Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Double Your CX Pleasure and There is No On My Left

Mad Anthony 2012 started the weekend off with inside-outside fort riding fun at Historic Fort Wayne in house-on-fire and car burning Detroit.
Talk about doubling your fun! The Animal Sisters made an appearance at Mad Anthony this weekend. They've been hibernating since New Year's Resolution in Chicago.

The "Moat"was used as a part of the course. After all these years it is still claiming souls. Cupcake was almost one of them.

Mad Anthony kicked off a great weekend of racing along with second and third for the Bissell Boys in the Bs - followed by the Triplets of Bissellville later in the day - but that's another day, another blog.

Flying Bats flying up the hill on his super-lightweight cross machine. Yes that's Craig Rawlings to you, stomping up the hill in the super-tough 45+ Masters. One hour of @#$$ agony. He was joined by Triplets of Bissellville Bob Hughes and Fast Fred Bunn.

There was a large contingent of Grand Rapidians on the scene in Detroit this weekend at Mad Anthony. Here, we get the fully frosted "Cupcake" eye from Laura, who was having a fantastic race until a freak crash on the "Demon Drop" back in the moat to her out of it. Luckily she's not too badly hurt and should be back in action soon. Next to her Ellie Burke is looking at all the crap that Tom has attached to her handle-bars and wondering what it is all for. "Do I really need to be #@#$%$#ing TRAINING WITH POWER right now, Tom?" I think she said. But not really, she never said anything like that.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, isn't that sweet? Speaking of Ellie and Tom, here they are in a photo a grabbed somewhere out-of-state last week where they both had great results racing cross. They are indeed the galloping Cross-Couple of Michigan Cyclocross. At this point you usually insert the phrase - way to represent! which is totally cycle-ease I just can't do it.

Big Mac charges out of the tunnel which is one of the unique features of this fun, but novelty-style race. He's on his way to another podium. Winning, podiums week after week, he can't stop, he won't stop - who does he think he is Adam Meyerson? Just because he's still running canti's? Disc-brake denier ...

Here's a shot of Adam McIntyre and Michael Bellovich in their Bissell kits, on the podium, 2nd and third. Guess which one of the two other dudes pictured is a mountain biker. And dude, thanks for picking up Betty's poop.

Sarah McIntyre having a good race at the top of the Fort wall. Behind her you can see Detroit burning to the ground. That day, outside the Fort "compound" there were two house fires and a car fire. Just getting warmed up for the World Serious, I guess. Also in the news both Sarah and Cupcake were once again featured in the media as part of a photo story on the race in the Detroit Free Press. What a couple of media divas those two are ... you can see the story, plus a lot of great photos by Diane Weiss, right here ...

A beautiful Diane Weiss Photo from the Detroit Free Press. See of Weiss' photos here. Cupcake was on form and flying, as you can see.

Who wasn't flying? That's me down below yelling for somebody to throw down a ladder or a rope so I can get up this thing. Most people with real legs, and not the drawn-on kind I have, rode up this hump.

Ellie Burke could have ridden up it, but decided to humiliate other racers by sprinting up the hill and leave them to burn their quads in misery. One tip for Ellie in carrying the bike here - since it's a cyclocross race, and you look hot in your skin-suit, you know somebody is taking your picture so keep your head up and smiling. 

Cupcake demonstrates how you should do it if you want a good press photo. Too bad this photographer had the shakes.

To wrap up Mad Anthony, the big winner was the Road King - our own home town favorite Tom Burke who made a sweet move toward the final laps to take an impressive win over some tough customers. 

Tom Burke winning at Mad Anthony is immortalized in this beautiful image that could only be from the minds of those love-to-hate folks at The Michigan Scene. TMS has full results of this year's Mad Anthony, of the people that matter, with full translations and identities that actually make sense if you know any of these characters. Or even if you don't.


Another great shot - and it's even me - by Julie McGraw. Julie has lots of great photos of the race and more biking action. If you'd like one or yourself, or friends, check out her site at: Julie McGraw Photography and see her great stuff on Facebook. She should photos for sale up soon.

I have to say I had a great time on Sunday racing at Cascade Park. Kisscross has changed quite a bit with chip-timing, lap cards and such, but the vibe is still pretty much the same. The Cascade course was also greatly improved since the last time I raced there. The only really bad part about being away for so long, and not racing with the new guys, is that they haven't learned to stay away from me yet - but that can happen anywhere.

Queen Ann explains the rules of the cross-roads: THERE IS NO ON MY LEFT! (Or on my right, for that matter.)

Several times this year I have heard a small voice behind me saying something like: "I'm on your left!" or even more ridiculously, "I'm on your right!" To me this is like the opening of a knock-knock joke that's going to end with a punch-line that runs along the line of, "that's cool, but why don't you just go f#ck yourself? Knock-knock." My usual response had always been something like this:

a) I don't give a shit.
b) That's your problem.
c) Try it, if you think you're big enough.
d) I don't think so.
e) Go f*ck yourself.

Warning of a pass in a cyclocross race doesn't make any sense to me, unless you are passing a junior racer at a high rate of speed. If you are actually racing somebody why would you let them know you are going to try and pass them? In the past I have used this information to my advantage, and I'll bet I'm not the only one. After hearing "on your left," count to three, or until you feel something on your hip and then slam the door and listen for the sound of course tape snapping and cursing.

Being somewhat annoyed with what to do with a bunch of "on your this and that's" this year I approached Queen Anne to ask her advice about what to do and say in such situations before the Cat-4 Racers got together and took out a POA on me. As always the Queen knew just what needed to be done. It wasn't profane, threatening or any of that. In fact it was just beautifully and simply Queen Ann-like. 

"Just tell them," she said, "that there is no on my left."

This sage advice was working great until the Cascade race on Sunday when suddenly I was forced to race with Mountain bikers - and without proper immunization, I might add. On a downhill section, heading straight into a swooping left-hander I incredibly hear from behind me:

"I'm on your right."

Not being able to think clearly I said something between, "I don't give a shit," and "you must be kidding."

The dude (my tag for Mountain Bikers) stuck it in there anyway and attempted a pass on the outside of the turn, thinking that his matched set of staggered racing tires (see the video below) would bank him through the turn.

Unfortunately, unlike the NASCAR Driving Scientologist in the movie, he didn't make it through on the outside. Here's a dramatic re-enactment of how his pass ended.

Riding a nice recovery ride tonight out of the T-Park, maybe earlier than usual. Nice night, and only so many more days until the ICE MAN GOETH AWAY, so I'll bet your friends will be flying.


  1. As always another quality post by CB himself.

    Not to mention another article in Cyclocross Magazine! What are you, a writer or something?

  2. Thanks JB. A writer of typos, apparently.