Wednesday, March 31, 2010

MICHIGAN HILLBILLY TRUCK ALERT!


I was only back on Michigan roads for a matter of minutes before the first homocidal-minded hillbilly truck driver try to cut my riding season short by passing me on a downhill, swinging onto the shoulder to the right and then pulling left across both lanes with not only a truck, but a trailer to boot. As I locked both wheels up, slithering down the road, all I could say was: OO-LA-LA!l I guess that the truck driver must have thought this some kind of Sarkozian-cuss because he promptly told me as we passed each other, now going in opposite directions: "Use your f*&ing breaks (I imagine he didn't know the proper spelling of brakes) or get the f*&k off the road."

No, I don't think it was Joe Biden, or Jed Clampet, or even Jethro behind the wheel - just the usual Michigan White Trash Truck Driving Idiot (WTTDI) out to bag them one of them a dang queer looking biker's dressed up like a dang ballerina.

Other than that it was a beautiful night of riding with the team, rolling along listening to everyone tell you how fat and out of shape they are. I always love that! You know the season is well on the way when you hear "gee I haven't been on a bike since 1997," as they check their wattage output on their power meter. Glad to say there were no further bike-hillbilly truck incidents to report. Beautiful ride, really.

So while I'd like to relocate to another State, that's still officially considered a member of the Union (States with ratings lower than 48 are on double probation and aren't really U.S. sanctioned), and call in an air-strike on our once beautiful peninsula and put it out of its misery, I guess I'll just keep taking my chances out there until my ship comes in - or sinks completely.

A warning to the rest of you Bastards - be extra careful if you see this truck (below) coming at you! Word is it only turns to the left, has no BREAKS and the driver is convinced that his prize goat was scared by biker which turned its dang milk sour for a month.


One last note: anyone want to get in some dirt road rides for fun? Maybe once a month? I'm also thinking we should have at least one more ride and a Crazy Bastard meeting at the HC to plan what course of action, or hell, maybe inaction, we're taking next season. Maybe even an awards dinner - we can have awards like "Guy Most Likely to Sell Me His Sweet Bianchi SS real cheap. The envelope please .... the winner: Mister KIM LEE!"

1 comment:

  1. I'd be interested in the dirt roads -- just let me know when. Thanks for the heads-up on the WTTDI as I am heading out in a little bit.

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