DADDY, WHAT DID YOU DO WHILE EVERYBODY WAS RACING THE ICEMAN?

So years, weeks, days, minutes from now when your kids, or an annoying neighbor or the guy you hate riding with asks you what were you doing during ICEMAN, the world's largest race of 2011, what are you going to say? Some of us had other things cooking, so we couldn't be there, and we felt left out (like what five people didn't go?). Many felt that 50,000 mountain bikes, in one day, on one trail is enough. Some were scared of riding through the woods that far, an didn't want to get run over by a 1,000 people full of Red Bull. Or others, like myself just needed a damn rest. Well, here's a little compilation of what some of us were doing while you were out Slaying the ICEMAN 2011.

Tom Burke was in Cincinatti at the big 3 day cross festival, trying to get around a bunch of guys that were having a hard time navigating the course, apparentaly.

Tom to guys who can't get going: "Gentlemen would you please @#$#$# pick up your bikes and @#$@#$ get them the @#$#@ out of the way and get going? Thanks, I appreciate it." (No Tom wouldn't talk that way.)

Other were just sitting around by their computer, waiting for this sweet video of this year's MAD ANTHONY to drop. Yeah, it's a nice one. Wish you'd done it now, don't you?

Others, with absolutely nothing to do watched this compilation of Euro Pros set to Belgium-style Country and Western (European Country and Western?) Music. Great riding. Weird video.

Others, still hiding in the basement, with nothing to do because all their riding 'buds were gone, watched endless videos on tubular tires. I can almost smell the glue, and the boredom, can't you?

I visited Frankenmuth with my parents on the day of the ICEMAN. I think you can see my mom dancing on one of the tables after a few beers and gobbling an all you can eat platter of chicken. Yeah you go Mom!

Some of us were still getting our Excorcism on, still trying to get Fangs McGee to leave town, or at least the body of our riding pals. Below Fangs has taken over the body of female cyclocross racer and being forced to leave by a Bastard Pastor. Let's hope it's not Cupcake that's in trouble with Fangs. Oh no!

While others, like fellow Bastard rider Aaron Huntington were out sticking some fine looking deer. Well done Aaron! Hope that's not a Reindeer, Aaron, or Werdy's Minions are going to be mighty upset with you. What time's dinner? Any chance we all going to get some riding Jerky?

Many hardcore cross Michigan fans were already on the road to the Louisville USGP of Cyclocross – that's this coming weekend. This is a shot of the the Crazy Bastard Team Hot Dog Vehicle passing the SRAM car by going around the slow ass SRAM car, taking the right lane. Usually that's a highway no-no, but this is in Indiana, so it's okay. I guess.

Other people were just sitting around waiting for the latest Twin Six shirt of the week to drop. Yeah, I think you know who you are ...

And some, I'm not saying who, Mr. Fashionista, were going through the Satorialist blog checking out all the hot babes and fashions. Aren't you taping Project Runway, too?

Watching the rain falling outside, I decided it was time for some real mud tires while you were racing ICEMAN. Say hello to my little friends called Limus. Know that I've finally got a real mudder I'm sure the rain will stop and we'll have nothing but Grass Crits from now on.

Finally, with nothing else to do, and everyone gone to the joy that is the ICEMAN, I just went out into the garage and took a look at my First Place ICEMAN medal hanging over the workbench - just like all of you are doing today. What? You didn't get one of these?