CZECKING DISCS BRAKES, THE RIVIERA AND CRANKY BELGIES

 Martin Bina took the win on a snowy and slippery course in Hoogerheide this Sunday. 

With the top guys like Nys, Albert and Pauwels falling on their asses all day, in what I could understand the announcers describing as "Holiday On Ice Performance," Czech rider Martin Bina just rode away from the crowd to take the win. This isn't the first time I've seen a Czech kill it on ice - they are pretty good at - and it was a great day for Bina to shine, it's his best finish, in a big race, ever.

Here's a look at the last lap of Hoogerheide, with Bina taking the win - pretty tricky riding and racing, and plenty of crashes. Czeck it out!

Here's Bina in unhappier and muddier times.

Since I had never heard of Bina before, I was like "who-the-hell-is-he-what's-team-and-what's-riding?" before the dude had even crossed the line. I haven't really researched his team much, which looks like just a big "E" or something, but I got on the bike right away. At first I thought it was Specialized Crux, first because it looked like a Specialized Crux, and two because the most famous Czech rider, Mr. Pink himself Stby-Stybar rides a specialized, and since there are only about six people in the Czech Republic that race cross, I thought maybe Styby just let him use an old one - on that wasn't pink.

Here's Styby on his pink Specialized Crux, with matching Specialized helmet hat.

Martin Bina's bike: It's a Merida! Who knew?

While I was a total fail on the the Bina's Team I did find out what bike he was riding. It's a Merida. Ever hear of it before? Me either. While there wasn't a lot of information on Merida website, which seemed to cater to the Australian market, with the catalog copy was nothing but a boatload of bad Chinese translations - the company was pretty forward looking, though, and both the high and low (carbon and alloy) bikes in their cyclocross series both featured disc brakes. Here's what the Merida site had to say about that:

"Once the UCI allowed unlimited use of disk brakes, cyclo-crossers have extended their enormous application range once again: They are sporty like a road racer and master off-road rides like MTBs. Making it the ultimate solution for sports equipment and/or everyday riding fun."

 I'm not sure about what extending enormous application range, means or WTF the ultimate solution for sports equipment and/or everyday riding fun ... is all about, but okay, that's cool, just get a better translator next time, I'm not going to hold it against the bike. So I'm thinking while everybody was falling on their ass Bina was riding that shit like he owned it because of his awesome disc brakes, right? 

Well on closer inspection it looks like Bina Czecked out a Merida with canti's, instead of disc brakes for his World Cup racing and winning Holiday on Ice performance.

On closer inspection, and after an eye test, those were canti's on Bina's bike, and Albert on his wheel at Hoogerheide this weekend.

So you'll say I'm just a disc-brakes-for-cross hater, but oh well, that's life. I did however enjoy all that Merida website copy. Check or Czeck it out about what they had to say about the history of cyclocross.

"Ambitious road racers visualise tough athletes on mud covered bikes when they think of cyclo-crossers. This challenging bike sport was "officially" born at the French Riviera around the turn of the century 1899/1900 after it had gradually emerged from the winter training season of road racers. The appearance of cyclo-cross machines have changed and have developed mass appeal over time–without negating their origin."

Well I'm certainly glad that cyclo-cross machines have changed and developed mass appeal without negating their origin, 'cause that would suck and I would have a whole garage full of "negated cross machines" in the garage with nowhere to go. I was also surprised to learn that cyclocross was born on the French Riviera. That's news to me - I mean can you imagine a cyclocross race here?

The French Riviera - where cyclocross was born? You're kidding me ...

Yeah, there's  a few really nice sets of barriers down by the beach you can practice on ...

Wait, you mean Nationals isn't going to be on the French Riviera again this year? F#%#@ that sh*t! (Jeff "Lil Pony Weinert picking up a top-ten finish at Nats but probably wishing he was racing on the Riviera, I'll bet.)

IN OTHER BAD TRANSLATION NEWS, THE U.S. AND NYS GET DISS'D BY THIS JACKHOLE ...

Who is this guy with crazy hair product, squatting with a road bike in the snow and hating on Nys and America? Let's find out, shall we? 

