THE TALL AND THE SHORT OF IT: DERBY CUP 2010 REPORT

"Hello down there!" Hello up there" Yeah they've heard that one before, so shut up already.

Yeah, this was the short and the tall of the race weekend. Our own Killer Kubiak and Ryan Trebon (Tree Farm) together (almost) at last.

Heather, running the sand with style.

Like sand? Like dust? Like dirt? There was plenty of it at the new World Cup course in Louisville this weekend. A biblical-long draught dried out the course, raising sand-storms and a waves of locust that ate the cotton side-walls off the pros' Dugast tires. Yeah, it was scary - and coughie. Hack-hack.

"No you first." "No you go ahead. " "No I insist, after you ..."

First lap of every race this sand-hill section looked like a Civil War battle re-enactment. Above you can see the Cat 2-3 making friends - if by making friends you mean trampling each other. Trying to ride this particular piece of dirt, flat-out, cost me dearly on Day 2. Boo-hoo, poor fucking me.

He said he'd sell it to us after his race. So that's $3 for a face-mask full of dirty snot.

We talked about getting some surgical masks for Day 2, and what do you know, some young cyclocrosser beat us to it. Not only that he planned to make a buck or three in the process. Maybe he planned to pay for the $3 parking. Yeah, $3 to park in hell, no thanks. People just parked in the street, instead. But that's another story.

Yeah I should have spent $3 on the mask - snot and all. I'll be coughing up shit from that course for a week. Don't you love cyclocross racing?

Another dusty turn at the bottom of another hill. The course was a lot like a moto-cross course. Unfortunately I don't have a motorcycle engine in my ass.

Same hill (I think) another view. Heather models what it looks like from the top. Yeah you're taller than me Heather - but not taller than Tree-Farm.

Other side of the Hill, headed for the finish line. Thanks to Werdy for all the shots of me. If you're sick of seeing me as I am, you've got him to blame. I should have taken some of you Werdy but I was too lazy to get up in time!

This hill looks easy enough, doesn't it? It wasn't. It was suck-the-life out of you hard. They called it a run-up, but if you didn't ride it your day would be done in short order.

Yeah, just another one of those "short" climbs. The turn at the bottom was scarier than shit the first 3 times down it.

Another Werdy shot - yeah the Green Monster is still there but it's not the conversation piece it once was - too many other tougher features to deal with - the flyover was a place to rest.

What's more fun than eating dirt? Looking at the machines you race in the dirt.

One of my reasons for going to races like this, other than getting my ass kicked, is to see all the gear. If you love cross gear, there's nothing like a USGP of Cyclocross race to see all the latest gear, bikes, tires, wheels, and pros at work ...

Pros like Barry Wicks. All the 'cross pros are real people. Not like bike racers at all.

A pretty little SS. The guy actually raced this beauty. Dumb-ass. This bike is for style only, I don't care what you say. Anodazzler, isn't it?

Our friend Mike Hewitt. The man behind the race, and in this photo he's the man in front of the Green Monster. Thanks for another great race Mike!

Kim and Barb Saive. Barb is also an essential element in putting this race on. Sorry about the focus Barb, yeah I was drunk ... and I had to race the next day! No wonder I sucked ...

Is it Gregory Peck? Clark Gable? George Clooney's unknown brother Fred? No, it's Werdy, looking way too serious for an event this goofy.

Happy Michiganders in Kentucky Sunshine and Dust.

Just a few of the Michigan Gang: Griff, Heather, Jeff (Werdy) and Kim. Not pictured from our group was Cupcake, Brian, Nancy, and Tom Burke who slayed it pretty good for starting way back on the grid in a super-pro stacked race featuring the likes of Tim Johnson, J-Pow, Trebon, Barry Wicks, Jesse Anthony and more. Also not pictured are the boys and gals from Tailwind which really represented Michigan. There must have been about 15 people or more from the East Side - with good results too. Mike Wissink took 3rd on Day one (not sure about Day 2) Card won Day 1 45+. Also on hand were the Team Sandbaggers - Osgood, Potacki - Rhinos - Jan, Mark, Ann Swartz and so many more I can't remember them all ...

More Michigan friends - John Osgood center, Kurt Potocki, right. These guys really know how to have fun at a race - yeah they had their very own beer tent. And single speeds. For all of you West-Siders that are always saying that the East-siders take cross too seriously - let me introduce you to Team Sandbag.

The only good shot I got of the Heckle-a-nator Deluxe, Cupcake. She had a great weekend of heckling and racing. Well done Laura!

They love their Halloween in Louisville. Not far from the course you'll find a street of Halloween craziness like this.

... and this. It's always a part of the Derby Cup weekend.

Plus different and Un-Grand Rapids-like things to eat. Like ..

...Big bowls of Gumbo. Yeah it's race fuel folks. Stay clear of the exhaust pipes gentlemen, I'm about to light this rocket!

The only thing bad about the date was the fact that we couldn't make the Styx concert. Damn. Just love the Styx, I do. (Not really, I hate Styx, always have).

Yeah Slayer, take a good look at it. You know you want to be there. Hey, it's only a 6 hour drive. But then again maybe you hater Styx too. NaaaaaW!

Debery Cup 2010. It was fun. It was dirty. It was crazy. Glad I did it, as always - learned a lot more about cross. I'm also glad I'm back in Michigan, tired and worn-out with a garage full of filthy fucked-up bikes and a bag of grungy race clothes. I never missed rain and mud so much in my life. Dusty 'cross races just don't seem real. Even if they are real, fast and fun. Can't wait for Ann Arbor next weekend with some cool weather and rain. Now if I can just stop coughing up all that sand before the weekend!