CYCLING PARTY REPORT

Oh what fun! There's nothing like a party with all your cycling buddies, is there? Unless it's being trapped in a basement with a guy who calls himself Butterfly Man. This weekend marked another edition of the Fundy-Undy Party sponsored by Priority Health, benefitting Mel Trotter, that draws local cycling illuminaries (and some not so illuminaries) to the cycling get-together of the season. It's a great way to see those people you got so sick of during the cycling season but don't get to see once the riding weather goes away (isn't that the beauty of winter?). You also get to see all your old friends without their cycling costumes on, so you barely know who they are anyway. Oh Joy! It is the Season, isn't it?

You know it's a cycling themed party when you see cool chicks rockin' cycling themed ink. Guess who?

Or moon boots. Somebody from Canada is our guess. What's yours?

Bob, Kim, Amy. The owner of the moon boots isn't in this shot but my guess she's near. Oh Canada!

Here's a good looking couple. They are so good looking they make me sick. Yeah, I'm jealous Nice to see you Mike and Wendy. They celebrated some kind of strange anniversary at this party, but I don't want to talk about it ...

The girls just want to have fun, don't they? Laura, Kim and Shari, rockin' out, apparently.

Good to see Matt Graves. We talked about single-speed conversions. It was boring. You can see Amy Stauffer looking on in the background. "YOU GUYS ARE BORING ..." I think she's saying. Didn't know I could read lips from still photos, did you?

Another lovely couple that I bored the absolute shit out of. I had them running for the doors. Nice to see you Jody and Marcus! You were lucky this time, next time I'll have the doors locked!

Laura, aka Cupcake, aka the Heckler, received a brand new Hecklehorn for Christmas from her devoted fans (along with a ticket to somewhere else). Seems that all that heckling wore the other hecklehorn out completely and she need a new one. It's good for the economy, and good for my motivation. Yeah, I need to be ridiculed to ride better, I do.

It didn't take long for the Hecklehorn to go into action. All that was required: Alcohol and four C batteries. All were available at the bar, apparently.

The man behind the underwear (or in it, or maybe commando, I don't want to know) party, Chuck G - aka Sugah and the Farmer's wife. Chuck is posing I think. He's never that contemplative, is he?

Kaat and Heather. Two of my favorite women on two wheels were at the party. Nice to see you hard riding gals. It's a wonder either one of them could take the time out from their outdoor pursuits to make the party - we're glad they did.

Nate, aka Farmer, seems to be enjoying himself.

Seriously? Seriously. Seriously? Seriously. Are these two enjoying themselves? Probably. They're just talking cycling. Seriously. If you can't tell from my lousy photography that's Fast Freddy and Fast Mike having a chat. Seriously. Way to party guys!

Two more cycling gals, together again. Danielle and Julie. We'll see more of them later. Clue: it won't be their faces we'll be looking at.

After a while you wear a party out. Or you get thrown out. At the end of the night we decided to move the moveable feast to another, more evil place. Here's Rich Heckman (in very fuzzy an disorienting photo) wishing me holiday cheer and a good-bye. Nice to see you too Rich!

Next stop - the Viceroy. A cool cocktail joint, not too far from the original Fundy-Undy location at McFaddens. The place has a certain groove to it, don't you think?

It also has some weird lighting. Here's Shari, the Farmer's wife, enjoying a drink bathed in red light.

Drinks, fun, laughs. We'll maybe just drinks. Cheryl, Kim and Cricket whoopin' it up at the Viceroy.

Now it's time for some serious partying. The Farmer tips it up and knocks it back. The Farmer's wife looks on in horror! (Hey that's not the look of horror, is it?)

She put down the hecklhorn to fuel up for the next round of ridicule and fun. Thatta girl!

Now for our Crazy Bastard Holiday Quiz

WHO BELONGS TO WHICH BUTT?

You know you've had one too many when you start snapping shots of asses. It reminded my of one of my favorite poems:

NICE ASS

SO MUCH GAINED

AND SO MUCH LOST

IN THOSE TWO WORDS

A butt like this could only sit on a bike, right? But what bike? And who does it belong to? We will call this BUTT A.

BUTT B: Another biker butt for sure. Name the cycling she does, mouNtain, road, cross, unicycle, plus her name. We are giving away prizes. Sure we are.

Another butt for your consideration. BUTT C. The type of bike she rides, and what's that strap hanging down:

a: Fetish Whip

b: Camera Strap

c: Parachute

d: The strap to a hecklehorn

BUTT D: You've probably followed this butt around at one time or another. It leads a lot of rides. But if you guess it right, you don't get any prizes, just kicked out of the group for knowing who it belongs to. But for those that want to be expelled from group, here are some clues:

a: It leads a lot of weekend rides

b: It leads Ada Bike Shop rides

c: It's pockets are usually filled with maps

d: It's Jim's butt

Bye-bye Amy, my you're looking blurroooooooreeeeeee....

So that was the party - at least the part of the party I remember. The above photo was the one I took saying good-bye to Amy Stauffer. She looks a little whacked, doesn't she? Hope she made it home okay. And hey... where am I? What are those bars on the windows? Huh ....