Adam McIntyre sent me a link to an interview with what appears to be the Sunweb Napoleon Games Director Sportif, as we call 'em; a guy named Jurgen Mettepenning. Seems like this Jurgen, or Jurgie as I like to call him thinks he can manage both cyclocross and football (really, it's soccer) and he's pretty bad-ass at both - or so he thinkgs. He also has a lot to say about Nys, Albert, Kevin and Klaus and having the World Championships in the U.S. The whole thing is like the worst translation ever, even worse than the Merida website, so if you'd like to ready some garbled snarkiness by the guy above go here. Otherwise I give you my own take below.

"Jurgen Mettepenningen: "Sven should show less disposals'"

What in the hell the headline above means, I'm not sure, but maybe Jurgie is saying that Nys should recycle more and not throw so much stuff away - like all those trophies and bouquets he throws out of the window of his tricked-out camper.

Here's a description of Jurgen by the writer:

"He came out on the football field and in the drive they had but little of him. But Jurgen Mettepenningen today is a figure in the microcosm of the cross. His team, Sunweb Napoleon Games, won Klaas Vantornout the BK and in two weeks, it is to Kevin Pauwels. "I've always said I will not stop until I'm a world champion."

I can't figure out who will be World Champion, Pauwels, or Jurgen. You tell me. Here's what Jurgie had to say about Nys ....

"Sven would totally fit in my team. Three years ago I have been in negotiation with him. It was close, but I'm glad we did not come to an agreement. Look at his camper: his own logo stands higher than that of the sponsor. I think Nys takes his own person more important than the team. 

Brave sponsors who accept it. "

I'm glad you didn't get Nys either, Jurgie. Smart move on everyone's part here. And, oh yeah, it would take a brave sponsor to rake in all the dough Nys would make for you. Here's what Jurgie had to say about Mr Personality, Kevin Pauwels ...

"He is my top favorite. The trail is perfect on its size. And he can totally relax go: for us this season have nothing. We have Belgian sweater and victories in seven television crosses. Our year is double thick and successful. "

I think the trail he's referring to is the course in Louisville. The old double thick and successful deal, I'm not so sure about.  But I think whatever you're talking about, Jurgies, it would have been double-double-double thick with results if you had bought everybody, including your top favorite, one of these things this year.

Yeah, Jurgie, next year, if you're not managing Manchester United, buy some chain keepers for your boys.

Just a few weeks ago a dejected Klaas Vantornout (Sunweb-Napoleon Games) at the finish in Rome after a last lap mechanical cost him a podium result. (His chain fell off.)

You could use the same photo this weekend (if I could find it) only with a dejected Kevin Pauwels crying over his bike after his chain fell off while he was in contention for the win, or at least a podium finish at Hoogerheide. It was just more of the same .... here's what Lars van der Haar, who finished second to Bina this weekend at Hoogerheide had to say about the incident.

“The initiative only came from Kevin [Pauwels] or me. When he (Pauwels) dropped his chain it was up to me. I came back on him but then I bobbled. In the final lap I came close again but not close enough,” Van der Haar said.

Final Jeopardy question for Jurgie was about the World Championships in the U.S. this year ...

Finally, what do you think of that World Cup in the United States?

"Honestly, I do not see the point in that. When I see what it cost my team, I say it can not. All respect for the work of Peter Van den Abeele with the UCI. He has an interesting vision and delivers excellent work, but must cyclocross really internationalize? All sponsors are Belgian-Dutch oriented. Let us be honest: Cyclocross is a sport for Belgium and neighboring countries. So let us also here the crosses organize. Here we have least knowledge of. "

Least knowledge, for sure Jurgie ...

WELCOME TO THE CYCLIST LEPER COLONY AND THE NEW LANCE EFFECT

Yeah, fly it to the moon, will ya? I've just about had enough of both of you.

So last night I work late, can't make the regular ride so I opt for a short spin around town. I wear the wrong gloves and my hands are freezing so I stop for something warm at a nice restaurant and bar. I cozy up to the bar, start to order a glass of something, when I notice everyone in the place is looking at me. Admiring my sweet kit? Marveling that I am such an awesome/asshole kind of guy to be riding in such cold weather? No, none of the above ...

