ALMOST EPIC

After our Epic-yet-Non-Epic ride on Tuesday we were set to experience a truly Epic ride on Thursday as the rain came down for most of the day and poured pretty heavily just before roll time. The Crazy Bastards that showed for this possibly Epic ride included CD, Doez, Dan the Man, Marshall, Jeff Z, and your humble Surly narrator.

While the rain let up just as we rolled out, it wasn't long before I started collecting some pretty nice splatter. We categorized the mud as either diarrhea or peanut butter in consistancy. Yummy stuff, huh?

It wasn't long before the ride took a real turn toward Epic when we all dove for cover at the sound of a shotgun blast - at extremely close range. But of course it wasn't a shotgun, it was just Marshall's "tubeless" wheels exploding. If you haven't heard a tubeless wheel "let go," it's Epically loud! Mechanicals are always a good way to get going Epic, and trying to remount a tubeless set-up on a muddy road is certainly toying with Epic.

This is the best shot of Marshall I took all night. You can see that after only a few miles he's already acquired a nice "skid mark."

We rode on without another incident, so the ride could hardly be considered Epic, I guess. At least I looked like I had achieved some sort of Epic-Ride-a-tude with a diarrhea spattered face, legs, and bike.

A lot for that mud was from this guy's wheel. Dan The Man certainly can chew up the road and spit it out. Some motor he's got. He rode home after the ride ...

Back in the lot we quickly rehydrated ourselves with appropriate recovery drinks. Here's CD with a Giant Recovery Beverage in hand.

While everyone in the group was absolutely filthy, Doez managed to stay very, very clean. In fact in this photo he looks a lot like MR. CLEAN, doezn't he?

Here's a look at my once clean bike. Total road diarrhea all over the poor thing. Time to build another 'cross bike. This one has had it.

Before heading to the Honey Creek for some solid food, and possibly more recovery drinks, I popped one of my favorites. A nice blond Belgie Leffe.

Speaking of blonds, it wasn't too long after finishing our Fried Carp and Blue Gills that we were called over to this table to explain ourselves. It turns out that they are known locally as the "Nugent Sisters" for whom one of our favorite roads to ride "Ted Nugent Highway" is named. They had all sorts of questions about biking and so on. They also suggested that we should change the name of our "Gang" from Crazy Bastards to "Bald Crazy Bastards." Thanks Nugent Sisters! I only wished I had asked them about their dad, Ted.

One of the Nugent Sisters was particularly engaging and vivacious. She's a real estate agent from South Carolina. She tried to talk me into some nice lake property on a beautiful lake in South Carolina. As she talked to me I think she dropped something into my drink ...

Pretty soon she starting looking like this ...

And this morning I woke up owning lake property that looked like this ...

Now if that's not Epic, I don't what is.