Waterford Day 1: Find What You Love and Let it Kill You

"Find what you love and let it kill you."

The above is a great Charles Bukowski quote, which I think I have actually heard Osgood, aka Chunky Dunker, use as a race heckle. Or maybe not. More like ... "find what you love and let it drive insane Chunky..." like cross. By the way, if you weren't there today you should know that Osgood is taking over the roll of Bob Wydra, racing in something like 13-races a day.

First race of the year to fly the Bastard flag. It was a tough day, but nice to be back in the saddle again. Oh yeah, I sucked.

In terms of weather Waterford Day 1 offered everything rain to shine ... but it was all pretty warm ... but not too warm. Great day for cylocross, with a sweet course that was just right ... plus the rain softened up what is sometimes bumpy ground. Very nice. Plus they didn't put in those stupid, goddamn yellow 2x4 pieces of shit. Thanks you Mr. Course Designer. Job well done.

New for 2013 are these Official Tailwind Leopard Pants™. Yeah, that Ms. Tailwind herself rocking those "bad boys."

Lot of spectators, junk, tents and kids running all over the place. It's starting to look like a Chicago Cross Cup race. Who does that leg belong too?

This was at the end of the day - racing over. Another nice big course that was filled with racers all day long.

Great racing, with lots of action everywhere you turned.

In the Elite Race Das German aka Sven Bauman, followed closely by the Bunny aka Adam York, showed why these guys are the best cyclocross racers you'll see anywhere - and in Michigan - no question about it.

Big Mac grinding up the hill with the Librarian in tow. "Hey you, come back! Those Sven Nys videos checked out are well overdue! And heroic effort by the way. Well done"

 Westside heroes Big Mac aka Adam McIntyre and Shawn Davison made the Day one  Waterford Elite Race. Nice job by both. Adam worked hard and pushed into the top ten. Both of them will be back tomorrow (Sunday) for another throw down.

Adam looking tough - and not just from wicked facial hair sculpting.

There were a lot of kids and kid racing at Waterford, which was great to see.

 Above, John Osgood is offering tactical advice to his daughter Makeena Osgood on her very first cross race. I wonder if he gave her the same advice he gives everybody else: "Now honey if you're NOT tasting blood in the back of your throat, you're not going hard enough. Now go out there and have fun sweetie."

This young ten year old chewed up a lot of grown men. Future 'cross star here. Nice job young man!

Matt Baroli takes the kids for a warm-up lap.

Hats off to Matt Baroli and his Wolverines for all the work they are doing with the next generation of young racers. It's good to see that somebody is thinking ahead in Michigan. Great bunch of young racers, Matt. 

Makeena Osgood crosses the line, finishing her first cross race in style. 

The Osgoods, Dad and daughter at the end of a beautiful day of cyclocross racing. "Now tell the old geezer with the camera to get lost,  honey. He's smelly."

Before the beginning of the last race of the day the ladies, were, uh, like ladies. Well Maybe.

Yeah they were ladies until  the whistle for the start of the women's Cat-3/4. Sarah McIntyre listens while Anne Grovert tells  Pam Bufo how she's going to hurt her, and hurt her bad. And she did, Anne wasn't wasn't lying. Those girls are just so funny, aren't they?

Sarah McIntyre hammers up the hill, in true McIntyre style.

When it was all over they were friends again. Really you thinks so? Sarah and Pam put their best smiley-I-don't-hate-your-guts faces on for their adoring public.

A pretty podium to finish the day

Women's Cat 3/4 podium: Anne Grovert with the win, Sarah McIntyre second, Pam Bufo, third. Now it's on to Sunday's races ...

 

And one last gulp to refuel for tomorrow. 

THE MONEY SHOT: SWAMP THAING DOS

The Money Shot. JB grabs the bill, Adam McIntyre grabs the shot of the year. We'll show you how you catch such a fantastic shot later in today's program, er, blog.

