Friday, November 19, 2010


Here's what Tuesday Night's after ride dinner looked like. Last night there were far fewer "Indians" at the table.

Here's what it was like (sort-of-kind-of):

Ten Little Indians

Ten Little Indians going out to dine; One went and choked his little self and then there were nine.

Nine Little Indian Boys sat up very late; One overslept himself and then there were eight.

Eight Little Indian Boys traveling to Devon; One got left behind and then there were seven.

Seven Little Indian boys playing with a hive; A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.

Five Little Indian boys going in for law; One got in chancery and then there were four.

Four Little Indian boys going out to sea; A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.

Three Little Indian boys walking to the zoo; A big bear hugged one and then there were two.

Two Little Indian boys playing with a gun; One shot the other and then there was one.

One little Indian boy left all alone; He went and hanged himself ...and then there were none.

While thankfully there were no actual fatalities in last night's ride, as there are in the poem above, the ride did resemble this "very weird" poem, in that we continually kept losing riders as the ride progressed through the evening.

Yes, the little boys and riders got picked off one-by-one - in the movie and on the ride.

Above is a photo from the movie based on the Agatha Christie book, and film. In the movie, as each of the characters gets "killed-off" another statue is snapped off this snappy looking center piece. I'm thinking of super-gluing cycling figurines on my handle-bars and snapping one off everytime somebody heads back earlier, has a mechanical, or just disappears in the woods. Yeah, it was scary out there last night.

If you're really intrigued about the Ten Little Indians, here's the book. I recently saw the movie based on it, and let me tell you it really sucked.

This is a group shot from Tuesday. Last night's ride started out with about the same number of people ... but then ...
Here's the first of our Little Indians. Guess who? Possibly the most photographed woman in Crazy Bastard blog history.

Heather turned back - not feeling it. She wasn't alone. I wanted to leave, but for some reason I hung on until the end but don't have a good reason why. If I had known you were going, I would have gone with you! Let me know next time!

No he didn't turn back. Good to see Mike V, back where he belongs.

We had a number of old faces back in the group last night. Mike V for one, Bob S for another. Other members of the group included Dave Stebbins, MacKenzie, hammering her new bike and gear set up, JZ Jeff Redline Bastard (his chain dissovled and then he was gone near the end of the ride - hope you limped home okay JZ) Werdy, who turned back at near the end as well, wanting to make sure they didn't run out of carp at the HC, I suppose) Craig, Matt G, Tom Scott (where the hell did you go Tom?) and some others that I believe were eaten by coyotes along the way.

Bob S - practically glowing. Nice to see you Bob! Bob's group should be starting up their rides in the near future - so Bob will no longer have to slum it with us Bastards. Can't blame you Bob, we suck.

Here's Chuck's new bike - yeah he has another new bike. This one is made out of edible Swiss Cheese (BMC). You can see hungry Chuck has already taken a chunk out between the seat-tube and the top tube. I must say it look delicious!

Talk about delicious! Who order the Fried Asian Carp? The ride is all about the eating. We Bastards love our food. Especially our carp ... dig in you bottom feeders .. and enjoy.

A Polish gal having a Polish Sausage. What could be more Polish?

Yummy sausage goodess. And kraut!

Craig digs into something that has digging-in slathered all over it.

Hey Craig, don't let your meat - loaf! Good Lord, didn't your mother tell you to never eat anything bigger than your head? That think is meat-loaf-enormous, dude.

So here's how it always ends up. A pile of chewed bones. I'm hoping that this isn't what those dudes we left out there look like ...

Good luck to everybody racing this weekend! See you next week.


  1. This indian was still laying in a ditch with some big nasty dog chewing on my led. Hey next time you guys go flying by, please get the dog off and drag me hone! I think my wife may start to get worried!

  2. I had a bad case of vertigo right off the starting block....starting off in pitch blackness was a little wierd. I cant come back til there is snow on the ground to help light my way.