Walking into a bar in cycling kit last night during the Lance news segment was like being Cleavon Little's Black Sheriff in the Racist town in Blazing Saddles.

It took me a moment to get it. Then I look up and see three or four big screens with Lance all over it. Lance riding. Lance time trialing. Lance climbing a mountain. Lance drinking champagne. Lance climbing onto the TdF podium. Lance lying to reporters. People are pointing and laughing at me - "hey, there's Lance, right there!" On-the-screen graphic meanwhile are shouting: DISGRACED CYCLISTS ... LIAR ... CHEAT ... and so on.

Not my favorite sport or rider right now, just sayin'.

So while I'm sitting there being laughed and smirked at because I'm stupid enough to be a cyclist, I start thinking that I'm getting this shit just because Armstrong wants to race in sleeveless, mid-drift jerseys with Magic Marker scrawling on his arms and legs. I already don't care for Triathlon Culture now, this could turn me into a Tri-Hater. I really hadn't come to throwing down on the whole "Lance Thang" but this just about cut it. I mean pop culture crap like Oprah just doesn't do it for me, so I don't watch - but you can if want to - that's your problem. The other thing that came to mind is that Lance is more addicted to attention than he is to anything else. So I guess Oprah appearances are about right. Douche.

So here are the top questions, in 2013 that I'm already sick as f*ck of hearing:

#1 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LANCE ARMSTRONG?

#2 DO YOU HAVE A FAT BIKE?

#3 DO YOU THINK DISC BRAKES HAVE A FUTURE IN CYCLOCROSS?

My answer to all of these questions is the same - watch this video and learn, kids!

Mechanical Failure Tuesday With Race News And More!

Apparently the sticky frozen at Nationals was a problem for disc brakes and other moving bike parts. Photo CXMagazine.

Here's a little look at the race and conditions on Sunday - watch it until the end - lots of footage of Tom Burke, who turned a great performance in his race, taking a Top Ten - and apparently on Disc Brakes, as you can see in the footage. More about Michigan racers at Nationals later this week.

It appears that tough conditions at the USA Cyclocross National Championships, in someplace called Wisconsin, uncovered some issues for disc brake technology on cyclocross bikes, just this past weekend. While many of you know I have been a long-time disc-brakes-for-cross-bikes denier, you probably think that I felt vindicated in what went down on Sunday. But not really ... well maybe.

One of the first reports of disc brake failure was made by the guy who races this bike.

I first heard about what was happening with disc brakes at Nationals from a Face Book post by Leonard Zinn. While I don't usually read a lot of "Zinn," because I'm not 8-feet tall and don't need 195 crank arms, this headline immediately caught my attention, because as I said, I am a Disc-Brakes-For-Cross-Bike Denier, and probably a bit of a hater, too.

"Bright future for disc brakes fades briefly under a coating of Verona mud"

At first I wondered, where the hell is Verona? Italy? No, it's just outside of Madison, WI, where the Cross Nationals have been held for what seems like the last 19-years. Instead of relying on his own load of technical knowledge, it looks like Zinn went out and did a little investigative reporting. Here are a couple of excerpts from his VeloNews article ...

VERONA, Wisconsin (VN) — The bright future of disc brakes in cyclocross faded briefly under a patina of watery mud at the USA Cycling Cyclocross National Championships, as early competitors found themselves brakeless after a lap or two of sloppy racing going into the weekend ... 

Well you could always take them off and use them for Pizza Cutters ... (my comment, not Zinn's)

“I’ve suddenly become a disc-brake hater!” says Michael Robson of Moots, who has reviewed cyclocross disc brakes all season for VeloNews.com. After taking a number of practice laps on Friday in anticipation of his 40-44 race Saturday and having no brakes left at the end of each lap, he planned to ride his cantilever-equipped bike and relegate his BB7-equipped machine to the pit.

“I totally see now why the Euros don’t use them,” he says. “Cranking brakes down every lap – hell, no!”

