Friday, February 26, 2010

Thursday Ride

Felt a little chilly come go time Thursday night:

Except for Tony and Batty, the parking lot looked deserted when I got there.

JZ came rolling up a few minutes later on his bike. No dog in tow, but I like this pic. Check out the matchin' helmets. That boozin dog we see around here needs some head protection too. Slick!

Saw this guy out there. He wondered whatinthehell we were up too. Drivin' on ice or ridin' on ice, we speak the same language. Keep on truckin' big man! Keep on truckin'

The winds were strong enough this going on somewhere along Giles. That's not the Wikid Witch of the West, that's Tony taking flight! "There's no place like home, there's no place like home!"

Kinda felt like this when we were done:

Heading over to the HC for some recon. They redecorated, plus it was a little busy:

Decided to go home and watch some of this:

combined with this...

Crazy Bastard Status awarded to those guys. They deserve a Top Gun moniker for that stuff.

Small crowd, but good night for a ride. Roads were slick when it was covered. Exposed dirt will turn deep if it warms up. If it stays cold with a little more snow, it should all be good.

Later Bastards,


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

White Knuckles, White Dogs, and White Bicycles Seats Continued...

Now, I remember that White English Setter (see previous post), I saw him chasing this white guy up the White Pine Trail last summer.

My dog is interested.

And with all things white, I have to show off my new white tandem, with matching white seats.


About the only exercise I got last night, riding almost 20 miles of an "Awesome Sauce" consisting of of ice, slush and mud, was squeezing the brake hooks until my knuckles were as white as this obviously alcoholic dog in my lap. I'm hoping Thursday will see better traction, or something. I'm sort of hoping that a volcano will erupt on Mount Ashley (ever try towing a bike up that hill in deep mud? That was last Thursday ...) and that lava will flow down over the whole course to melt the "Awesome Sauce" and leave us with something that bike tires can actually stick to. How I didn't crash I don't know. Somebody did go down next to me letting of a long and anguished string of Stooge noises as he went. Luckily no one was hurt.

On my day off I plan on dropping the dog off at the Betty Ford rehab unit for English Setters. No more microbrew for you! Down you booze hound!

Hope Thursday's better.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Sauce Ride Tonight?

Friday, February 19, 2010


Great night for a ride. Good temperatures and loads of riders - maybe 10 to 15 - but I never got a good head count. In attendance, NiteRider Studboy, Werdy, Redline, Kahuna, Flying Bats, Simple, Patrick Dancing Queen Drueke, Mike V, McKenzie the Wattage Cottage and more.

The roads started out hard and fast and Werdy and I, rocking low geared SSs, were tagging off the back for awhile - until the roads got a little deeper. Bats and Simple were also SSing it, but had more gear, which was good, until as I said, the roads got deeeper, and deeper.

We went for the big loop to the north, traveling east down 7, to Ashely Judd north. Everything was rolling pretty good until we got near 10 mile (on Ashley) when we suddenly discovered that Patrick and Kahuna were MIA.

I headed back to search for the Lost Boys while the rest of the group continued North. It was a few miles until I discovered the two at the side of the road staring with their headlamps, at a rear wheel laying at their feet. When I showed up their first comment was, "well at least the coyotes have stopped howling." Yeah they were screwed in the middle of nowhere.

It seems the Patrick's rear wheel had decided to become a true "free-wheel" and refused to lock up in either direction. This, I guess, is the anit-fixed gear configuration since the free-wheel just spins in both directions. We still don't know if the wheel's ratchets were just frozen, or if the hub is just jammed with sequins from Patrick V-Day race outfit.

Before I arrived the two Lost Boys also frightened a woman driver that they tried to hail down. They said she gave them a horrified look, and then fled as fast as her SUV would carry her. My guess is this what they looked like to her:

We weighed our options for getting home. I had cell-phone (neither one of the Lost Boys did - hey guys always take your phone - the only time I have ever need it on one of these rides was the one time I didn't take it) so Patrick was able to call his wife who, not as horrified as the woman in the SUV was at all keen on rolling out to get him. But just at that moment our hero for the night - Matt Wood arrived. He gave us a strap to try to tow Patrick back, but also went to check on getting a pick-up truck to take the wounded bike and rider back to Townsend. The towing didn't work, but the truck, with Matt at the wheel made. Matt and Patrick made it back in record time, while Kahuna and I rode back to base for a nice ride with just one time out when a muddy rut sucked Kahuna into the ditch and he did his own 360 OTB McTwist & Shout into a nice fluffy snowbank. That Gold medal snowboard dude would have been proud.

Matt joined us for a few beers (thanks Patrick!) back at the HC and so ended the night with a bunch of Bastards and friends having a few cold ones at the bar.

Great ride, great adventure - and once again we lucked out. Maybe we should call ourselves the Lucky Crazy Bastards. Naw, that would be too much and just asking for trouble.