It was great weather, great racing and stinking beer-belches all day long at what could be the final Swamp Thing of all time. Rumor has it that they are going to build an Alien Landing Pad (see Alien Posts here) or building some condo's for smelly college students to have sex willy-nilly in, with state sponsored birth control devices thank goodness, right here sometime during the next hundred years. So the course will be no more and kids, not free-range bunnies will be humping away where cross racers are picking dollar bills out of nearly-empty Pabst cans. So there's a real cultural loss - I guess. With the state of the economy I wouldn't hold my breath on, and I think the bums, flora and fauna that abound on the Red Cedar Course are safe for now. On Sunday the course was in great shape, and was mowed down to the nub, and the bumps were a little less jarring thanks to some water in the ground.

The Usual Suspects x 2: It takes two, apparently to ride Adam McIntyre's Big Boy Bike. Adrienne O’Day and Susan Shaw have to team up to make the Giant Ridley a go-go.

A host of the usual suspects from East and West showed up for a nice relaxing day of racing at Swamp Thing II, and were all out  drinking, cheering and heckling our favorites, and not so favorites around the course.

Talk about Usual Suspects. Don Cameron leans on his weapon and thinks to himself, "Who's next and where do you want it?"

Queen Anne in hot pursuit of another victory in the Women's Elite. In the Single Speed race she was in pursuit of something else. What was it, and what did it look like?

What Anne was chasing looked kinda of like this. Note to self: never buy a white skinsuit.

If there had been an announcer at Swamp Thaing Dos, he would have been screaming himself hoarse calling the battle between Queen Anne and the Uno Blanco Sausage. What a fight! What a stuffed casing!

Yeah the SS race it was like watching somebody dangle a Giant Single Speed White Sausage in front of the Queen for the entire un-gawdly 40-minute of that horror-show. No one seemed to care that Mike Seaman was literally ripping the "gear" off his bike to stay in front of Patrick. no, we were mesmerized with the White Sausage of Single Speeding - whoever in the hell that guy was.. Anne got close enough to put some mustard on the WSoSS but couldn't eat the whole thing.

Speaking of chasing the casing, Cupcake had a great race. Here she is spell checking "Surrender the Booty" on Susan Shaw's kit.

After a couple of podiums the McIntyre's relax and heckle their new ex-friends. Flying Rhino, Paul is obscured by the sunshine.

Better shot of Paul as he refuels right after his race.

I love racing on golf courses. So smooth. So pro. Hey, who the hell is this guy? And when's my Tee-Time?

No hotdogs here, mister. Jan shows some sinewy leg muscles while we sat drinking some delicious Pabst Blue Ribbon beers, watching hime work making our plans for the money shot trap.

And more Usual Suspects. 

These are the "Usual" Usual Suspects you'll find trashing themselves at every Swamp Thaing race. Well done guys, let us know when you get work-release, you need to cut some new course.

NOW, BACK TO GETTING THE MONEY SHOT

If you want to get the perfect "Money Shot," you need to bait the trap correctly. Here I am doing the best work I did all day.

Here's the trap, set perfectly. Make sure you leave some ballast at the bottom so the can doesn't blow over, or tip too early. A little beer, a little spit will do, thank you.

Here's the run in to the trap. Set it and just wait for the fool(s) to make the grab. Now, the next thing you need to do is get a top-notch photographer ... here were our choices:



The Technician. Psycho for details.

 His shots are wonderful, but he's slow and old like me. And that "Can you hold that for a minute ..." just doesn't work during a race.

The Artist: "work for me baby."

 There's a lot of emotion, hot chicks and bullshit in everything he does. He's seen Blow-up 100-times, and the Eyes of Laura Mars 500-times. We like him by but we didn't have enough beer and JB hadn't shaved his legs real "smooth" for the race that day.

Ready-for-anything shooter. Let's fill the Hurt Locker with beer today, okay?

This guy can always get the shot, and he was dressed about right - especially for the way that JB was driving the bike that day - plus he had the helmet in the "on" position which we heard was a requirement at Swamp Thaing races now. Unfortunately he had UCI World Champ Stripes on his underwear and got DQd.

This is who made the Money Shot happen. Adam McIntyre with Sarah McIntyre on training ride.

The final result - too much awesome with additional color touches, by Adam McIntyre. JB Hancock in the saddle, making the grab.

BONUS VIDEO SWAMP THAING DOS

Caught this at the last minute. A short, music filled video of the race that day. Enjoy!