While I had also eschewed the use of disc brakes because of the additional weight (Adam Myerson's number reason for disc-hating) plus the cost of retrofitting wheels with pizza cutters, the crappy noise they make when you ride them in wet and dusty conditions, along with the fact that I don't think you need that much braking power on a cross bike, I never thought that the f*cking things would just quit working in wet and muddy conditions - one of the selling points had been that they would be better in bad conditions, right? Well I guess not. Maybe product testing should have included riding them through some mud, huh?

Not only does mud screw up disc brake performance, but large snakes can also hinder braking, and going performance.

Here's where I learned most of what I know about putting disc brakes on anything but Mountain Bikes, where God meant them to be.

And here's what I'm thinking bike engineers manufacturers were planning on making the switch to all disc-brake equipped cyclcross bikes and technology future looked like after Zinn's article came out on VeloNews this week.

Of course now they (whoever they are) are saying that the problem will be solved once hydraulic brakes are brought into the mix and new pad designs and materials are put in place and so on. Unfortunately it sounds like a bunch of excuses. But maybe the guy they've put on the job can do it!

Disc Brakes for Cross Bikes! That's a fantastic idea! But I'll need to make a few adjustments ...

IN OTHER MECHANICAL AND DESIGN FAILURES: FAT BIKES REFUSE TO STAY-UPRIGHT ON SNOW! PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF!

Fat Bikes don't work so good on snow? Say it's not so!

A great series of photos by Julie McGraw from this week's Farmer's Fat Bike Race at Cannonsburglar, revealed the fact that Fat Bikes just tend to fall over on their sides in wet snow. It was topple over and crash, or just push that monster along - which would be easier with a lighter bike. Yeah, I'm a Fat Bike Denier too, so figure that in the hater-equation. Just click the link at the top of this paragraph to see all of Julie's photos of the falling and fun at this race.

OTHER RACE NEWS: TURNING YOURSELF INSIDE OUT FOR FUN AND FRACTURES!

There was so much happening this week the Inside Out Race slipped right by me: until I heard about it from the Koala Bear.

According to the Koala the Inside-Out Race just wasn't a fun and crazy race, it was something like a World Championship affair attracting the top names in the country. It was sooooo competitive that racers went to the extent of injuring themselves to get that prized step on the podium.

Inside-Out Second Place Trophy: A broken wrist (artist dramatization of a "Red" second place cast. First place were Blue crutches).

Entertaining video of this weekend's INSIDE OUT RACE - it looks like Big Mac was wearing his Bissell Skinsuit of invisibility again.

Top finishers at this year's INSIDE OUT race, except those wearing cloaks of invisibility, will move on to compete in next year's BILENKY JUNKYARD CROSS, which is pretty much the same thing, and has a lot of going in and out of boxes, cars, and buildings, and also features a lot opportunities to pick up fractures, as well as cuts, bruises sutures and tetanus. Here's a sweet taste of what it's all about ...

IN OTHER CYCLING NEWS THIS WEEK: LANCE MAY HAVE DOPED.

CRAZY BASTARDS BIRD RIDE REPORT

This is a dramatic depiction of our ride Tuesday Night - when we were attacked by insane birds!

Great ride last Tuesday. Plenty of riders and the roads were in good to fair condition, with just a little bit of ice, but not much. Temps were mild, and well it was just a better than average Crazy Bastard ride until ... the birds attacked!

I could go on for hours about how it all went down but I thought this dramatic recreation of the incident would be far more helpful. In the video below I'm played by Tippi Hedren, who bear a striking resemblence to me. We've replaced the bicycle with a boat and the slippery gravel road with the ocean, but I think you'll get the idea. Rod (what's his face) plays the part of Dr. Phil who was also attacked by one of the birds. Dr. Phil looks nothing like Rod Whatshisface, unfortunately, but you can't always have full realism in these dramatic recreations.

Back in the lot, having recovered from the incident, renowned naturalists, hunter, killer and wild-thang gourmand Aaron Huntington decided to go back and look for our attacker who had been seen flying into the brush after his brush with Phil and I.

Here's a depiction of Aaron going back to look for the bird. I'm glad to report that in this artist rendering captures the real Aaron in action.

Here's Aaron going back to the spot where we were attacked. At this point we thought the attacker was a hawk.

