CRAZY BASTARDS BIRD RIDE REPORT

This is a dramatic depiction of our ride Tuesday Night - when we were attacked by insane birds!

Great ride last Tuesday. Plenty of riders and the roads were in good to fair condition, with just a little bit of ice, but not much. Temps were mild, and well it was just a better than average Crazy Bastard ride until ... the birds attacked!

I could go on for hours about how it all went down but I thought this dramatic recreation of the incident would be far more helpful. In the video below I'm played by Tippi Hedren, who bear a striking resemblence to me. We've replaced the bicycle with a boat and the slippery gravel road with the ocean, but I think you'll get the idea. Rod (what's his face) plays the part of Dr. Phil who was also attacked by one of the birds. Dr. Phil looks nothing like Rod Whatshisface, unfortunately, but you can't always have full realism in these dramatic recreations.

Back in the lot, having recovered from the incident, renowned naturalists, hunter, killer and wild-thang gourmand Aaron Huntington decided to go back and look for our attacker who had been seen flying into the brush after his brush with Phil and I.

Here's a depiction of Aaron going back to look for the bird. I'm glad to report that in this artist rendering captures the real Aaron in action.

Here's Aaron going back to the spot where we were attacked. At this point we thought the attacker was a hawk.

But upon closer inspection Aaron saw the thing in flight ... probably looking for another cyclist to attack. "THWATS THWNO WHAWK! YWOUTH STHUPID CWAYZEE BWASTARDS, DWATS A BWARN BWOWL! is what I think he said.

Here's what did the attacking. The ordinary Barn Owl. Not big, but believe me they can pack a punch.

After discovering the best, Aaron was able to capture it using his wild-life and culinary skills, that well, we can't disclose here, he took it home and made it part of the family. 

Here's what happened to the Barn Owl later that night at the Huntington home ...