Friday, October 15, 2010


It looks nice. It was. I thought the ride would never end - and that was good.

Excuse me for posting so late, but life and work just keeping in the way of commenting on the great ride we had on Thursday so I'm giving up on doing anything else but just this. Yeah, nobody will care. So here it goes. As you can see above it was a beautiful, beautiful night for a ride. The roads were perfect, the temperatures were mild, and the riders were great. Well they were okay.

The one, the only, the JZ Jeff, Redline Bastard his-own-self.

I finally got the portrait of JZ Jeff I have always wanted. I had to put the Vampire filter on the camera since he would never show up any other way - or his reflection in mirrors. Bite me dude. Or not.

"There's air in it? Are you crazy? We don't use no air."

Inspecting bikes, chatting, talking shit, lying and lying. It's all part of bike culture isnt' it? Here Jeff discusses tire pressure and his love of squeezing turgid tubes. Nice hands dude. \ While it didn't look like a lot of riders, there were quite a few when you strung them all out in a line. I'm not about quantity, anyway. I like it when it's just your basic Bastard Group. People you can depend on. Or not depend on. They are Bastards afterall.

"Zoom-zoom. Soon I'll be leaving your behind behind. Yeah I will."

Warming up is essential to a good ride. Here Amy H is getting ready to slay a good ride. And she did. Look out this weekend - I think she has anger in her stomach, or whatever the tall skinny dork said at the TdF.

I'm HUP Noir. You're HUP Blue. We're colorfully different. Yet exactly alike. It's a beautiful HUP 'thang, ain't it?

Mix and match. I was informed that it was a "comes-as-you-are" night for the Hupsters. Team leadership informed members they could wear any color HUP kit they wanted - it didn't have to match. Yeah, they're all about the look.

Casey is laughing with me, or at me. Yeah, at me.

It was nice to have Casey join in us. He was rocking a mountain bike. It makes me just plain sick when these guys come out on those fat tires and whip our asses. You can see I'm seriously embarrassed. I have anger in my stomach, or something. Or maybe I'm just hungry.

Crazy Bob, just crazy.

What 'up Bob? Bob made the ride. I didn't get a shot of him so I'm repeating this one. It's my all time favorite shot of Bob. Yeah it's the best he ever looked, isn't it? After five years Bob finally learned how to turn on his light. He did, really he did.

We'd have a body language contest here but everybody would win and I don't have any prizes.

Big Kahuna looking big and Kahunaististist. Dont' mess me with me, he's saying with his body language. Actually he's a nice guy - it's just my effect on people. Maybe he has anger in his stomach.

Too much pre-race taco testing and it come out here ... in a hurry.

While many of us had anger in our stomach on Thursday, CD (aka Bram Versmoosh) had something like anger and hate going on in his ass. Due to some "explosive issues" halfway through what would turn out to be a near epic 40 mile jaunt in the dark, he had to turn back - he did it for all of us, okay. Thanks CD, thank you!

Smell-o-rama. Yeah get close to the screen and take a whiff. It's the new HUP fragrance for 2010. They'll all be wearing it soon.

If you don't believe me about the "explosive" ass event just put your nose up to this close-up. Yeah, it's bad. Worse than bad, HUPORRIBLE!

I feel so free! Wheeeeeeeee!

There's nothing as sexy as a HUPSTER swinging around in his skirt in a dark parking lot, is there? Yeah baby that's one hot HUPSTER.

"I say we bury the body back by the creek, next to other ones. Say you hungry? Want to stop by the HC for some Carp?"

We're not sure whether it was CD's ass, or Doez's skirt, but we attracted some some new and weird friends. These creeps, pictured above pulled up and asked, "IS THIS A NICE NEIGHBORHOOD?" You'll see our replies posted below. I think the guy in the driver's seat is looking at a map, trying to figure out the best place to bury his ex-wife.

"That was close. You guys would have saved me right? Right? RIGHT?"

After dealing with the 'NICE NEIGHBORHOOD PYSCHO-KILLERS" the Ethiopian needed a beer. Seriously, he needed a beer.

"Will you get that @##%$# camera out of my *@#$% face you #$%@ jerky-jerk-face." Killer Kubiak is a sweet woman, really she is. She'll be nicer when she sees the lovely present we have for her. One guess - it's pink!

Back at the HC, glad that we had escaped with our lives and our sweet asses intact, we found some friends finishing up dinner and drinks after a mountain bike ride. Killer Kubiak doesn't seem that glad to see me and my camera. Hmmmmm. Is it over for our Blogoshere partnership?

"Yeah, what she said. If you don't get your sad little camera out of here we are going to give you to those creepy guys waiting outside." Thanks Griff, I needed that.

Griff is telling me somthing. Without words. Yeah I would have left the building but I was afraid the creepy-creepy guys were still outside creeping around. The creeps.

Messy girls. You can only guess what their dorm rooms looked like in college. I'm going to throw-up now.

Sure the girls look nice, but they're messy. Look at that table. No wonder they didn't want to have their photos taken. Shame on you all ... what will Robin say?

Yummy-yummy, I have no anger in my tummy. The taste of carp on my lips was never so sweet. Or something.

On the other hand 'Kenzie was more than happy to give us this darling little shot. I'm thinking she really enjoyed the Deep Fried Asian Carp. Yummy.


So here's the creepy-creep questions for the night, so listen up. The prize here is that right answers mean that you keep your life. So make sure you take notes. Have your mom give you a crayon and let's go!

These guys rolled up in this sweet rockin' sedan that had a funny smell coming from the trunk and asked us: "IS THIS A NICE NEIGHBORHOOD?"

The question really is, what did they think this was a nice neighborhood for?


a. Is this a nice neighborhood to bury the body of my ex-wife where it will never be found?

b. Is this a nice neighborhood to ass-rape your skinny buddy over there. Anybody here like to squeal like a piggy?

c. Is this a nice neighborhood to pull out my AK47 and gun down a bunch of bike riding dorks drinking beer in this here parking lot?

d. Is this a nice neighborhood to hide from the voices in my head?

e. Is this a nice neighborhood to find this guy (pictured below)?

Yeah, you got it - they were looking for Bob.


  1. I did bite you Thursday night dude, twice, right after your attacks. Your head was spinning faster than the Fangos on Tom Burke’s Specialized. We may have to perform an exorcism at the HC.

    The cardio is coming back; I’ll be visiting your classroom soon.

    I liked the rerouted north route, let’s do it again…

    “Shake and Bake” on the eastside tomorrow!


  2. Dude, Great ride. It did not last forever, could have gone on and on... not sure i could after a bitch of a week. The south loop was great in the sunset. Yes Body Language is what it's all about. If your spinning cant speak for you, you need to have some really bad-ass looks to do the talking.

  3. By the way, where do you guys get the cool skirts. I need one to complete the total bad-ass look.

  4. Cardio gone, you crossers are super human… Great race and course layout by the Hupsters…

  5. Looks like you had a good race JZ. I'm not sure what shirts you are refering to Kahuna - the wool Jersey? We're thinking of another order, if you're interested.

  6. shirts = skirts = changing kilts you were close. what wool jerseys are you talking about?

  7. Shit - I can't read. I was talking about the Crazy Bastard Sweaters, somebody else was just asking about them. The skirts = kilts came from a place called Velo Press, or something like that. I don't know if they're still in business, but somebody should make them. Look for "kilts." I'll do a little search myself.

    Wonder I didn't think you were talking about SHITS.

  8. They are called Sports Kilts - I found some here -

    The want $50 bucks for these - you might find them for less. Can't remember what I paid for mine.