Dust in the Wind?

Anyone up for a possible ride down the dusty trail/roads of Bastard Land on Tuesday (7-13)? Haven't been out there for a while (since the snow thawed for the last time) and am curious to see if the cross rig still works after it got thrown in the corner after Barry-Roubaix. Thinking of rolling at 6. Shouldn't be as hot as it was last week, but might want to make sure your bottles aren't full of sand before you leave the lot.

RUSSIAN BRIDE PRIMES

As always Redline Bastard is ahead of the curve. In this case he is actually several curves ahead by the looks of his summertime "Russian Helper," Zasha. Gee that girl flips a mean burger. While Redline was first in co-opting the Russian-Ride-and-Bride concept, it didn't take long for the rest of the local cycling community to catch on.
Last night, at Grattan, as a matter of fact, they were giving away Russian Brides as Primes. Finally, something that's worth a little road rash. The above is a shot of a wedding that took place in the Grattan Parking lot at the end of the race. I'm not sure which team rider took this prime, but my guess he was wearing black & pink.

If you weren't lucky enough, or fast enough to win a Russian Bride in a sprint last night, or have Redline's international connections, there are still other ways you can be a big winner by entering the STIL VODKA contest. Until then it looks like burger and beers at Redline's crib next week.

Tooo Hot For Me....

Tuesday night ride report.

I intersected with Surly on my ride into Townsend on Six mile just before Giles. We took a quick spin out to Scally returning on the southern route. Road conditions were fast for the most part with a few sections of sand thrown in just to keep things interesting. It was great riding in the shade of the trees with temps nearing the 9o degree mark.

Surly was riding like a fine tuned hipster machine, leaving my sad-self in the dust. Nevertheless, I look forward to the next ride.

DIRT ROAD RIDE TONIGHT

I'm assuming that the high temperatures over the weekend have burned off the flora and killed all the fauna in the countryside, but hopefully the dirt roads haven't been turned to molten glass - at least not yet. I'm planning on busting out the cross bike for a roll around the dirt roads - under any available shade that's left, tonight between 6 and 6:30 at Townsend. If you care to join me, fill your tires and any available water bottles and I'll see you there.

Have a Hipster July 4th

Have a Happy 4th bastards. Rumors of a ride at all? Post up if anyone is hitting the dirt roads.

SINGLE SPEED AND HIPSTERING

Missed everyone at the game area last night. The dog ran like a crazy beast in near 80 degree heat so in one lap, we're done. Packed up my budget single speed mountain bike and one hot dog, and crawled home with our collective tails between our legs. I returned back at Bastard Headquarters at about 6:30, busted out my carefully and painfully color-coordinated hipster whip, put on my Tigers cap, which for some strange reason looks like an As cap in the photo, and proceeded to cruise the city until about about 10. While I was looking pretty sharp and hipsterish, I did not co-opt the entire lifestyle and culture. By that I mean instead of drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon at the Meanwhile I sipped some nice Pinot Grigo at the Winchester.

If you'd like to see more of this kind of crap (above) to create your own Hipster style and image, go to the site Look At This Fucking Hipster. It's something like LATFH.com.

Hope everyone has a great 4th! Don't blow any fingers off with backyard fire works or you'l be t pin ike his f r he est of ou ife.

Have a good

Grattan Report & Bastard Ride Tonight?

Not too many laps into the race last night and a guy that looked just like this was sitting on the side of the track, broken bike at his feet and blood pouring down his face like an unstoppable red stream. I hope he's okay, but the ambulance had to take him away. He was out of the A's, and I'm not sure what team he was on. Like I say, I hope he's okay, but it didn't look good. He sat there for a few laps until the ambulance arrived. I think he brought a little more focus to the B's and we managed to get home without incident.

On a happier and safer note I heard through the cycling grapevine that there was indeed a Bastard ride on Tuesday, though there was no report on this blog about their exploits. I had an appointment for a sex change and some tattoo work and was unable to make it so I have no idea what went on.  Though I have to say that as a result of all "work" I had done (see below) I'll now be able to race in Cat 4 Women's races this fall. I thought this was a lot easier than just getting a downgrade to Cat 5 Men, though it did hurt a lot more than I expected. I'm putting a cut-out seat on my bike for tonight's ride.

Hopefully we'll be seeing some regular Bastards making the rides - either tonight or on Tuesday. Here's a photo from last year, when men were still men. Well, these guys are all still men from what I hear. They sure look manly here, don't they?

 And hopefully they'll be more of this, as well, which is so manly and Bastardly I'm having to reach for some depilatory right now, just looking at it.

But just in case there's nobody to ride with tonight, I'm bringing my BBFF, or BF2, which stands for Best Bitch Friend Forever, pictured below. Yeah, she's ready to ride, and she's fixed, too!