Monday, September 6, 2010


While many of you were out doing Epic rides in the face of 50 mile an hour winds and sub-zero temperatures, I spent a lovely - well almost lovely Sunday - riding with good looking women in good looking weather. Below is the lovely Connie, from the lovely Real Women Tri Team, waiting for her sister, the well-known star of time trials and cross, Amy, to return with the shoes she forgot to bring. The sisters (I seem to be on a real sister thing lately) could not figure out why I was there, and how I knew they were riding out of the usual Townsend launch site on a Sunday afternoon. They were probably also wondering how they could get rid of me.

The back story to my being there was this: just as I was about to take the mountain bike and "Betty" out for a spin I received a text from the lovely Laura M (well known road racing and cross star from the Priority Health Team) asking if I was "going to ride some dirt today." Liking the look of the words "going to ride some dirt today" I threw a cross bike in next to the mountain bike to attempt a "dirty-double" on a Sunday afternoon.

Here we are rolling out together. Laura and I turned up north, on dirt roads, not pictured here, hunting the Killer Chihuahua, who was nowhere to be seen. He took the Labor Day Holiday off I guess. After 30 miles of dirt road riding we reloaded, changed bikes and took our mountain bikes (and dog) to the Game Area for the second part of the "dirty-double".

Things were going well on the mountain bikes at first, trails were clear and packed, with hardly anyone else riding, when I "cased" a rooted climb and landed junk-first on juncture of the stem and steerer column. Let me tell you: that hurt.

It felt a lot like this looks ...

Or this ...

And a lot like this ...

The worst part was explaining the injury when you're riding with a woman. What do you say while you're writhing around on the ground?

(a) I've bruised my testicles.
(b) I've damaged my junk.
(c) I've whacked my balls.
(d) I've crushed the family jewels.
(e) I've bumped my un-meantionables.
(f) Excuse me, I seem to have scrambled my reproductive organs.

It's doubly hard to think of what to say when you're laying there seeing stars while a woman is staring down at you. I think I reverted to something I would have said in the third grade and added the "seeing stars" note. The blank look on my companion's face was a big question mark, none-the-less. I mean what could she be thinking? Like "what do you want me to do, put a slint on them/it?"

Thankfully the pain receded and we rode on. We were all pretty gassed after "riding all that dirt" but none more so than the other lovely female that had joined us for the ride, Betty.

While Laura seems to be fresh enough for another loop, Betty is showing us her "Cross Tongue" which indicated she's not and is ready for some drinking.

Great ride ladies! But I gotta tell ya, that hurts ...

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