But upon closer inspection Aaron saw the thing in flight ... probably looking for another cyclist to attack. "THWATS THWNO WHAWK! YWOUTH STHUPID CWAYZEE BWASTARDS, DWATS A BWARN BWOWL! is what I think he said.

Here's what did the attacking. The ordinary Barn Owl. Not big, but believe me they can pack a punch.

After discovering the best, Aaron was able to capture it using his wild-life and culinary skills, that well, we can't disclose here, he took it home and made it part of the family. 

Here's what happened to the Barn Owl later that night at the Huntington home ...

CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP RACING

While some of us may have stopped racing - other's haven't. In fact some think this "second season" is the best racing the year. Maybe next year for me, I'll be a spectator for the rest of this winter ...

Adam Myerson isn't the only Adam that Won't stop Can't Stop racing this year. Adam McIntyre was once again hit the cross racing road, packing his trusty GoPro, for the New Year's Resolution Race in Chicago. If you check his FaceBook page you'll find clips and photos of the pro's racing yesterday which turned out to be far snowy and slippery than this race only couple of hours prior to the main event. Powers took day one after being harrassed from the start by a TJ. Adam, in the race above scored an impressive 18 out of 66 in the Men's Cat 2-3. He was 3rd in the Cat 3's. Nice job Big Mac.

WORLD CUP RACING IN ROME: HORSEY STYLE



Saddling up and going racing. On two wheels or four legs - it's still racing. This in fact looks just like the medal for the UCI racers in Rome today (Sunday). I guess it's the "U" in UCI. 

Held on a horse race track in Rome, today's World Cup was a fast one and was actually dominated by horses that could really get out there and go faaaaast! Here's a GoPro video from the helmet of the Italian that managed run his way onto the podium.

Well, we can just be thankful that the Romans didn't put the race in the old Gladiator Coliseum, because instead of looking like a horse race it would have looked a bloody/porno episode of Spartacus Blood and Sand. I think Fabian should star in the next season of this thing ...

KICKING THE NEW YEAR OFF WITH A GOOD WHINE AND SOME BEAR BASHING

Awwwww, so cute. But who cares? Wait until you find out!

I'm kicking the New Year off with a little whining about going soft, handing out awards for showing up, being nice, kissing the right ass, and so on. Maybe it's because I just started 2013 with the f*cking flu and enough family problems  that a trailer full of straight-jackets and an atom bomb stuffed of anti-depressants couldn't cure it all. First let's get to thought of having some serious concerns about the hardmen and hardwomen we see racing cross, mountainbikes and road around here. I wasn't even thinking about the subject until I saw the photo of the little bear above being "Liked" one of the notorious hardmen of Michigan 'Cross, John Osgood. Let me tell you that was some kind of let down. I mean when I saw that disgusting little creature I was looking for the Face Book "Hate" button, or organize another Seal/Bear Cub Hunt Ride. Osgood on the other hand "Liked" it ... how far have you fallen Mr. Chunky Dunker, the guy who used to heckle me - "If you can taste blood in your throat you're not going hard enough" - huh, what happened?

A few weeks ago Osgood was actually killing people with his 'cross bike. See the body in the background? Yeah, Osgood did that. Now he's liking warm fuzzy pictures of polar bear cubs.

Andrew Staub, Tough Guy, Race Promoter riding through a nuclear blast - and now he's a lover of Broadway Musicals? 

When I "thought" I saw race promoter and confessed Beat The Train pod cast blabber-mouth Andrew Staub posting a comment about "Les Miserable" the musical, and how he though some of the voices were good, other's weren't, I just about threw up in my mouth! I even called Andrew and he said he hadn't written the review but that he would mind going to see the movie. WTF!

Yeah, I was dreaming a dream. Like cross guys liking Les Mis' and polar bear cubs. And like I woke up in hell and that instead of being at a cross race I was at some suck-ass broadway musical with a teddy bear in my arms.

I guess this is what some of your closets are going to be looking like in 2013. Which one are you going to be wearing to work at the cat shelter today, honey?

