NEVER LOOK BACK RULES PLUS NEW KITS AND CHRISTMAS GIFTS

This is what it looks like when you get dropped with a broken f-ed up free hub - dim, dark and alone. Adam McIntyre walked back several miles to the lot on Tuesday after another hub failure courtesy of Oval. Good thing here, even though the bike wouldn't pedal, there was still a brake adjuster handy that worked. Only thing better - disc brakes.

My ride report from Tuesday is pretty thin on details since the only person I've talked to that survived, and just barely, was Big Mac whose free hub failed and he trailed off the back of the group as it sped off into the night. 

Here's what one of the leaders at the front of the ride looked like on Tuesday offering hand signals to keep the group rolling as one. The new motto on Tuesday Night: NEVER LOOK BACK!

Never Look Back, Bitches™(I've already trademarked the new, long form slogan - smart, huh.)

We're also having a test that's part of the Never Look Back, Bitches™theme , called "And the Time to Attack is ..." select the best one and look for the correct answer at the end of the post.

a) When somebody has a flat.

b) A chain breaks.

c) Free Hub fails.

d) Have to stop for a "Nature Break."

e) Crashes in a ditch when rubbing a front wheel of car fender.

f) Traffic stops half the group at an intersection.

Since we're going to have a new theme and direction for the club, excuse me gang, I think we should have some kits to carry the message: "Never Look Back!" I've been browsing some design ideas and think that stealing somebody else's good, or in this case bad, idea, is the best course of action.

Saw this one posted by Tati Cycles. Think this is from 30-years ago? Take a closer look at the date. Also, this should be a sure-fight starter at the Honey Creek, don't you think?

Here's another team kit option that's way cheaper.

 In this outfit you sure as hell wouldn't want to get dropped in the dark in 20-something degree weather. Of course if the right person is wearing this, like this model, chances are everybody will be on that wheel, and waiting for a jump out of the saddle on the next climb.

CHRISTMAS CRAZY BASTARD GIFTS

(Because it's better to give than to get dropped in the dark)

Christmas is just around the next muddy and ice covered corner and I'm also thinking about club, I mean gang, Christmas gifts for everyone because I just love you all so much. I thought these pizza slicers were awesome. I'd love to get you all one but they cost something like an unbelievable $3500 a piece! You think these were Campy Pizza Slicers for the price!

One nice pizza slicer. But too pricey for jerks like you.

Speaking of Campy gifts this wine-corky opener-thingy is only $300, which makes it about $3200 less than the Ridley Pizza Cutter. Still too much for chumps like you.

Tonight's ride could look like this if we left at 3:00 pm when  the sun's still up. A beautiful shot of dirt road riding in Belgium with Katie Compton. Nice!

ANSWER TO THE NEVER LOOK BACK™ TIME TO ATTACK QUESTION:

e) Crashes in a ditch when rubbing a front wheel of car fender.

Yes, you Bastards, the best time to attack is always during a gruesome and gut-wrenching crash. Here's a dramatic recreation of Chuck's crash last week. Fortunately for him we hadn't instituted the new Never Look Back™ rules. See you tonight - plan on rolling at 6:30. Lights charged, batteries replaced. Let the Never Look Back, begin!