WEATHER FORECAST FOR TOMORROW'S STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS: 80% CHANCE OF AWESOME

This is where I get all my weather information. Unfortunately I have no idea what the f*cks she's talking about. And frankly, I don't care.

Could tomorrow bring deep, dark chocolate mud tomorrow? Looks yummy. Better start spraying the PAM on my shoes now.

Or maybe, will it be soupy milk chocolate mud? That's going to look good on the white skinsuit, for sure. Better start spraying the PAM on the bike now.

My bet is whether it starts out as snow, or stays with rain, we might see something that looks like any of the above  flavors of mud. I'm just wondering  if the ground at the fairgrounds will soften up this much or if we'll be on top of it, slithering around.

No matter what, I think I'm going to be rolling these bad boys tomorrow. They may not be Rhinos, but they're close enough for me.

I don't know what it's doing in Davisburg right now, but the rain is coming down here. While I've done a few State Championship in snow up to my ears,  but I don't know if I remember one with much more than just a little muddy slop on top. Could this be the year  where the worm turns (up)?

Maybe JB will be able to pull out his mad-mud skillz from Holland last week (this photo a couple of years old), and slay it.

Or will we be just seeing a lot of this from the girls and the boys.

Maybe the women's muddy soccer team be there to roll around on the goooey ground? It's like the half-time entertainment, right?

Maybe if there is snow, and lots of it, The Farmer will show up with his Fat Bike. Here's the Fat Bike on mud. Um, yeah I don't think so. Would that thing even be legal? Maybe - if you're talking 33 inches around on those tires.

If it's really crappy, what will become of the Orange Crush? What will be waiting for you at the bottom of that ramp?

Maybe this? (Yeah glad I didn't clip in after all.)

Will this guy show up to claim his reward for a season of great racing? You know who I mean ...

Time to start playing the Reign of Blood tune, Slayer.

THERE'S ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS ALL

Osi Good Kross-Kanobi knows a lot when it comes to 'cross, but does he know what tomorrow will bring?

There's only one person who knows all the answers to all these questions for sure. And that person is Osi Good Kanobi? Close, but not quite ....

Is it Genius Sleeping Sherpa Dog? Does she know what will be? Nope ...

Does Twisted-Naked Pretzel Lady know? I don't think so, but it's worth asking.

The Cyclocross Chef of Knowledge knows all, deep fries all.

No, the only one who knows for sure is the Cyclocross Chef of Knowledge. His Magic Tongs of Knowing tell him the forecast for tomorrow is 100% CHANCE OF AWESOME!

See you there under the Crazy Bastard Cross Flag of poor taste and bad decisions. Be there!

TIME TO VOTE FOR A NEW MBRA DIRECTOR: KIM KORDECKI

Open: MBRA EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR - this is the overall director position and all areas of running the MBRA fall under this position.  The full five member MBRA Board (Exec Director, VP, Director of Officials, Director of Jrs Racing, Director of Womens Racing) also oversees the MBRA business. This position was formerly held by Joe Lekovish.

While I try to keep this blog free of politics and good taste, there's a time when you just have to break the rules. Even if you don't have any rules. This year the MBRA will be electing a new MBRA Director, as Joe Lekovish steps down (more about that guy later.) Here at Crazy Bastards headquarters our choice for MBRA Director is Kim Kordecki. 

Vote Kim Kordecki (she's in the green coat) before the December 6th deadline to be your new MBRA Director. Or you'll have to answer to Betty.

I'm sure just about everyone in the Michigan Cycling community knows Kim, and has probably raced in or ridden in one of the many races or cycling events she has organized, helped organized, or directed over the past decade. These cycling events would include the Rockford Criterium, Michigan State Championship Criterium-Tour de Gas Light, Grand Cycling Classic-U.S. National Criterium Championship, local cross races, the weekly Grand Rapids Time-Trial, the 100 Grand, Colorburst, and even a month of the Grattan Series, just to mention a few.

I think her experience as a race organizer will be a great benefit to the position, and understanding the needs of Race Directors, and racers. I think she would be able to keep the momentum that Joe Lekovish (more about that guy later) has created for the cycling race scene, here in Michigan, going strong.

If there had been more lead time before the election, (actually there was but I was too lazy to do anything) I was planning on making some shirts like this - only with Vote For Kim on it. But since voting ends on December 6th, and is limited to MBRA Board Members, and Officials, and Team Race Directors, I canned the idea. Another reason I'll never hold any kind of political office. Yes, you can sleep soundly knowing  that will never happen.


WHAT ABOUT JOE LEKOVISH? HE WAS A GREAT MBRA DIRECTOR. HE REALLY WAS. NO KIDDING!


