Thursday, July 29, 2010


Are you ready to ride tonight? Is your cross bike in good working order? If not, who knows what could happen out there on those dirt roads.
Having been in the cyclocross mode for the last two months, I was surprised to learn that many of our Crazy Bastard brothers haven't gotten their bikes tuned-up, or even back together yet. More surprised was I when talking with CD about a joint ride with fellow Bastards tonight, to learn he was experiencing the same thing: many of the Crazy Bastards in Holland were not ready to ride as their 'cross bikes were in a state of disrepair.
As you can see, the gear associated with bicycle repair and proper maintenance  isn't that intricate or sophisticated, since we are dealing with a, uh, a bicycle. Just look at the illustration above and you see practically everything you need to hit the road, and then the bar for some beers.

While some of us may have trouble fixing our bikes in the garage, or shop, other Bastards bring enough gear along on the ride to do the job by the side of the road. I think you know who I mean. Yeah, it's the guy that's got everything. He's probably got a head-set press in one of those bags just in case his f-ing Chris King comes loose while riding over potholes on Nugent.

Myself, I like to keep my bikes fresh an ready to go at a moment's notice. Above is a  shot of my bike repair area. Neatly organized and clean, everything has it place, and everyplace is full of a bunch of shit I've been meaning to throw out for over a year. Amazing how my hair grew back, isn't it?

In closing I'd like to share the letter I sent to CD in response to hearing about the lack of preparedness on the part of the Crazy Bastards in Holland, and apparently everywhere else:

Dear CD

I’ve heard some of that stuff about not having cross bikes ready, a few weeks ago, from the Bastards up here, but most of the guys up here have gone all out and uncurled their garden hoses and hosed the shit off their bikes that was left caked on after the last Versluis Race. Some of these hardy souls have also put oil on their chains, which I know is also an awesomely hard chore, but they’ve gone and done it anyway. Some, without their mom telling them to, which is really awesome for guys just over 40. The rest of our crew is now moving on to putting air in the tires, which can also be daunting, but some, with the help of small children in the neighborhood, are pumping up said tires so they assume a somewhat round shape and roll better when propelled by cranks , pedals, (and their now-not-so-squeaky chains) commonly associated with bicycles. Some of these geniuses, (and I’m talking about our geniuses, not your geniuses) have attended bike maintenance classes so I’m assuming they know how to inflate their tires and oil chains, but it is an amazing thing to behold anyway. But just barely. You can use some of this material on your crew to perhaps let them know that ‘cross season is a little over 6 weeks away and they should put down the bong and ramp up their shit. Just kidding, but it would be funny to lay it on them that way.



I cut out the parts about the color of his eyes and his long flowing hair. Like what does that have to do with bike repair anyway?

If you have a bike that's rideable I hope you'll be able to join us tonight. If not, next week should be a good one to get the band back together.

1 comment:

  1. A ride down Abbey Road for me tonight, Picnic Pops. See you next week.


    Bow Ties & British Beer (Pale Ale)