Have a good weekend riding, and see you Bastards Tuesday.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Back in town from CI. Wow its cold up here!

Is anyone riding tonight?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Riding Tonight...?

Is anyone planning on riding tonight?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Versluis Snowcross 2

Winner, winner, sequin dinner. Yes, Patrick represented at last weekend's Versluis Snowcross by taking home first place in the costume contest. How long it will take him to live it down is anybody's guess. Well done Patrick!

More costume contestants show off some muddy butties. Know who they are?

It was Valentines Day weekend and love was indeed in the air. Here McKenzie's legs get a good checking out at the start line of the As.

More representin' by the Bastards in the "actual" race was done by Tony who took home 1st place in the Bs!!!! Well done Tony. I didn't have a photo of Tony at the race so I used one of his training photos. It shows you the preparation and dedication it takes to win in the Bs. The As were won by some guy named Joe 3. Do we care? Not really.

Like I said love was in the air. Here ICEMAN checks out the beautiful costume winner at the start line of the Bs. While ICEMAN eyed those sweet BEDAZZLED bib-tights, Patrick was getting a good whiff of CD's non-bedazzled but heavily embrocated calves.

A big thanks to the Versluis' and the Farmer Racing Team for again putting on another great race. Also nice job to all the Bastards who showed. If you want to see more photos, and much better photos, check out Jack Kunnen's photography site.

Friday, February 12, 2010


Could this be the future of the Crazy Bastards?

Great ride last night with regulars like Redline and MC, err, ICEMAN, plus some faces we haven't seen for a while.  Ralph came out on a new giant-looking (hey he's a big guy) Kona Jake the Snake. (We found your mittens in the snow on the way to the HC, Ralph).  MC and stoker KAT joined us rocking a white cross tandem rig, with white snow tires! So cool, but isn't MC always so cool? Seeing the tandem in a action we had to think 'could this be the ultimate Bastard solution for our winter rides?'  Just think of it! All we have to make sure is that none of the dudes from the church ride get on and we're set to go! And only one chain to clean! To be totally unique maybe we should also consider some other options other than the traditional straight line tandem-plus ride.

Above is a sweet idea in multi-rider transportation. Since you'll be sitting kind of face-to-face. It will also provide ample opportunity for even more chit-chat while riding, and other social interactions, if you call passing the flask around a social interaction.

How about a double-double configuration? Friendly, and this piece of crap won't fall over on the ice like my Surly always wants to. And, this rig will make it possible to say those magic words, "Could you please rub some more lotion on my shoulders?"

Of course here's the ultimate ride multi-Bastard ride! It comes with a bunch seats  for all of us and Angelina Jolie doing the stoking!!!!! I don't know if Brad Pit will be there, but who cares? I hear he has B.O. anyway. Dibs on the seat in the back. I wonder if that white helmet will fit me?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Training Ride Tonight?

It looks like one no and one maybe for tonight, anyone else?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Had to fly the "Missing Man" formation last night. Ralf, Tony and I braved the new snow without our wingmen. It was a sad evening, but we felt much better when we got back to the flight deck. Hope it's just MIA and they have not gone down in flames.

Monday, February 8, 2010


Here's a hot tip for cold weather riding gear I learned of from ICEMAN aka CD over beers at the HC last week. Stopping for a fill-up of Schnapps for his Surly Flask at the local liquor store in the Honey Creek shopping district, CD received some cold weather clothing tips from the woman behind the counter. After learning that he (ICEMAN) was about to go on a late night winter ride she suggested All-Weather Golf Pants as the way to go when facing cold temperatures. I'm not sure if its true, but maybe one of you Bastards might know if it's the thing or not.

Saturday, February 6, 2010



Appeared in print: FridayFeb 5, 2010

No slippery getaway in lotion theft

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Police say a Massachusetts man who stuffed 75 bottles of body lotion in his pants couldn’t slip away from authorities, hampered by slacks that were nearly bursting at the seams.

Springfield police say 30-year-old Chamil Guadarrama of Framingham was charged with larceny after the incident Wednesday night at Bath and Body Works in the Eastfield Mall.

— News service reports

If  only I hadn't been wearing those damn all-weather golf pants ICEMAN suggested I woulda made it!

Surly aka Rauol the Cabana Boy aka Chamil Guadarrama aka whatever dude

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Who wants to get Goosed?

Anyone Riding Thursday night? Cross Bikes, Mountain Bikes, Big Wheels? All comers welcomed... sort of. Mostly. Tolerated, maybe. I'll be out there. Got the whole work thing behind me last week, then the cable took a crap this weekend, but got that fixed Tuesday (Sorry for leaving Sparky to fend for himself on Tuesday). No excuses and a bunch of pent up energy ready to be released. I'm all packed up and will be rolling from the parking lot a bit early, but will be looping back and in the lot by go time!

Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire!

Versluis Snow Cross II

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I'm bringing my daughters along tonight just in case I'm the lone bastard once again.