Wednesday, July 6, 2011

HOW I MISSPENT MY SUMMER-BASTARD VACATION

It seem like forever since the last posting. I wish that I could say that I was busy training for the Tour de France, or the Tour de West Side, but I was just working and getting fat behind the computer. Boo-hoo, huh.

While I may have been chained to the computer, I wasn't totally sequestered, and news about the outside world did reach the Bastard Cave-HQ, and so I have some knowledge of what has been happening out there among those still living the "Life."

Oh man, what is there about a TT that doesn't hurt?

I missed more races and TT than ever this year. The question is have I really missed them. Above check out this classic shot of our good friend Tom Link on the line grimacing in expectation of the pain to come - or is it something else? Hey where is that guy's hand?

At least he's in good company ... I guess. This guy looks like he's enjoying Cippo's hand.

Tom Burke - Married Man. And cruise director, apparently.

The other big news in our cycling community has to be the marriage of Tom Burke and Ellie this spring. It looks like "Cruise Director" Tom is approaching married life the same way he approaches cycling training: systematically and scientifically. "Clipboard. Check. Whistle. Check. Stopwatch. Check. Now let's get this marriage in shape!" 

Unfortunately things don't always go according to plan, Tom.

While Tom may think he's laying out a training plan for the marriage to come, he may be in for a big surprise. Yeah it's not a race season Tom, it is a marriage, and you have to duck occassionally since you have decided to marry a woman. I'd go easy on the whistle from the looks of this gal. Congratulations you two lovely kids!

While I may not have been TTing, Road Racing much, or getting married, I have been doing a few mountain bike rides. Below are some photos of a recent adventure where I tried to kill Betty and Cupcake in one short loop of the game area.

Cupcake on a Bastard-style mountain bike adventure

A little crash damage. Thanks for the bike Surly. It sucks.

Cupcake spent so much time in the woods that trees were beginning to grow out of her shoes.

I have made it out to Grattan a few times. Sure people were glad to see me. Yeah they were. Miss those Surly rants, did ya? Well there's always something different out on the track. Just check this out - a man completely encased in performance compression clothing. It's a wonder he can breath, or walk.

 Fast Freddy in full compression mode. Why is he smiling? Doesn't that hurt being squeezed all over?

 Everywhere you look, a Swanzy could be looking back at you.

While I may not have been riding much, I have been eating quite well, and have quaffed a few glasses of fairly good but inexpensive wine in the process. Stopping by Grill 1111111 in Rockford I have had the opportunity to mingle with the S&M Team, who uses Grill 111111111111 for team headquarters.

 An S&M Manager tests a performance enhancing energy drink. Yeah, I like Sangria flavoring too.

The winner! Honey your trophy is so huge!

The Best thing about the Team S&M style is that you can actually win races while eating and drinking in the bar. These are my kind of cyclists! If I didn't have a great team, along with 8 million dollars worth of team kit, I'd join up, fill my water bottle with Sangria, and sprint for appetizers.

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