SLAYING THE UPS AND DOWNS OF MUD, HILLS, FUN, PAIN AND PLEASURE IN ANN ARBOR: PHOTOS, STORIES AND BIG MAC VIDEOS GALORE

Guess who's knocking at the door ... yeah time to hide the kids and lock up the women and thrown the guns in the river ... Slayer is packin' a cross bike and he's coming to your town. That is if your town happened to be Ann Arbor this past weekend.

Haney aka Slayer on the top step of the Men's 45+ in Ann Arbor this weekend along with (Left to right, Jeff Center) Mike Seaman, Andy Klumb,, Bob Wozniak and Mark Wolowiec

Once again a nice showing for Westsiders at this weekend's Double-Header in Ann Arbor. This Tailwind race has to be one of the toughest, and possibly the best (pretty subjective, I know) cyclocross race in Michigan every year. While some courses, like the SVSU Red Zone course by Brian Hancock and the Stomach of Anger Crew, are getting pretty awesome, the two day hill climb and hammerfest in Ann Arbor,with its natural terrain, great spectator viewing, and excellent race organization has made this race an absolute cyclocross cross classic. (While I have photos of almost everybody that raced over the weekend sadly I don't have any of Adam McIntyre or Tom Burke. Tom took the podium two days in a row in the Elite race. How hard is that? Hard. Very hard.) Also - another late entry, and no photo - Fast Freddy Bunn also showed to hit the slopes at Ann Arbor in the Elite field. Nice job Freddy, you are my tough guy hero.

Yeah, that's Slayer and he carved this with his teeth after running away from a tough 45+ Master's Field in Ann Arbor on Saturday. He came back on Sunday with a second - to an elite racer that had "catted down" for the day. Nice work Jeff.

Osgood. In your face ... yeah you.

Is this the DUDE or what? Or is it just somebody picking up World's best cyclocross racer award? All of the above, we think, but then again we're very medicated today. Of course it's our good friend John Osgood picking up more hardware in the 35+ Masters in Ann Arbor - both days. John is killin' it this year.

Leaning on the cross bike to stay upright ... Good going on day one. Hurtin' on day 2.

Yeah I picked up a trinket by climbing onto one of the lower steps. Love the Halloween colors in the medal ribbon. Yeah, those guys got style over there.

Nancy Lange does it once again, riding onto the podium on Saturday. WELL DONE Nancy. You are truly cyclocross crazy.

While I sadly don't have any photos of Laura Melendez from the race (taking hand-ups again I see) it was worth noting that the Ann Arbor crowd knew she was coming. Just check out these T-shirts:

Yeah, she's a one,  that's for sure.

Don't know about that one, but it's certainly an invitation, isn't it?

Well we'll check on this one. I didn't see it listed on the Results page. Oh my.

NOW ON WITH THE FUN STUFF: BIG MAC VIDEOS FROM SATURDAY AND SUNDAY

These two videos will tell you practically all you need to know about the weekend racing. Another great production (set) by Adam McIntyre. Not only did Big Mac make some great videos, he also put in some great races in a super-tough and pack B (that's Cat 3, not Kisscross kids). He took 6th both days in fields of almost 50 racers. You can see by the video that they guys aren't kidding around. Lots of Elite Racers, and future Elites are in here and Big Mac is giving them a smack down. 

Thought riding and running up all those hills was hard on Saturday? Try it, below, in the opposite direction on a muddy and slippery course.

GONE HALLOWEEN CROSS RACING - BE BACK WITH MORE NONSENSE MONDAY

Have a happy Halloween, Halloween Cross Racers. We should be back here on Monday with plenty of race and silly costume race photos and hopefully some videos. Remember there's two days of racing in downtown Ann Arbor this weekend. I suggest you check it out at the Tailwind website - they'll have directions to the race, race times and all the categories (hey there's even a single speed race) - everything you need to get there and get going. There's also costume race on Saturday and a party house on the course with beer and food flowing all weekend long. This is one of my personal favorite courses, venues, and races of the year. If you have tried, I suggest you go, or put it on your list. It's this Saturday and Sunday.

