While it was a new perfect night for riding (for the small group of Bastards, Doez, CD and myself that made it) it was apparent right from the roll-out that the route was being guarded by an organized gang of Chihuahuas, or at least a bunch of nasty little dogs that looked like Chihuahuas.
While they may be easy to out-sprint, and would probably never be able to win a sprint finish in the B's at Grattan (I'm figuring maybe a few top tens and then moved up to As after a month) their attack is like a small road side bomb going off that's loaded with bristling sharp teeth and powered by a whole load of bad attitude.
Our favorite Killer Chihuahua, up on 13 mile, was actually hiding in the ditch, waiting for us. My guess is he was alerted via the Chihuahuanet by other members of his gang that had chased us just a few miles before. (One little monster actually sprinted after us so hard he spun out and crashed!)
When the 13 Mile Killer Chihuahua exploded out of his hidy-hole, it looked like the D0g Sprint scene from American Flyers when Kevin Costner sets his brother up with a Pit Bull on a training ride - everybody goes sprinting full-out to escape being mauled to death. Only instead of a Pit Bull, it was a snarling little beast with no legs.
The 13 Mile Killer took his bloody turns attacking our group, going after all three of us, one at a time. I tried to run him down as he went for CDs calf, only to have the little bastard turn on me and start chasing me up the road! Some nerve.
If you think that Killer Chihuahua attacks are funny, just take a look at this little news clip:
- FREMONT, Calif. (AP) — A pack of angry Chihuahuas attacked a police officer who was escorting a teenager home after a traffic stop, authorities said.
But are Chihuahuas really inherently evil beasts? Are they really the doggy world's new "Chihuahaunagans?" No I don't think so. Like any dog it's the owner that makes it a good or a bad dog. After returning to to the lot and having a few beers with Doez, and CD, and a surprise visit from Flying Bats with a cooler full of some really GOOD beer, I drove back to find out who was be behind the NIGHT OF THE KILLER CHIHUAHUAS!
Just as I thought, it was an evil, evil, twisted an screwed up mind.
The camera doesn't lie, boys and girls - and no it was the meth-lab guy, but close ...
Maybe she was just pissed at the world because the Belding Walgreens was out of Valtrex and sent those dogs after us to get her itchy revenge. I don't know what her reasoning was, but I'm de-friending her on Face Book today.