Friday, November 9, 2012


It's been a few years since I've raced the Derby Cup in Louisville Kentucky, but I still have my favorite Kentucky cyclocross racing kit. The embro and chamois butter that go with contain some special, secret sauce - hand made. Thanks Cupcake!

Michigan must be empty because everybody that I know that owns a bike is here. And it's just Friday night! Big Mac, Cupcake, Nancy Lange, JGood, Team Sand Bag, Mark W, JB and the usual suspects. It's not just the great cyclocross scene that brings them here, it's also the horse racing, Churchill Downs, Bourbon, fine tobacco products, Muhammed Ali Museum, Louisville Slugger Factory, The Colonel, epidemic heroin addiction, terrible drivers and great historical sites.

One of my favorite sites in Looeville is the Alamo. 

I really learned to love the Alamo for the great part it had in Pee Wee's Big Adventure. I think that's why the bike scene is so cool here. Remember the Alamo? Pee Wee did ... watch, and remember.

Wrenching in the parking lot of the BP Gas Station.

While the first thing I saw after 6.5 hours on the road when I hit Lullyville was the Alamo, the second thing were cyclocross teams working in the parking lot of the gas station and the motel where everyone from Michigan is now living ... except for a few at the Galt House Downtown. These people were from somewhere called Wisconsin or Minnesota, and there were lots of them. Look like the entire Upper Cold-Ass Midwest is empty right now.

The first thing I saw at the Eva Bandwith Park was Zinn's discarded bike.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Velonews columnist and all-round bike and long crank know-it-all Leonard "Nimoy" Zinn. He just left his bike laying around the WD40 tent like it was free for the taking - or was it? He apparently doesn't need a lock for his bike because it's so big nobody could ride it away to steal it unless they wore stilts.

After checking in at the motel the next thing to do was ride to the course for some practice - while they built the course around you. I was passed by KfC right about there. I was riding full tilt and she was on a trainer.

I don't know if pre-riding was such a good idea as some of the features of the Eva Bandsaw course really scare the shit out of me. While I can white-knuckle my way okay through most of the treacherous shit out there, the thought of blasting through it at race-pace along with a bunch of idiots, and while bonked the hell out in the last lap was not encouraging. I should have just headed straight to the bar - like the rest of the idiots from Michigan.

JGood and the rest of the Usual Suspects, all dark an suspicious looking at the "Social Club."

Number pick up was at a downtown bar that was called something like the "Sporting Social Club" which I think is western cowboy code for "whorehouse," though I have never heard of a whorehouse with a bowling alley and a bunch of skinny bike riding dorks milling around inside. Along with the good Michigan folk the place was also packed with all sort of stars from the cyclocross scene from J-Pow to Katie F*ing Compton, Adam Myerson, the Girl with the Cowbell Tattoo,  Anthony skkkkisisisisisisissdvvss up! Clark, Georgia Gould and a lot of other real small and skinny people. I didn't Ryan Trebon there, but saw him early on the course. They probably don't let him come to these things because he's so tall and they're all so short, like a bunch of jockeys, it probably makes them feel bad so he has to eat alone in his hotel room.

It's not that Ryan's so tall - it's just that everyone else is just sooooooo small. He, Zinn and Wicks should have their own club.

I'm fascinated by number pick up line lately. Wuzup wit dat?

I was the very first to pick up a number tonight - which is the last thing I'm going to be anywhere near first at this weekend.

While you're supposed to pin these on your skin suit, I think they'd make great coasters!

Final stop before sacking out - the Old Spaghetti Factory for some Old Spaghetti! 

The town is full of pro bikers. Sat down in the upstairs bar of the OSF for a quick bowl of Angel Hair and was seated next to Jake Wells and another guy that I think is either his mechanic or his burly spiritual advisor. After that I headed home to pin beer soaked numbers to my suit. I'll smell sooooo goooooood at the start line people will think they're racing against JGood. If I don't break my neck on that downhill tomorrow I'll try to kick out another race report tomorrow.

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