There's a KISSCROSS racing going on this weekend and also the Lowell 50 Gravel Road Race put on by our friend Jeff Z. I'm not sure if registration is closed or not, but check it out with Jeff by visiting his website or BikeReg. Good luck Gravel Road Racers!

Also, speaking of gravel roads - nice ride last night - there was a little mud which actually washed off the bike! Thank God! I thought maybe it was permanent. Lots of people really pushing the pace to get in shape for that thing they call ICEMAN. There was also a bit more moderately paced group that made for enjoyable ride. Beautiful night for a ride.

Unless you have mad bike skillz like Jurrien aka Etho Bastard, above, and can fly over biking and body wrecking obstacles, I suggest you pick your courses carefully this weekend. Photo by Julie McGraw.

Be careful racing this Halloween. There is some racing out there this weekend that may be "trickier" than usual for your wheels, bikes and bodies - so use caution - especially if you're just starting out in cross about where you point that bike.

CYCLOCROSS SPRINKLES, AERIAL CROSS VIDEOS AND THINKING ABOUT RIDING TONIGHT?

Sprinkles were forecast for last night's ride, but we really didn't see many. Not as many as this anyway. This is what happens when you ride behind somebody through sprinkles and they have a knobby tire, like a Michelin Mud 2 or a Dugast Rhino. Don't worry about those sprinkles - you can just wash them off, or lick them off. And yes, they are delicious. 

 

I guess this is what happens when you ride in sprinkles and don't have a rear fender. I wonder how delicious these sprinkles would be to lick off? Leave a comment or we'll run a poll. I interested to see what kind of Bastards you really are ...

Should have used a flash, but here's what the group that made practice last night - minus your narrator. Yeah we braved the aforementioned "sprinkles" to get in a few hill climbs, off camber twists and turns, and just a good blow on the cross bike. Left to right Fast Freddy Bunn, Jeff Werdy Festian, and Rich Purple Bike Heckman. Thanks for coming gentlemen (and I use the term loosely) nice work.

As for those that didn't come because of a "Sprinkle phobia I hope this will help you face sprinkles in the future. Maybe you can get a case of this stuff:

NOW ON WITH THE REALLY FUN CROSS STUFF, LIKE ANOTHER CROSS VIDEO - THIS TIME PRODUCED, IT LOOKS LIKE, BY THE CROSS GODS ABOVE

That was fun, wasn't it? I don't know why we had to see every category, but okay, I'm with it. You've got the video, damn well use it.

The last good photo of me racing, ever. This was taken at Mad Anthony by Cristin Robb. You can view more of her great work (imagine what she can do with a better subject) at her Smug Mug site right here.

We're really lucky to have so many great photographers that love to shoot cyclocross like Andrea Tucker, Jack Kunnen, Hans Nyberg at Ten Mile Media, and Julie McGraw. Whenever you want to re-live a cross race, all you have to do is visit their site.

RIDE TONIGHT?

I could use a little spin to get my legs ready for a tough weekend of racing in Ann Arbor, so I'm not going to be killing it, that's for sure. Haven't quite got the hurt out from Mad Anthony yet. If it's not raining too hard, I'll see you at Townsend. Because of the weather we're rolling right at 6 - unless you let us know ahead of time that you'll be late, we gotta roll ... if we know you're going to be late we can wait a few, but the pressure is on to roll on time. If you ride tonight let's not having a bunch of whining about the mud and bikes looking this okay? It's cross season boys and girls.

Hey Cross Tender, I'll have Another: More Mud and more Mad Anthony Videos Please!

Ready to get muddy? Here's a day-after-the-ride photo from last week's slightly wet ride. Tonight could be worse. But that's why the Bike Gods made single speeds, isn't it? Less crap to clean. Less crap to go bad. Less expensive stuff to replace. Anyway I am foolishly charging  the light and looking for riding clothes that I hate and don't mind destroying for tonight's ride.

