Sunday, August 28, 2011


Remember this D-Bag? Yeah if you go here you'll see this isn't the first time we've dipped our Bastard Toes into the pool of poor protoplasm that is single-speeding hipsterism.

This is the first announcement of a "proposed" Single Speed Tuesday. We've had a few single speeders out lately, and they've hung on with the determination that it seems that only a single speeding freak can muster.

Mr. Kim Lee (where's the photo of Russ?) getting ready to get his Single Speed hurt just a few rides ago. Yeah chasing guys on carbon fiber World Cup Cyclocross isn't a lot of fun when you can't shift up or down, suck, or so I remember.

After the last few rides Mr. Kim Lee and Russ were so damn proud of themselves for showing the geared guys a thing or two, they went out and got some "Good Game" knuckle tats. You guys rock!

Russ, Kim, these will go over soooooo well at work. Can't wait to get mine. Did they hurt?

In case you don't have a single speed, and want one for Tuesday, but don't necessarily want to plunk down the bucks for one, here's a video that can shows you how to build one in like 30 seconds. Okay I didn't watch it, since I have a SS sitting in the garage, looking lonely and unused (whispering Tuesday I'll fix your ass buddy), I did notice that to make a single speed you need just a few tools and need to wear some khaki shorts with no shoes or socks. Oh yeah. I love wrenching in bare feet. Just don't drop the fucking screwdriver, okay?

Okay, if you don't want to watch the video, here's my own tutorial on making one.

One the front end, nearest the front wheel and the handle-bars you need something that looks like this:

In the back, nearest the rear wheel and the place where your ass goes, sometimes called the bicycle seat, you need something that looks like this:

While these bikes are called single speeds, which I guess refers to the fact that they only go one speed - which isn't true because they can go as fast or as slow as you pedal – I thing they should be called Two Gear Bikes because they have two gears, one in front and in back. While I may disagree with the SS naming convention, I'm all over the name that the good folks at Redline gave my bike:

Yeah, you Dirty Mudder Fuc@#%ers!

Any, this Tuesday break out your Single Speed, or bikes with just to gear rings. I believe that there are a few of you out there: Jurrien, Craig (Flying Bats) Kim Lee, Russ, myself, and oh ... I don't know who else, but maybe you'll show up just for the beer. I have a super single speed route plotted out in my mind (somewhere you don't want to go) and it should be fun - it's going to be filled with surprises, kids, to be there!

Here's one of the Bastards that should have a Single Speed. She's got the attitude already, all she needs is one of those Bikes-With-Two-Gear-Rings:

What the hell? Too much road racing, she's finally cracked folks. Somebody get this woman an heckle horn and a cross bike before she gets a knuckle tattoo!

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