BLACK FRIDAY REPORT: RACES ON THE RADAR, RIDLEY LOVE, HATIN' ON SKINNY BIKE DUDES, AND ANOTHER QUIZ

Where will you see the Crazy Bastard Cyclocross flag flying in the next few weeks? Well read on Black Friday dropouts and rejects (hey did you get that flat screen so you can watch Adam's videos in awesome flat screen awesomeness?) Suckers ...

Get ready to make some Noize! The State Championship is coming!

State Championships are just around the corner on December 4th, and I've been getting excited emails and calls and tweets from 'cross crazy people saying they just can't wait to throw down. The push to be in top form, or just not ridiculously fat and slow will probably bring a lot of racers to the KISSCROSS Hollland Race this weekend, as well, this coming Sunday. I just love JB Hancock's report on the Holland Race from a couple of years ago, you can read it on his blog Back To Racing. It was so right on, I had to laugh ...

Remember the Holland Spiral of Death? Some people are still in there. My internal conversation when racing, I mean riding in any S.O.D. is, "so when's this f*king thing over with?"

This is JB in some of that great Holland Mud. I think his comment was, "who knew you could ride so slow?" The first year of the race it was a fantastic muddy foot race.

This will be waiting for you at the State Championship in the first week of December. Don't worry, if it's icy or dangerous, it's a no go and gets pulled. But chances are you'll be giving it a ride. The State Championship is a Tailwind Race and you'll want to check out all the categories and get yourself signed up early.

After Holland and State Championships is life over for hardcore cross fiends? Hell no, it's just getting warmed up with the BIG WOLF CX RACE in Midland on December 11. This thing was a gas last year, featuring another sweet JB course laced with a sandy beach mickey. Whether the weather will make that sand soft or hard is another question. We'll just have to see. Check out the BIG BAD WOLF site and make plans to tear it up.

NOW FOR THE EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS PART OF TODAY'S BLACK FRIDAY REPORT

I've always wanted to own a Ridley cross bike. I mean what says cross more the Ridley? Sven Nys maybe, but that's about it. While I have pined away for a Ridley X-Night for years, by stubby legs and stubby budget have prevented me from pulling the trigger and I have had to settle for a bike that's also way too good for me - probably the best bike I've ever owned. But I still wanted that Ridley brand, and the cache of riding the world's number one (perceived) cross bike.

Well this finally did it ...

After seeing Liz Hatch pimping Ridley bikes, hey I'm there. I don't give a shit if it doesn't fit my Hobbit length legs and it costs more than I can afford, I gotta one of these now. Hey, am I being hypnotized by an insidious marketing campaign? Maybe. Who cares. Yeah baby, I dig those manipulated carbon tubes.

WILL THERE BE A CRAZY BASTARD CROSS RACE NEXT YEAR?

Will a Crazy Bastard race look like this? Only if I get the prison release program working. Yeah those will be convicts standing around the course. Instead of hand-ups you'll be getting shanked, or whatever they call that. Anyway it will make you pedal faster.

Maybe. I've been scouting a location and working on securing it for next year. The tough part now will be finding a date. With 3 series now in Michigan it's going to be tough finding and open weekend. I'm hoping it will look something like this, but I think I'm still high from eating too much yesterday.

SPEAKING OF EATING TOO MUCH, DO PRO BIKE DUDES EAT ANYTHING AT ALL?

If you're a skinny bike dude should you ever take your shirt off? I'm guessing that the guy on the right is eating all the dude on the left's food for the last year or so ...

I'm going to give you a good "Schlecking" pretty boy!" Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Here's a couple of pro bike dudes (possibly Andy or Frank Schelck) pillow fighting in a swimming pool, and kicking chlorinated water at each other's ankles. I'll bet that hurts! You know, I think I'd rather be a fat, slow cyclocross dude any day than have negative body fat and pillow fight dudes in a pool. How about another beer and a Turkey Sandwich with mayo right now? Hell yeah ...

Well, we've got our own skinny dude on the team, so I shouldn't be too cruel. He races cross, and he's a real man. Until it gets real cold. Zero body fat my fat ass Slayer!

Yeah the only thing he ate that week (in Ann Arbor) was the lettering out of that pumpkin's face.

NOW FOR THE BLACK FRIDAY QUIZ: BE THE FIRST WITH THE CORRECT, OR NEARLY CORRECT* ANSWER AND WIN A FREE BEER HAND-UP AT THE NEXT RACE!

Who thought there might be sprinkles at the race so she jumped the gun and brought her own sprinkles?

Enjoy your Black Friday, get some new tires, and get ready to rock - there's plenty of race to get' done!

* If you're close to the correct answer, and I don't know what the correct answer really is, like I did in the last quiz, you still win. Yeah this isn't science, kids.