Imagine my surprise, revulsion, horror, and confusion when I saw this staring back at me from The Michigan Scene Blog! My first thought was total disgust, and I threw-up in my mouth. The next thought was, nice ass dude, or whatever you are! What's your number? That MS chick is some kinda evil genius, isn't she?
I don't know whether it's the pressure of the State Championships in a few days ('come on man this isn't World's is it?) the weather, or all that shitty half-off cheap wine I drank last night, but the Michigan Cyclocross World (not to be confused with Cyclocross World) is taking some strange twists and turns as we approach "C" day on Sunday. Like the strange photo above. (Keep checking in on The Michigan Scene, it's on fire - that Russian looking chick is putting up like four blogs a day featuring everybody from Gary Coleman to Mr. T!)
Look what MIS has done to our good friend, and Champion cyclocross Michael "The Whiz"Wissink. Yeah I can see the Whiz hangin' at the park and blowin' off the day.
Of course my favorite TMS disfiguration has to John Osgood as Obi Wan Krossobi. See he's winking at you with all that cross knowledge and Pabst stored up in his big brain.
And when you thought it couldn't getting any weirder - they turned Brian Hancock into a tatted up chick. Oh Brian what have they done to you?
And Marne Smiley as a monster? No that's just too cruel ...
This has to be somewhere in Orgegon, ya think? I can't wait for the second season of Portlandia, can you?
But it isn't just happening here in Michigan. It's everywhere! Just look at this cyclocross race that turned into a wild orgy in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah don't go for the dollar grab from her ass with your hand dude, use your mouth.This would never happen in Michigan. Well maybe this weekend the worm will turn. Lets hope! Or not hope, I mean.
To dial up the weirdness a couple of notches we are asking a few Mchigan Based teams to switch over to new uniforms for the State Championship. You know, like the "Combat Uniforms" at that MSU donned for the Michigan game. Or all those f*ckin goofy outfits that the Oregon Ducks wear every week. Thank God for Nike, huh? Or College football would be boring and not worth watching anymore.
Here's the new skin suit. We'll paint on your team name where the Diamondback is. The paint is mixed with embrocation so you'll be hot. Maybe not this hot, but hot. I can see Joe Brown in this, can't you?
This is the new "Easy-Mount" uniform just in from Paris. Never again will saggy, wet cycling shorts or the droopy but of your skinsuit snag on the remount. Those heel "spikes" are also good in the mud, we hear.
"Yeah put me back on my bike," indeed. Could this be what really did Tom in on that climb?
Here's just a look at the the "Easy Mount" suit on the way up some famous hill. You see the hill, right?
"This sponsor logo is really starting to tickle me right here."
Well I'm getting the paint brushes out right now and going to work. I'm just a little worried about applying the embro-paint on the shorts sections. Any suggestions?
Remember the last time I was slathering on about a Ridley, when I have a perfectly great bike(s) right now. I think that was exaccerbated by this photo of Liz Hatch, below.
Well things have gotten worse, after seeing this ... there just seems to be too much Ridley love in the world, doesn't there? Maybe it's the freaking tall head tubes ...
Hey you, b*tch! Whatcha doin' in bed with MY SWEET RIDLEY? Get up, get dressed, get out!
Finally a nice video of the Wednesday Worlds from Colorado, on the Mud and Cowbells site, where everyone, apparently, rides a Ridley. I think they must mine them out of the ground. Well enjoy, the video, and note how they have a course laid out without any stakes or markers. I think they just designate areas where you hope off the bike, and then back on. Tell me what you think. Maybe you can tell me at the ride tonight. See ya!