TUESDAY NIGHT RIDE AND SEAL HUNT

"People don't understand when I tell them 'these rides are so fucking stupid, but they are so nice."

Question: "Do you have studs on that bike?"

Answer: "Just one. Me."

Question: "Did you see a baby seal over there?"

Answer: "You're Canadian, aren't you."

Question: "Do you think my wife will ever see this photo?"

Answer: "You mean your future ex-wife?"

(Please note: no baby seals were harmed on this ride so don't any of you PETA bastards call me!)

The "here we go again" look.

It was a great ride last night. Warmer, nice traction until the bending end, and lot's of wonderful quotations and quips bantered about, as seen above. We had Bob H, Amy, Bob S, Redline Bastard, aka JZ Feff, Craig "Flying Bats" Rawlings, Steve B-Yellow-Redline Bastard," Larry aka Big Kahuna Bastard (hope you're feeling better today Larry) my Surly self, other people I can't talk about, and even fans waiting for us at the Creek.

People also kept saying that some guy named Yoda was on the ride, until I realized they were talking to me (and about me). I think it's the ears. Man, that's cold.

Back to the ride, and the all important part of it: preparation in the car. Here Bob S is doing something to get ready for another challenging Night Winter Ride. What's going on in there Bob?

Hmmm. I'm not quite sure. Something to do with his crotch, apparently. Maybe for the Holiday Season we should call him Bob Crotchet?

Speaking of preparation, Redline Bastard has the game down and prepared for about damn near anything. He's fashioned this rear fender out of KY Jelly, frozen it, and attached it to his seat stay as a fender. Should he need to lubricate anything like a chain, or a waitress, he simply warms it up a little.

The only stud on this bike is me. And my studded tires. Steve B is locked and loaded with these bad boys fore and aft.

Our Canadian friend Amy joined us for the ride. As you can see she's from Canada, home of the snowmobile and the baby seal hunter's club. I don't think that mask is going to disguise you beyond recognition, but nice try.

Here we are off into the dark, cold, and snow. It was a pretty night for a ride - a little snow falling, people singing Christmas Carols, and looking for Baby Seals. I hate those people, I do. But damn those critters make such soft slippers.

Everytime I try to snap a photo is looks like the Return of Tron. No wonder cars stop or drive into the ditch when we approach.

Craig, Flying Bats, looking like he's approaching the summit, the Death Zone, or something else scary. It wasn't as bad as it looks. And I can type okay with just eight fingers. And who needs toes when you've got carbon soled bike shoes?

I think I see a seal! I Think I see a seal!

Amy clearing her lenses. She think she sees the prey at hand, but no luck, Oh Canada, the ride's over.

He escaped! (Furry little Bastard) I think he's laughing at us - that's us back up on the hill, headed to the Creek.

The sure sign of good ride. Oh yeah, it's Guiness my Goodness!

It wasn't long before this boot stomped into the creek. Do I see baby seal blood on the heel? Nope, just taco sauce.

Robin was super happy to see us. And we, as you can see were happy to see her. She's super awesome, she really is.

Almost as awesome as my Guiness, after a cold, but good ride.

Robin was also glad to see Bob and Steve. Apparently she has no idea about that crotch thing Bob has going on. Oh well.

Tuesday Night Bastard Quiz: In the photo above what's going on?

1. Amy is Canadian and she's having difficulty reading this American Menu

2. She reading the menu slowly so Bob H can order.

3. This photo has nothing to do with Amy - It's about Craig:

a. Craig is praying for our disgusting souls

b. Craig is still in character from Halloween when he was dressed as the Pope.

Now it was on with the eating, and more drinking. Bob started with a salad opener.

Amy went with the disgusting Wedge. This is one of the worst looking foods on the planet, isn't it?

Bob H digs into something that someone suggested he eat. If I were him I'd borrow Amy's Seal club and give them a thrashing. Yuck!

If you thought poorly photographed food looked bad when it arrived, check it out after some eating had been committed.

Yummy. I just threw up in my mouth.

I'm looking for my Crazy husband, or something ...

An evening of drinking and dining at the creek just wouldn't be complete without a visit from Swanzee's, would it? Yeah they were there holding down the Creek when we arrived.

A Riccola ad, or is he just glad to see us? Thanks for the deep throat view, George. I'll have nightmares for a week after this.

Our bill for the even, something like $13,825.00. Who's leaving a tip? Sure was fun. Check in Thursday, for more ride information.