Thursday, December 8, 2011

WHO'S AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD WOLF? NOT THIS LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD.


The story that I always associated the "BIG BAD WOLF" was the tale featuring "LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD" pictured above. Let me tell you I had some dreams when I was kid reading myself to sleep with that one.  Of course one of the dreams I had was that I became a famous Belgium cyclocross racer named Nys that was renowned for busting through the sand at the Big Bad Wolf in Midland with the greatest of Belgium-ease ... No way, are you crazy? Sleep, are you kidding me? As a kid I lived the life of the damned.



I guess this is the version of Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf I should have been reading as a child. I'm having my parents arrested later today. No wonder I turned out the way I did. Thanks mom, thanks, dad.

Anyway, the whole BIG BAD WOLF is blowing up, and this is the second year for the race in Midland. It was a gas last year, and I'm sure it will be this year.



This year the Big Bad Wolf is part of the Stomach Of Anger Series. You can check out all the races here.  I expect more CX races in the series (Ithaca, along with this year's Mad Anthony, Red Zone and two Stomach of Anger Races in Lansing - but there isn't a schedule yet) next year. 

Series winners this year will get one of these, which look pretty awesome, thanks to the Stomach Of Anger Designers, the same fine folks that bring you all that sweet Stomach of Anger wear. 

I think Cupcake has her Series Championship all wrapped up and will be there to claim it after a victory lap or two. A few other Bastards are on the brink of winning their series, but nothing is in the bag yet. Anyway, I think it would be pretty nice to rock one of these bad boys, ya think?



The Big Bad Wolf Cyclocross race has become so popular in just the last two years that Hollywood has jumped on the Big Bad Wolfwagon and has made a major motion picture about it - of course the Wolf is getting second billing to Little Red Riding Hood, 'cause his little Wolf tits aren't as hot as the girl's.


 

Yeah, Beware The Wolf, but all they show you in the damn promotional poster is a hot Little Red Riding Hood standing there giving you that "come 'hither and eat me," look. Yikes I'm reliving my youth, all  over again (Yogism) just looking at this stuff.

Here are some scenes from the movie ...


It starts out with some slutty Little Red Riding Hood impostors getting eaten early-and-often in the first reel ... hey somebody's got to go, and it ain't gonna be the main characters until the popcorn's gone.


In the middle of this new-age politically-correct version of the tale, in true Hollywood fashion, the real Little Red Riding Hood, a full-fledged PETA member, falls for the Wolf and does a few things with it that - well I felt bad for the Wolf, actually.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE RACE?

Okay, okay, so after all this crap and blathering are you still ready for the Big Bad Wolf this coming Sunday? If you are, just go here for all the race, registration, categories, start times and directional information you'll need to make it happen.

Here's a lap of last year's Big Bad Wolf, just to give you an idea of what the course is like. Whatever the weather I'm sure JB will dial up another great course (Ithaca GP, Red Zone 2011 remember? Yeah JB's courses never disappoint).


Here's another BIG BAD WOLF story and video, if you haven't had enough BIG BAD WOLF shit, and it is definitely NSFW (Not Safe For Work!) so open with extreme caution!



AFTER-RACE PARTY

After the BIG BAD WOLF race we're all going to make it to the sponsoring Midland Brewing Company for a little end of the series, end of the season get-to-together-and-let's-all-lie-to-each-other-about-how-cool we are kind of bike racer parties. They are expecting us, so it ought to be fun.

Hopefully nobody will have "Big Bad Wolf" syndrome as shown in the disgusting video above. Here are directions  to get there, but I'm sure somebody will help to direct you to the Midland Brewing company - it's only a few minutes from the race, so make plans to hang out a little longer. But don't hang-out like they do in the video ... or you will be shunned, or something, or make some new friends you've never considered before.

NEWS FLASH: AREA TOP CYCLOCROSS RACER SEEN JUMPING EATING THE SHARK!



While he should be training hard for the upcoming Big Bad Wolf race this weekend, Big Mac was seen eating a massive dessert at a local restaurant. A kind and thoughtful follower of this blog (snitch) sent me this incriminating shot of Mac digging into what is called "The Sugha Shark."


The Shark, indeed. If you consider this "carb-loading" Mac, I've got some bad news for you ..."


Hey, pack your 'cross crap up and all those damn bikes, scrape off the mud from last week and let's roll. It's time for one last Michigan Cyclocross race this year, LET'S GO! See you Bastard in Midland.

6 comments:

  1. Wow Surly, one of your best yet!

    Lots of pressure now to make good courses...but that's ok I have a fun one planned for Sunday.

    Bring your file treads - they're the ticket out there.

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  2. I'm sure that will be no problem for you JB. Looking forward to it (as you can see).

    Forgot to post that I'm planning on riding out of Townsend tonight. Should roll at 6 - 6:05. I'm rocking the SS tonight. One last easy ride before the race this weekend. See ya!

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  3. SB

    Are you coming out with your bag of brains tonight?

    If you happen to win one of those s.o.a. jackets, don't go outside with it on, you'll get your ass kicked. And then I'll never be able to collect that beer you owe me.

    R

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  4. I will be coming, but nearly brainless I'm afraid. Some of the Brains have been redeemed by their owners, some I sold because the price was too, too good to pass up.

    The mountain biker brains took top dollar out of the whole lot.

    Why you ask?

    Because they have never been used.

    Let me know who will be kicking my ass. They will need to get in line because right now the list that wants to kick my as is pretty f*king long.

    But thanks for the heads up. You're a pal.

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  5. If it's muddy again and your skinsuit starts saggin... this may be a more appropriate mix of BBW.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAHpqpqQBio

    ReplyDelete