THE MICHIGAN SCENE (TMS)  BLOG - WHAT THE HELL IS IT? IS IT COOL? THE MUST READ OF THE DAY AFTER YOUR CBX STOP?  I THINK SO, BUT THEN AGAIN I'VE BEEN WRONG BEFORE

One of my favorite blogs these days has to be The Michigan Scene. It's a weird place in time and place which mixes urban, hipster, gangster and cyclocross racing into a one strange brew. If you have not visited TMS, I suggest you make the trip. There's a great interview with John Osgood a couple of weeks  ago that's a must read - even if you don't like John (and who doesn't?). But maybe I'm all wrong. Take a look at the video from Mad Anthony and you tell me.

Also discovered a just a slightly older video on the Michigan Scene blog which is, I guess, about the Munson Night race a few weeks ago. While there are photos from the race there are also a bundle of images from the archives. I love the old shot of Brian Hancock as a small child. There's also a shot of me doing my one-handed carry at Stomach of Anger at the beginning of the season. I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm in there with Mr. T, which I guess, is cool. You'll see a lot of Mr. T in the Michigan Scene videos, plus a lot of guns, babes, boobs, and butts, which again while we don't endorse here at Crazy Bastards Cross, we will watch over and over and over again when nobody's looking. So enjoy another crazy, wacky video from the fine (?) folks at TMS.

CRAZY BASTARD RACE REPORT: BIG MAC MAD ANTHONY VIDEO

The women's Elite Podium at Mad Anthony featuring our own Cupcake, and Susan Shaw.

Plenty of racing, and plenty of photos and videos from the weekend are on the way, folks. The first, and best one yet has to be Adam McIntyre's first lap of Mad Anthony, in Detroit, this Saturday. What a course! Brutal tough, wicked f'ing fast, and still fun to ride. What a race! Hats off to the Stomach of Anger Series, and special thanks to the Beat the Train folks for hosting and our good friend Joe Lekovish, who's really had a hand in making this a great race, put together a truly great 'cross race with a unique and fun character. It made for a sweet weekend all on it's own hanging in Detroit, and enjoying the racing, dining and a few beers with friends. But on with the video. I really dig Big Mac's music, camera angle - the whole thing is fantastic - I also love the music break when you come back into the fort, cause it's kinda weird coming out of that tunnel. The race, in the fort, made for a great spectating venue as well. I'll post more photos and other videos later - plus shots of the Fox that tried to attack Betty, later, but for now open up the full-screen and turn-up the volume! Thanks Big Mac! (If haven't seen it there's also a Big Mac first lap video of Manhattan Park on Sunday - I'll post that up later as well.)

Here's what just some of the course looked like inside the fort: great spectating venue with the crazy stuff going on inside the wall.s

Kim holding Betty back while she's looking for the fox that almost attacked her. Don't believe me?

Well here's that nastyass Fox that went after Betty coming out of his or her den after the race for a little drink. Joe Lekovish shot this, I believe. Nastyass Fox, look at him drinking that water - disgusting!

JUST IN: Linden Tailwind Race Video

Another beautifully done video of the Linden Tailwind Race last weekend by Ten Mile Media. You'll see a few West-Siders sneaking in there, including Jeff "Slayer" Haney, Cupcake and Tom Burke. Take a look and get fired up for the weekend ...

2011 LINDEN PARK CYCLOCROSS - SHORT from Hans Nyberg on Vimeo.

MUDDY ROAD RIDE REPORT - WHERE HAVE ALL THE ICEMAN PEOPLES GONE?

If the light had been on, this is what you would have seen on 7 mile last night. In some spots the slop was so deep and sticking I thought I was going to have to get off and walk. Speed was key in going in a straight line, and unfortunately, I didn't have any. What the SS lacked in topline performance, though, it made up in being a helluva lot easier to clean. A little cooler last night, it was time for a little warmer footwear.

So where have all the hardmen and hardwomen of West Michigan gone to? A rain drop and "poof" the gang is all rolled up and gone home. I'm guessing many of you were by the fire hugging the fat tires of your Mukluks, am I right? I'd call it Mukluk love ... maybe there should be song?

For those of you that don't know what a Mukluk is, here it is.

Mukluks are used for Snow riding, Adventures Racing, Sand riding, and Bushwacking, whatever that is ... sound NSFW, is what it sounds.

