PLAYING CHICKEN TO BEING CHICKEN - THURSDAY URBAN RIDE ANTICS

You never know what you'll see on a Crazy Bastard Urban Ride. We ran into these girls along the way last Thursday night. They were on their way to Margo's Birthday Party at the Winchester. I think the gal on the right is Sheri Versluis, the Farmer's Wife. Looks like she's buying her riding kit at the same place as Julie Boonen.

Too chicken for another soggy mud ride on Thursday, a few of us opted for an urban ride which essentially eliminates mud but keeps the potholes in the riding equation. It also adds pedestrians and cars, something that we rarely see in the dark woods along the usual Crazy Bastard route, so there's more fun and weirdness right there. So we met up at Founders and headed out, with Big Kahuna, Amy S, Steve B, Cupcake aka Laura M, and your faithful ride recorder, ont the dangerous and bizarre streets of our "bike friendly ....." excuse me I had to laugh, city, of Grand Rapids

Cupcake leads the cheering of the huge crowds that greeted us as our Crazy Bastard Urban Ride rolled through town. 

Cheering for us? Not really, nobody cared about us, actually. They just wanted us out of the way most of the time. What you're seeing above was the Chicken Dance (some contest to see how many people can be made to look ridiculous at once), and we just happened to be riding by. It was a great way for Amy S and Cupcake to warm up. As you can see ...

A little chicken wiggle to the left.

A little chicken to the right.

A little get-down chicken wiggle, tonight, and you'll feel real nice!

After the Chicken Dance we again had to stop, this time to wish Margo Burian a happy birthday. she was celebrating at the Winchester with some of those friends that we ran into on our way.

Margo celebrates her birthday with members of the Crazy Bastard Urban Ride™. I think she said she was 26 or 27, but I can't be sure. Post your best guess in the comments below.

While the ride was a lot of fun, it's sure not like having the whole road to yourself, as we do all fall and winter long on the usual CB routes out of Townsend. As the ride progressed, and the vehicles came closer and closer, as the lights flashed and the horns honked, I had horrible visions that looked a lot like these old bicycling cartoons ...

The lesson here – Grata buses and bus drivers ... approach with extreme caution. They are not your friend when you're on a bicycle.

Okay, same thing goes for grabbing a car, truck or bus for an easy ride. Don't do it - unless you're a hipster, and then it's okay. It's not like you're an endangered species or anything like that, right?

Oh yeah, look out for that truck, dumbass.

I don't know about the transcendence part, but I'll like to learn enough to not-get-mowed-down by that family from Kentwood that's looking for a parking spot.

Bike Snob NYC has another book on the way. This one looks like it was made for anyone that wants to go on an Urban Crazy Bastard Ride - like that's ever going to happen again. Anyway I don't think we should go on another ride until everyone has read this book, studied the "danger cartoons" and is prepared to take a three-hour test on urban riding skills. If we all pass then we'll be riding like these super-cool  hipsters from Norway on fixies in the video below. Notice near the end of the video they leave town and head out into the countryside. Good idea. And great soundtrack and video. Watch it an learn watcher and learners - with the rain coming down right now, another ride on the hard stuff might be in order.

FTT edit #3 from Thomas Larsen Røed on Vimeo.

URBAN RIDE TONIGHT - HAVING FUN WITHOUT MUD AND HATING ON THE BIKE LANES

Bike lanes? Bike lanes? We don't need no stinking bike lanes?  You have to watch this video, it's hilarious to the point of being ludicrous*

Before I invite you to join me in an Urban ride tonight, I have to tell you that yesterday I got one load of shit from people that knew I was a biker,  telling me what they thought about the new bike lanes going in in Grand Rapids right now. To them they seem useless and out of place, and a waste of the cities money. Frankly, looking at some of the locations that have been picked for bike lanes, I have agree, and while they may look good to you on a bike, they mean absolutely nothing to the idiots that drive in this town. If you didn't know that Grand Rapids was a bike hating town, you will now. There's some pissed off car drivers out there now. All I have to say about the whole thing, is I think it's all ludicrous*.

Let's hope we don't have any incdents if we try an urban Crazy Bastard Ride tonight. Getting tazered in last night was enough!

While I love a good mud ride, riding in a 6-inch deep gumbo maybe just a little too much for even me  to stomach (especially after trashing one entire drivetrain this winter). It was suggested at one of the last "Apres Ride Drinking Session" that we try an urban ride if the roads out in our "Natural Loop" remained too muddy to ride. So I'm proposing that tonight we meet at Founders and do some "Urban Touring".  So lets meet at 6, and give it a try, what do you say? We'll need lights, as always, handmade prison weapons, basically same stuff as usual. I did this last Tuesday by myself in the rain and it was a hoot. Also bring a bike lock in case we stop for refreshments along the way.

Here's a long, boring and British take on Urban Riding. 

The biggest thing I got out of this video was the fact that I don't use the word "Ludicrous" enough. And while "Car Hater" is pretty particular about his roads. I think the whole thing is just ludicrous*.

Here's another Urban Ride of sorts in some place called Canada.

Watch this video (above) an learn not what to wear. I don't care if it does rain tonight, please, now tall rubber boots. Kiddy bikes, or even that 26 that Tony rides are okay.

Yeah Tony, bring this one tonight. At least you won't have to worry about having it stolen.

In case you missed it, here's a dramatic reenactment of me getting tazered before I could ride on a muddy trail or park last night. This may look bad, but it's probably better than the brutal social media blanket party I would have received had I actually "rutted"somewhere out there.

Let me know if you plan on riding tonight, or if you think this ride is just a stupid idea. Like our other rides aren't stupid? Charging the lights now.