Friday, August 3, 2012


To Scott Walburn the only "Good Varmit is a Dead Varmit," apparently. If you had been on the Crazy Bastard Ride last night, you'd know why. Here is Scott confronting his enemy (in his mind).

If only I had GoPro on my bike last night to capture the Varmit-Carnage that went down on the Killer Chihuahua Mile l. After almost being taken out by "Killer" while leading out that section,  I had a ring-side seat for one of the most amazing things I've ever seen on the bike.

Not only could I have used a GoPro at this point, but I could have used a audio recording device as well. Had I an open mic I could have picked up what Scott was saying just before impact, which sounded just like this

Scott showed us how big the Varmit was that he ran over - as well as indicating how much crap he'd get from his wife if he had come home all scabbed up from hitting a Woodchuck, or whatever that thing was.

Yup, according to Scott, he smelled varmit poontang, and to him, the only good varmit poontang, is dead varmit poontang. He hit the varmit at a full 30-mph, running over it with his front wheel and managing to wrestle the front end around and keep it upright with an awesome show of mad bike handling skillz. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the varmit wasn't able to keep it upright after the collision. 

It seems that while I was up the night before gluing tubulars, Scott was planning on getting his "Varmit" on. Tubular glue, or Plastic Explosive, it's all part of the Crazy Bastard's tool kit. The above video is what Scott was doing the night before the Thursday night Crazy Bastard ride.

A concerned neighbor was glad to hear about the Varmit's demise. "Dang, there's two of them critters and I 'bin trying to shoot them all summah. An you sayin' you kilt 'em with a dang bicycle? Dang! Every time ah shoot, ah miss, hit the ground and this black stuff comes bubblin' up ..."

Clearly shaken, Scott pulled up at the Stop Sign to collect himself. A neighbor came out to see what all the shouting was about I told him that a member of our "Gang" had "offed" one of the local varmits. He wanted to come in and drink a toast to our kill, but I declined after seeing the chainsaw and leather mask on the front porch ...

The varmit, I'm afraid he didn't make. I did ride back to see what was left. Sadly and bravely, he rose up one final time before going to Varmit Vahalla. Here's what he looked like, standing on his legs for the very last time.

Hopefully this will be the last time we see this dangerous Varmit on the road.

Have a good and safe riding this weekend. And look out for the Varmits!

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