AMERICAN'S ARE PUSSIES

Louisville looks easy compared to these. Enjoy and I hope America's ready!

Further evidence of our decline in toughness was validated by JMAK's blog on December 21st, in which he made the case, with video proof, that American cyclocrossers are "Pussies" (except, ironically for American Women Cyclocrossers) compared to their Euro counterparts. While this video is pretty brutal, I actually think it got worse in the slew of races over the holidays. 

KOALA BEAR MICHIGAN CYCLISTS OF THE YEAR AWARDS - SCRATCHING UP THE WRONG TREE?

Okay you're first, you're second, and you're kinda of hot, you're a runner up.

I had never heard of Koala Bears living in Northern Michigan until last week, but apparently they do. They also love cycling, which is another thing I never knew about them. While friends and family tried to shield be from its existence and the work it was doing in our northern woods, others, not so worried I might have a stroke, sent me missives about the Koala's recent activities. Apparently its cute little toes can type on a keyboard, as well as climb trees and eat leaves and I guess it made a list of what it thinks are Michigan's best cyclists in all sorts of cycling sports, including cyclocross. To say that while it's as cute as a baby polar bear, the Koala wasn't quite hitting it off with the some of the cycling community here in Michigan. Here's one email that I received, below. The author will forever remain as anonymous as a 'Scener, TMS commenter, the names and categories he's referring to have been "redacted" as they like to say in Washington, to protect the innocent.

"Who the fuck writes this @#$%$ blog?  It's horseshit.  The writer sits on a throne of lies.  @#$%$ as @#$%$ of the year and @#$%$ as a runner up?  @#$%$ did like X @#$%$ races and X were @#$%$.  And nobody cares about @#$%$.  @#$%$!!!!!!!  Now I am going to bed."
  

While I was fascinated with profanity and wild accusations in the email,  but I absolutely fell in love with the phrase "SITS ON A THRONE OF LIES." After a little investigation I discovered that it wasn't original and that it came from the movie ELF starring Will Ferrell. I also liked that after the sweet rant, anon was going directly to bed.

After looking up the the results that the "Anon" was referring too on the Koala Bear's blog, or whatever it was, I too, was a little baffled by the results. It seems that if you wanted to be recognized as a Koala Bear Cyclocross Cyclist of the Year contender, for instance, you needed to stay completely away from Tailwind races, and not win, or maybe not even compete for a State Championship. While I thought there were a few fine cyclocrossers recognized, there were far too many really good ones that weren't. But I guess maybe it's just that the Koala is just kinder and gentler than the rest of us, and that it's not really about competition and winning, but about something I know nothing about ... like kid's soccer, where all those little shits get trophies for just showing up and not throwing up pizza in the back of the mini-van.

Here, have a trophy. Everybody gets one. Just let me saw the legs off the tall ones so they're all the same size.

Richard Sachs, famed cyclocross frame maker has turned having his own damn opinion into a nice side business with his AND THAT MY OPINION tao, and line of luggage.

I think it's perfectly okay for the Koala to hand out awards as it fast as it can paw the keyboard, but I needs to add, like I do, or more famously, Richard Sachs, who's always pissing people off with his wacky opinions, with his famous ATMO (And That's My Opinion) which he has practically made into a industry unto itself.

SO WHO ISN'T MUNCHING POP CORN AT MUSICAL OR CUDDLING WITH A CUTE BEAR?



This woman for one - I notice though that she didn't bother add an ATMO.



Here's proof that she means what she says.  Looks like she tried to plant that thing like a potato and still climbed onto the podium.

Well as JMAK pointed out, and anybody that watched Namur or Zolder this year has to give it to the Euro crossers for being tough. There was outlandish mud this year and every race turned into a death march with two too go. And as far as winning, you could see that it meant everything.

Here's a nice move by Stybar at the end of the race, showing the new guy what he things about his sprint for the the line.

Here's the fruit basket that Styby sent the guy after he almost killed him. Nice touch. Baby.

In another Holiday race a fan threw a beer at Sven Nys. What did The Kannibal of Baal do? Stopped in the middle of the race, went into the crowd and tracked the guy down and then ...

... ate him alive. This is what they found by the flyover.