Tuesday, March 20, 2012

RIDING THE DIRT ROADS, ROADS, TRAILS OR RUNNING FROM BLACK HELICOPTERS

Dramatic changes in the season effect the habits (and mindset) of dogs and cyclists. What do I do now? Zone 1 or 3? Intervals or miles? Couch or bark at the window. Think I'll do some more junk miles and lay on the couch.

Well times are a changing. We've not only did the "spring forward" with our clocks, we've also done it with our seasons and the weather and have jumped from mid-March to the beginning of July just like that. As a result my dog doesn't know what to do with herself. She doesn't know if it's summer, spring, summer's over and it's time to go hunting or what. Also, many cyclists are confused as well. The road races have no idea what to do - as in what zone to ride in. Do they need miles or sprint intervals? Also, should we continue dirt road rides? Or abandon the winter ride practice in favor of small tires for the road, or the fatter tire for the trail.

While photos of superstar German mountain bikers like Hanna Klein may give you an urge to "jump on that fat tire" it could be too early for you to get out there an shag those trails.

 Yeah, hit that unexpected wet spot and what have you got? A knot on your head.

There are also many dangers lurking on trails that haven't been cleared by the local trail-clearing organizations. Like this giant snake stuck in the guy's fork. Wheel suck? No, snake suck ...

Road riding in weather that's out of character also has its dangers. There are a lot of "sudden" distractions out there, so look out!

Urban rides can also be a lot of fun. Like the time we rolled into the Chicken dance. Woot! Woot!

Unfortunately, ride around town long enough, say during Saint Patrick's day downtown and there's a good chance you're going to see stuff like this. 

Yes, Betty has located a box of hammers with her inquisitive nose. Usually I'd equate this to a Mountain Bike Box of Brains but this year it's cutting across all riding categories.

Lately, whether it has been on the road, dirt, or city streets the skills and thoughtfulness of a small percentage of riders I've been rolling I'd have to equate to a "box of hammers." I'd say you know who you are, but I'm thinking that you don't know who you are by the way you ride.

Well it's still a relatively free country, and until the Black Helicopters drop ropes in the backyard we're all free to choose what kind of riding we want to do. Or even how stupidly we want to ride. Oh wait, Slayer just called and the BLACK HELICOPTERS ARE ON THEIR WAY! Guess we're all rolling dirt tonight.

Here's a quick water color I just brushed up of the Black Helicopters circling the house. I changed the color of the house to yellow (that's how I'm feeling) and put the garage on the wrong side (the warm weather has me all turned around), but what the hell, it's over anyway.

Here's the poster that Slayer has nailed to the wall over his bed. Just so he doesn't ever forget that they're coming. And I guess they are ...

In honor of the Black Helicopters coming, I'm whipping my hair into a Black Helicopter "Doo" like this one, which will act as a helmet. I'm just thinking I'm a little short on hair, but will have it ready for tonight. I can stick the headlamp in the front, pretty easy.

Black Helicopters or not, tonight I'm going to choose to roll out of Townsend Park a little after 6 for nice long, but casual ride. We may not need lights, and we should have some (lights) on hand, in case we need them. For the Barry Ruby Taper-mongers, this should be good. Let us know if you're coming. Or not.

2 comments:

  1. Lock and Load Bitches, The Black Choppers are cum-min. Slayer

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  2. Knew you'd appreciate that one Slayer. Where you been? I know you're out of the Slayer cave ... I'm gettin' reports of super-Slayer form this year.

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