Friday, December 2, 2011

IT'S A KINDER GENTLER CRAZY BASTARD DAY TODAY



I know you're over-excited (See THE MICHIGAN SCENE) about racing at the State Championship's this Sunday, but now's the time to settle down and keep calm. All you've got to do is PUT A BIRD ON IT!

Now, after all the weirdness and craziness of the last few days (my apologies for the frightening images yesterday) it's time to sit back, and take a deep breath before the shit totally hits the fan. You know, it's like when you roll up to the line, squeeze the brakes a few time and take that deep breath, let it go, and try to get your heart under control and focus for that explosive moment when the whistle blows. What I'm thinking is that you need to take all this goofiness and wild-ass shit from the past week (look it up on Wikepedia under John Osgood) and put a bird on it. Kind of like this:


By putting a bird on it, you'll have a little bit more control, and maybe you won't crash your ass out in the first turn like I did two years ago at State's and at Mad Anthony just this year. It's what I like to call Michael Andretti syndrome - you know,  you put your foot to the floor, pop the clutch and then bury the nose of that bitch in the very first turn of the race course - and then spend the rest of the day chasing back, or just riding around thinking about what would be good for lunch.


Here's what happens when you don't put a bird on it from the start. This guy DID NOT put a bird on it and didn't make the first turn and went over the edge and into the dump. The bird is saying: you should have put a bird on this piece of shit earlier, pal.


Here's Mike Seaman's rear doo-hicky after the Holland Race. Yeah he definitely could have put a bird on this piece-of-once-expensive-ceramic-bearing-now-piece-of-junk.


See the pretty bird on this wheel? Isn't that nice? It's ready to roll. He just straightened it with his little claws before the glue dried (its a tubular right?). And just in time for the race at Davisblurg. Bet this guy won't get a pinch flat or roll his tire - ever!


Look there was a bird on this bike, just a moment ago, and now it's as light as a feather. Isn't that nice? Should be no problem to huck that bugger up the Orange Crush on Sunday.


Matter of fact, here's the new BISSELL kit that I'll be wearing on Sunday. Yeah we're totally putting a bird on it.


As you can see the craze it really taking offeven in the fashion world - and I haven't even put this post up yet! Here's a bike with a bird on a beautiful top that this headless-lady is wearing. All it needs is a Stomach Of Anger logo on it to make it really rock.

NOW THAT WE'VE PUT A BIRD ON IT, WE'RE READY TO PACK UP AND GO RACING!


Joint venture in race preparation and confusion - Big Mac and Surly join forces in hauling crap to a race.

How much crap can you take to a race? This much, and much more, apparently. At the time this photo was taken all the bikes were out either on course or warming up. It take days to pack up this much crap - matter of fact the unpacking and packing almost run into each other and cross paths a some point. But where do the bikes go when this crap is stuffed inside the vehicles?


On those outside of course! See some of you, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

ONE LAST THING: LAST NIGHT'S RIDE REPORT!

Big ride last night - great weather and a brisk but not brutal pace. Bob, Julie, Vlad, Steve B, Tara J, guys on Fat Bikes, Flying Bats and more were all there for the fun and festivities. What a great fall for riding! 

2 comments:

  1. Trying a new background. What do you Bastards think? I had no idea when I went with the flames that TMS was using it. They had it first, I think, so time for our own. Let's hear it on the flag ... also some mud shots. Or maybe we should go seasonal? Other than that, nothing's changed. Too bad, huh.

    ReplyDelete