(Guess who is leading tonight's ride? Yeah I'm the new guy! Look out bitch I'm on your right! Idiot!)
I'm frequently asked ( just once), "just what do I have to do to be able to ride with the infamous Crazy Bastards?" I never know what to say when I'm asked this (that one time) because I never saw a very high bar of eligibility for our rides. I'm guessing that our image exceeds my view of our group.
Could this be what comes to mind when people talk in hushed whispers about the Crazy Bastard Ride?
(Is this really what people think we look like out on those dark gravel roads?)
(Do they think these are the kind of uniforms we ride in?)
(Do they think that ride leaders look like this - screaming at riders from the beginning to the end of the ride? Bastards!!!)
(And no doubt the outside world views our after ride drinking sessions as something as cool - and wrong - as a whiskey gulping scenes from Mad Men.)
Well, those perceptions are all wrong. Here's a photo taken by our team photographer, from the team photography car during last week's ride:
(On your right! On your right! I mean on your left! On your left!)
When we're done riding, here's what our group looks like back at the Honey Creek. Hardly Mad Men or a bar scene from Sons of Anarchy.
(Tonight everyone got cake because we ate every bit of our Asian Fried Carp. Mommy can I have some more? I love looking into those deep-fried carp eyeballs as I sink my fork into its smelly fish guts.)
So what do you need to join the ride? Something with two wheels, no motor, and a sense of humor and no common sense. The bar is set so low for the ride I've decided to ride this tonight just to prove the point:
(It's the next step after steel, alloy, scandium and carbon fiber: plastic!)
See you tonight - if you have the nerve after all this crap. Petere Towndsend Park just East of Cannonsburglar. We roll out at 6. Be there, bring your big wheel, cross bike, unicycle, or mountain bike.