I think it's safe to say that things really turned around under the directorship of Joe Lekovish. The race calendar blossomed with new and exciting races, and his energy was really felt through the race scene, here in Michigan. As we vote in a new director I  think we really owe Joe a round of applause for all the hard work he's done - and all the bitching he's had to listen to over the years. Well done Joe - now for a little trip down Joe's Memory Lane.

Here's Joe in the "Golden Oldie" Sunrise Sports team kit. Note that he has a very  pained look on his face as he chases a very fast Scott Chambers over the barriers.

Here's Joe, again with the pained look, racing 'cross in the moonlight. The kit is newer.

 Here's Joe lining us up at the new SOA race in Lansing. No longer a pained look on his face, I think he was actually laughing at us - I mean me.

Here's a Mad Anthony start with just a few racers at the line ... I think Joe's in yellow, just about to get run down.  This race drew more racers than any other cyclocross race in Michigan (200+) this year - maybe the most at a Michigan cyclocross race ever? Joe has had a lot to do with making this race a big success. I'm guessing it will be an even bigger draw next year.

Enough about Joe and cyclocross racing. He's a road racer as well. And how did his road racing workout for him? The photo above tells you something about it.

Here's Joe sitting in (in green kit) waiting to make his move ...

This is Mobile MC Joe. Like the Budmen plate and paint job. It's how he rolls.

While I don't have a nice headshot of Joe, this is close enough and kind of looks like Joe in a weird sort of way. Yeah it could be him. Thanks for the hard work Joe! You can trim those 'burns now. Job well done.

See what I mean? Just like him.

THE MBRA DETAILS (if you care, and if you're an official or a race director or Michigan Cycling Club Director, you should, I guess):

The MBRA Annual Meeting will be held on Saturday, December 10th in East Lansing at the Kellogg Center in the Michigamme Room (same location as in 2010) on the Michigan State University campus.

http://www.kelloggcenter.com/

9am - 11am Officials Meeting (Open to licensed USAC Officials only)

1pm - 4 pm Promoters Meeting

4pm-5pm General/Jrs Racing/Womens Racing Meeting 

This is a change from the date that was informally communicated earlier in the year.  Our appologies for the delay and late notice.

This meeting is primarily for USAC road race event promoters, but the meeting is open to all interested individuals.

The #1 objective is to finalize the 2012 race calendar.

The #2 objective is to finalize open positions for 2012

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WERE EVER ELECTED AS THE KING OF THE MBRA?

The first thing I would do is make a new flag for the MBRA: this would be it.

Aren't you glad I'm unelectable?

Vote for Kim before December 6th!

IT'S A KINDER GENTLER CRAZY BASTARD DAY TODAY

I know you're over-excited (See THE MICHIGAN SCENE) about racing at the State Championship's this Sunday, but now's the time to settle down and keep calm. All you've got to do is PUT A BIRD ON IT!

Now, after all the weirdness and craziness of the last few days (my apologies for the frightening images yesterday) it's time to sit back, and take a deep breath before the shit totally hits the fan. You know, it's like when you roll up to the line, squeeze the brakes a few time and take that deep breath, let it go, and try to get your heart under control and focus for that explosive moment when the whistle blows. What I'm thinking is that you need to take all this goofiness and wild-ass shit from the past week (look it up on Wikepedia under John Osgood) and put a bird on it. Kind of like this:

By putting a bird on it, you'll have a little bit more control, and maybe you won't crash your ass out in the first turn like I did two years ago at State's and at Mad Anthony just this year. It's what I like to call Michael Andretti syndrome - you know,  you put your foot to the floor, pop the clutch and then bury the nose of that bitch in the very first turn of the race course - and then spend the rest of the day chasing back, or just riding around thinking about what would be good for lunch.

Here's what happens when you don't put a bird on it from the start. This guy DID NOT put a bird on it and didn't make the first turn and went over the edge and into the dump. The bird is saying: you should have put a bird on this piece of shit earlier, pal.

Here's Mike Seaman's rear doo-hicky after the Holland Race. Yeah he definitely could have put a bird on this piece-of-once-expensive-ceramic-bearing-now-piece-of-junk.

See the pretty bird on this wheel? Isn't that nice? It's ready to roll. He just straightened it with his little claws before the glue dried (its a tubular right?). And just in time for the race at Davisblurg. Bet this guy won't get a pinch flat or roll his tire - ever!

Look there was a bird on this bike, just a moment ago, and now it's as light as a feather. Isn't that nice? Should be no problem to huck that bugger up the Orange Crush on Sunday.

Matter of fact, here's the new BISSELL kit that I'll be wearing on Sunday. Yeah we're totally putting a bird on it.