Here's Slayer trying out a Mukluk style bike. Think he'll be going to Alaska to race this winter? With zero body fat he better bundle up since Mukluk love is on the way. Oh by the way I did find a Mukluk song, just sing-along, and everytime you hear MUSKRAT, just substitute MUKLUK.

The Captain and Tennille sing MUKLUK LOVE

Back to the ride last night. Here are two of the five guys that weathered the weather. Jurrien, Etho-Bastard on the left in his insulated skin suit and Ryan Allen on the right, about to slime that light colored kit with some serious mud.

Showing up in brand new kit, was our own Big Mac, Adam McIntrye. The newest member of the FreeWheeler team Adam thought it would be a great idea to take fresh clean kit out and mud-it-up.

When it's rainy or crappy who can you count on to always be there for a ride? That's right its Shawn Davidson sticking his tongue out at the rain and mud. Nice SS. The first choice in whips for crap roads.

While we don't have flags yet, I'll be flying this in mind over the race weekend. Yeah, that will do a lot of good, won't it? Weather is supposed to be nice, but I can't imagine that the ground will be dry enough for another grass crit, so pack a bucket and a brush. Good luck to you, wherever you roll and race this weekend.

RIDING IN THE RAIN, RACING IN THE MUD, HECKLING FROM THE SIDELINES

Could this be you if we ride tonight? Let's hope not, otherwise you're changing your name to Big Mac.

Wondering about a ride tonight? Well wear a garbage bike. If I do go I'm rolling an SS because of the "less shit to clean" cycling model I'm adopting for bad weather. I'll put a post here and FB if I decide that it's too crappy for me to ride. Yeah, I'm delicate.

COOL CYCLOCROSS RACE VIDEO

Just to get you fired up here's a video from Ft. Collins, Colorado. I love all the different camera angles on the bike, and the trippy part kind of makes me lightheaded. The only thing I can't figure is why those guys are in the trunk at the beginning. Let me know if you figure it out.

HECKLE DILEMMA ANTICIPATED FOR THIS WEEKEND!

With cross racing going on on both sides of the state this weekend means one thing: Heckling resources are going to be stretched thin. Since there's only one professional Heckler in Michigan (pictured below) somebody is going to be left out. If you want to fill in the gap I think I may have just what you need to bring your Heckle up to Cupcake grade quality.

Our own Heckler star. She looks nice. But what comes out of that thing is something else.

It's this lovely video on heckling. I'm wondering if Cupcake has seen this one? Hmmm. I don't think I've heard her toss any of these out. Anyway it's a great Cyclocross Heckling um, video. Watch and learn watch and learners ...

WHERE WILL YOU BE RACING THIS WEEKEND? WHERE WILL I BE RACING THIS WEEKEND? WHO THE HELL CARES? IT'S GREAT TO HAVE A RACE TO GO TO THIS WEEKEND.

FYI, as if you cared, and I know you don't, I'll be on my way to Mad Anthony this weekend to check it out for the first time ever. I've heard a lot of good things about this race but usually travel has taken it out of the picture. Now as part of the Stomach of Anger Series, and placed on a free weekend, I'll be able to make it. Enjoy your racing, wherever you go.

Also: I'm planning on getting some Mad Anthony ink this weekend to celebrate my first race there. I was thinking across my entire back. You think with all that black it's going to hurt?

RIDE AND RACE PHOTOS: THE BIG, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

First for the BIG. That was last night's ride. Who are these people? Where did they come from? Don't they have homes? Why is the ICEMAN the world's greatest race, greater even than that Tour de France thing? These are questions I alone can't answer. You're on your own. And if you don't have a light, probably alone in the dark too. Actually it was a great ride, stayed to together until the bitter and dark end, while holding a generally good pace. Thanks to all of you who managed not to piss me off last night. Yeah it was that kind of a day - and this ride was the best outcome possible.

NOW ON WITH THE RACING PHOTOS AND STUPID RACE STORIES RACE FANS!

