The Numbers Game

Yeah, it's about that time again, isn't? Soon Skip will be telling you that you've got it too high, too low, too close to your arm pit, on your ass ... wait you took your hands off the bars you're DQ'd anyway.

It's all about the numbers, isn't it? Saddle time, BPMs, wattage, EPO injections, mileage, psi, cadence, mph ... and so on. But the only one that really counts is the one you pin on that gets counted. Without it, well just stay in the care and keep playing with your iPad douchewad.

I've kept a crapload of numbers over the years to remember some of the races I've done. I see some of those in  there I should forget, too. Let's have a weiner roast, shall we? That coated paper and ink should add some flavor.

There are all sorts of numbers Some numbers, like those used at last year's USGP Derby Cup were made out of radioactive paper that could be read by gigantic x-ray machines at the finish line no matter where you pinned it.

Old school pinning ... well there are masters of the game. Like Bob, who pinned on so many numbers in one day that he needed a blood transfusion from sticking himself.

There are also also sorts of number placement, too. I really like the placement of this pair, myself.

On some kits it doesn't matter where you put the number, you're not going to see it, Look at this too long looking for a number and you're likely to have a seizure.

Of course before you pin, you have to get it. It's about that time of year when you start lining up to get your number. Always my favorite part of race day.

Wouldn't it be nice if we all just had our own number? All of our kits would be printed with it and it would be the same for every race. No waiting in line. No pinning. They could just scan it for payment as we passed the finish line for the registration fee like a speed pass.

Now for the ultimate number pinning video of all time. Watch and enjoy - since it's snowing like a shit storm and riding it out of the question for a few hours - And start collecting those safety pins and filling the ashtray with the sticky little buggers. The season is upon us. And don't crumble the goddamn thing either.