As you can see the craze it really taking offeven in the fashion world - and I haven't even put this post up yet! Here's a bike with a bird on a beautiful top that this headless-lady is wearing. All it needs is a Stomach Of Anger logo on it to make it really rock.

NOW THAT WE'VE PUT A BIRD ON IT, WE'RE READY TO PACK UP AND GO RACING!

Joint venture in race preparation and confusion - Big Mac and Surly join forces in hauling crap to a race.

How much crap can you take to a race? This much, and much more, apparently. At the time this photo was taken all the bikes were out either on course or warming up. It take days to pack up this much crap - matter of fact the unpacking and packing almost run into each other and cross paths a some point. But where do the bikes go when this crap is stuffed inside the vehicles?

On those outside of course! See some of you, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

ONE LAST THING: LAST NIGHT'S RIDE REPORT!

Big ride last night - great weather and a brisk but not brutal pace. Bob, Julie, Vlad, Steve B, Tara J, guys on Fat Bikes, Flying Bats and more were all there for the fun and festivities. What a great fall for riding! 

THE WEIRD JUST KEEP GETTING WEIRDER - THE ROAD TO DAVISBLURG TAKES SOME STRANGE TURNS

Imagine my surprise, revulsion, horror, and confusion when I saw this staring back at me from The Michigan Scene Blog! My first thought was total disgust, and I threw-up in my mouth. The next thought was, nice ass dude, or whatever you are! What's your number? That MS chick is some kinda evil genius, isn't she?

I don't know whether it's the pressure of the State Championships in a few days ('come on man this isn't World's is it?) the weather, or all that shitty half-off cheap wine I drank last night, but the Michigan Cyclocross World (not to be confused with Cyclocross World) is taking some strange twists and turns as we approach "C" day on Sunday. Like the strange photo above. (Keep checking in on The Michigan Scene, it's on fire - that Russian looking chick is putting up like four blogs a day featuring everybody from Gary Coleman to Mr. T!)

Look what MIS has done to our good friend, and Champion cyclocross Michael "The Whiz"Wissink. Yeah I can see the Whiz hangin' at the park and blowin' off the day.

Of course my favorite TMS disfiguration has to John Osgood as Obi Wan Krossobi. See he's winking at you with all that cross knowledge and Pabst stored up in his big brain.

And when you thought it couldn't getting any weirder - they turned Brian Hancock into a tatted up chick. Oh Brian what have they done to you?

And Marne Smiley as a monster? No that's just too cruel ...

This has to be somewhere in Orgegon, ya think? I can't wait for the second season of Portlandia, can you?

But it isn't just happening here in Michigan. It's everywhere! Just look at this cyclocross race that turned into a wild orgy in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah don't go for the dollar grab from her ass with your hand dude, use your mouth.This would never happen in Michigan. Well maybe this weekend the worm will turn. Lets hope! Or not hope, I mean.

To dial up the weirdness a couple of notches we are asking a few Mchigan Based teams to switch over to new uniforms for the State Championship. You know, like the "Combat Uniforms" at that MSU donned for the Michigan game. Or all those f*ckin goofy outfits that the Oregon Ducks wear every week. Thank God for Nike, huh? Or College football would be boring and not worth watching anymore.

Here's the new skin suit. We'll paint on your team name where the Diamondback is. The paint is mixed with embrocation so you'll be hot. Maybe not this hot, but hot. I can see Joe Brown in this, can't you?

This is the new "Easy-Mount" uniform just in from Paris. Never again will saggy, wet cycling shorts or the droopy but of your skinsuit snag on the remount. Those heel "spikes" are also good in the mud, we hear.

"Yeah put me back on my bike," indeed. Could this be what really did Tom in on that climb?

Here's just a look at the the "Easy Mount" suit on the way up some famous hill. You see the hill, right?

"This sponsor logo is really starting to tickle me right here."

Well I'm getting the paint brushes out right now and going to work. I'm just a little worried about applying the embro-paint on the shorts sections. Any suggestions?

Remember the last time I was slathering on about a Ridley, when I have a perfectly great bike(s) right now. I think that was exaccerbated by this photo of Liz Hatch, below.

Well things have gotten worse, after seeing this ... there just seems to be too much Ridley love in the world, doesn't there? Maybe it's the freaking tall head tubes ...

Hey you, b*tch! Whatcha doin' in bed with MY SWEET RIDLEY? Get up, get dressed, get out!

Finally a nice video of the Wednesday Worlds from Colorado, on the Mud and Cowbells site, where everyone, apparently, rides a Ridley. I think they must mine them out of the ground. Well enjoy, the video, and note how they have a course laid out without any stakes or markers. I think they just designate areas where you hope off the bike, and then back on. Tell me what you think. Maybe you can tell me at the ride tonight. See ya!