The smiling face of Cupcake at the line and ready to rock. The rest of the competition is wandering around at this point trying to find their asses with both hands. It was an amazing display of brain power. Of course Cupcake knew exactly what she was doing. Yeah, being cool and trying to be nice so she wouldn't get any nasty heckling.

Cupcake, still smiling and on the podium. Even if this isn't her step, we're going with this story. While she looked happy at the start, and at the awards ceremony, I can tell you from being there she didn't look that way during the race. Who did?

Speaking of BIG, BAD and UGLY all in one sweet package, the usually handsome and always dashing Big Mac Adam McIntrye, gives us the old "Guppy-Out-Of-Water" cyclocross racer look as he stomps his way up some sort of climb. Take a look at his jersey - I think you'll be seeing some new team colors flying on him soon.

Speaking of flying, "Holy Flying Etho Bastard 'Fat Man," it's the airborne Etho-Bastard showing everyone how it's done at Richmond Park as he spreads his wings (chicken style) over the CONCRETE DITCH OF DEATH. Well done Etho-Bastard, you rock, and fly, apparently.

While people were flying over DITCHES OF DEATH on the Westside, racers were lining up to hammer each other into whimpering submission on the Eastside. Here's a trio of killers in the Masters 45+ in Linden, on Sunday. On the far left, leaning into the shot, is our own Jeff "Slayer" Haney, in the middle, Robert W looking way serious. Giving us the stare-down is our good friend and many time cross champ Mark Wolowiec. Nice race gentlemen, the whole thing looked like it really hurt.

Here I am lining up and not paying attention to anything that the rest of the group is except getting my picture taken. On my left is the Fonz, who made an appearance. I think he beat me on Sunday. I don't know who didn't. Yeah, I really sucked on this course. Not enough practice on the twist-and-shoot style courses, is what I think. I gotta get to work on that ...

Back to Richmond. Congratulation to Sarah McIntyre for her race at Richmond on Sunday. Looks like practice paid off for her. Well done Sarah, and it looks like you are able to run that little hill without looking like a Guppy trying to breath out of water.

Finally, who says you need carbon fiber to be competitive in cross racing today? Werdy just sent me this photo of his new Unicorn-Cross Bike made out of exotic plywood. Hey, Werdy, you're going to be getting some sweet looks at the line with this one. I really dig the horn, myself. I'll guess you'll be coming through whenever you want to. Not a bad idea, but I'm a little concerned over the fork rake. At least you won't be worrying about "toe-overlap."

WEEKEND RACE REPORT ALONG WITH WHINING AND CRYING AND GOOD VIDEOS

Planning on riding tonight. I'll post more photos of our fellow Bastard Racers, and their exploits, a little later. For now here are some videos, and a brief report on what I know for now ...

If you raced in Linden this past weekend here's a little, but not all of what you got.

If you raced in Chicago this weekend, well you gotta a whole of everything. I raced this race years ago and it was nowhere the what this beauty appears to be. I did riding through the cornfield. Shucks, that's plain dang awesome!



Well it wasn't all whining and crying. Somebody had a good time. And I can't say that I didn't have a good time because I did. Even though I sucked at racing this weekend. And I'm not going to make any excuses other than I just sucked. Sucked happens. That's why there's another race on the following weekend (thank you Stomach of Anger, Red Zone and Mad Anthony for filling in!!!!!). The course in Linden was different, and testing, and demanded more than just speed - it demanded some really awesome bike handling and the legs to jump out of one corner after another in a series of short and brutal straightaways that literally sucked the life out of you. I've sucked at this race two years in a row, and I'm starting to work now on learning on how to race this kind of course in the future. There's always something new to learn in cross, and that's the beauty of it. Still, I pretty much suck at these courses.

On the other side of the state, at the KissKross race there was lots of fun to be had and I'm glad to hear that the organizers (Werdy) put that awesome hill back in so you had something to do with your spare time (puking your guts out). I also heard that the ditch was back in and I'm guessing that it is all part of a KK cabel to destroy as many wheels and flat as many tires as possible; take for example last week's flat festival of the arts in Kalamazoo. To show you what the damage the ditch can do in the "wheel house" here's another wonderful video exhibit from our Crazy Bastard Videographer, Adam, Big Mac, McIntyre.

