Cougar in a Jaguar: Dirt Road Rage

Beware the Cougar in the Jaguar. This one is going for the Isadora Duncan Full Choke Scarf in the Spokes Look.

A number of bad rides depicted here. In the foreground Isadora is about to get a severe Randy Savage Choke Hold.

Ride Report: Thursday September 18, 2012

Nice ride last night with Mike K, Tony H, Adam Mac, Sarah Mac, Dave S, Kevin, Jurrien, Julie Boonen, Craig Euo-Cross-Trash and Chris Crazyman Block along with the ride. Cooler temperatures required a few more clothes, but it's far from winter. Lights were necessary only after about 30-miles. So figure that out. It was an enjoyable ride until the last two miles (you might know this would only happen on the paved section) when a woman driving a four-door Jaguar tried to side-swipe the group, and flipped off Craig on his new Euro-Ride when he dared to complain about being run-over. Even though it was a very expensive car to be run-over in.

The Cougar behind the wheel no doubt thought she looked liked this, but, uh, sorry honey, we don't think so ...

She was probably in a hurry after a few glasses of Pinot, or something red enough to match her eyes and needed to get somewhere in a hurry to get her nails done, or even drink more wine with her Cougar friends. I'm thinking this could have been what spurred her near tragic auto-on-cross-bike attack.

She probably has a big glass like her heroine Cougar does ...

Gee, after this, I hope no bikers, with lights, on a wide open and lonely country road don't get in my way. I might have to kill them!

If she can afford a Jaguar, my guess is that our Cougar probably has this sitting in the other stall of the garage.

We're sure of all this Cougarishness because I believe Tony spotted the glass (above) rolling around on the dashboard. She's probably has the full collection at home.

Anyway, when you see a Cougar in a Jaguar, or a Cougar in Jaguar clothing, kinda of like the Black Swan gone old and extremely bad, give the cops a call.

Actually, all kidding aside here's what that Jaguar will probably look like if the Cougar keeps driving like an idiot. Let's hope not. And let's hope there's no innocent victim under that Jag when it dies.

The best news is that this incident was reported and that the police know who this is and paid her a little visit at her home last night. We'll keep you posted on the future of the Cougar, and her Jaguar. This is the first trouble we've ever had on the rides, and I hope it doesn't cause issues out there.