GET READY TO FLY YOUR CRAZY BASTARD FREAK FLAG HIGH!

Could this be the future banner of Crazy Bastards Cyclocross? Thanks once again to the imagination and talent of Adam McIntryre, or Big Mac, we now have flag. I think Adam has just put this out there as a working design, but to tell you the truth I think it's awesome, and tells our whole story, as strange as that is in one kind of crazy emblem that depicts some crazy guy on a bike getting chased by a Killer Chihuahua while a Rampart Lion farts at him.

Years from now when people dig up the remains of our civilization, they'll wonder what kind of people we were. It will be like discovering cave drawings. You know, when they were discovered everybody tried to put meaning to the ancients' scribblings and drawings.

The future analysis of our flag will probably be made by some geeky, nerdy guy (pictured above) that has lived his whole life in an institution of higher learning that will find our flag and will say: "WHAT THE FUCK WERE THESE CRAZY BASTARDS THINKING?"

Hopefully our flag, our remains, and our cross bikes will be found by an archeologist like this guy (above), who has just found an ancient gold cycling helmet. He'll know that we were Crazy, but fun ... well sometimes fun.

Just think of what people thought of this (above) when it was discovered. Actually this was the basis for one of the first drafts of the flag that Adam came up with. I liked it, but without a head I don't know where I'd put my light, which I usually mount on my helmet. It does, however, kind of remind of the service at the HC. I love that place.

Another rejected design, and also a great find for the future to ponder what we were up to, was this drawing. While I think it certainly says GROUP RIDE, I'm a little worried about what the sprint finish will look like. (Hey that's what I call drafting and wheel sucking!)

Check back in on Monday for full race reports from Tailwind (Linden), Kisscross (Richmond Park, Peak to Peak (I have no idea where that is), Colorburst, and anywhere else you are rolling around on two wheels.

FOR ALL YOU _________ THAT DIDN'T RIDE LAST NIGHT

Yeah, for all you _____ that didn't make the ride last night, I just wanted you to know that you missed a good one.

While we were riding in a light rain my guess you were home, cuddled up like this. Am I right?

Real men, like Shawn Davidson, and real women like Roxanne Woodring, ride in the rain. Here Shawn is clearing the mud and tree branches out of his riding specs after riding through a fucking killer tornado last time out.

Where have all the hard men and women gone? This was the scene last night as we prepared to roll out under threatening, yet warm skies.

Kinda tough guys Matty "Ice In His Veins Graves", Jeff "I've Got Bubonic Legs" Z, and Roxanne Woodring, with her back to us, discuss the possibilities of what sprinkles could do to us.

The tough just keep getting somethinger. Werdy, Tony, and the Mike K, aka the Frenchmen, set their jaws and prepare to ride into hell. If your idea of hell is 70 degrees F and a raindrop. Sounds more like LA. Okay that may be hell.

While there have been absolutely hoards of riders preparing for the great-almighty-iceman, last night saw a paucity of riders. One could imagine that it was because they were tapering for a race this weekend, though I find this hard to believe, as tapering and would seem to be something only a real _________ would do, to use a common Mountain Biking term. My guess is the threat of rain kept them home. Oh well, that just meant more great roads for us.

In case you haven't guessed what _______ is, here's some multiple choice options. Place you answer in the comment box, and have a good weekend of racing, riding or whatever it is you plan to do this weekend. Maybe I'll see some of you in Linden trying to sprint up that hill.

Here are your options. Pick the word or phrase that best fills in the the blank:

Anybody that didn't ride last night was a real ___________.

(  ) Mountain Biker
(  ) Roadie
(  ) douchebag
(  ) tough guy caught between a rock and a 'narly place
(  ) baby; still crushed because Contador didn't win the TdF this year
(  ) baby; still crushed because the guy with the squeaky voice won the TdF this year
(  ) smart, because you kept your sweet riding kit clean and dry
(  ) pussy
(  ) hero

In case you still did not get it, here's one last clue. For those that didn't ride you'll also be receiving a sample of the product being sold in this "clue ridden" commercial. I think you know why.