WEDNESDAY PRACTICE PROMISES RUNUPARIFFIC ACTION

Tonight meet around Briggs Park for some run up action. It's on Knapp between Coit and Plainfield. Make sure you lock up your car and don't leave stuff laying around. There's a little parking lot inside the park (there's a pool that's now closed). Have your running/cycling shoes on! See you. Should be set to go at around 5.

SINGLE SPEED TUESDAY LAUNCHES TONIGHT!

The SS Crosser. Simple, yet elegant. It's the little black dress of bicycles.

Just a reminder that tonight is Single Speed Tuesday. While we've called it SS Tuesday, you don't necessarily need to have a Single Speed to ride tonight, so bring whatever, mountain bikes, cross bikes, unicycles, tandems. Anyway we'll roll at 6 - though we may have to wait for Craig - wait he said he can't bring any beer tonight - so we'll be rolling promptly at 6.

Flying Bats in happier times before he knew he might be late tonight. Should we wait? He's rocking a 43 x 16 which means he will be faster than us. Plus he won't have time to bring beer. What do you think?

So choose your weapon for tonight. Ed Crickle says he's brining this thing (below). That Crickle is such a hoot, he really is.

Another choice whip in SS technology, or non-technology: The SS Mountain Bike. I don't know but the 32 x 20 might be a tad slow. But it looks good all covered in dirt, no?

Experimental single speeds are also cool. More to talk about in the parking lot.

The sand is beaten down, so I think you can leave this one home.

The Sperm Bike it always a good bet. This is what I've be racing at the Wednesday Night Practice races if I should go.

Maybe something that has way more wheels and seats than it does gears. Russ could pulls us. Yeah, he's a tough guy.

A tandem would be nice. Just heard via something called Facebot or something that we are going to have a tandem. Hadn't figured on that in the course plotting. Uh-oh.

A  two piece suit with a single speed is always nice.

Or really get minimalist with no gears at all. This happens to be Mr. Kim Lee practicing for tonight's ride. This is how he rocked the TT last night.

Here' a true single speed. Not even a chain. Don't laugh a guy raced one of these again a NYC bus and won!

With the right tire choice even the standard hipster fixie would work.

Of course too much single speeding and fixie hipsterism and this is what happens. So we're only doing this on Tuesday.

See ya

TUESDAY SINGLE SPEED AWESOMENESS WEDNESDAY RUN-UP AWE-FULNESS

Just a reminder that tomorrow will be Single Speed Tuesday on the ride, if anybody cares to join in. I'm might just bring my SS so I've got an excuse to bail-out if everybody brings carbon fiber race bikes ... and I see syringes laying all over the ground ...

Post up, all you single-speeders, and let me know if this day and concept (ONE GEAR ONE DARK LORD) works for you.

While Single Speed maybe awesome, I have special plans for this week's practice, at a new location.
For those of you that want a refresher on mounting on dismounting, you'll be able to get some.

If you need a reminder on some, but not many, of the elements include in the remount, here's a video from Cyclocross Magazine. There's nothing like a cute, elfish cyclocross online editor giving you the intro. I believe this is the girl with the COWBELL TATTOO.

And while practicing mounts and remounts is awesome, run-ups are sometimes more awful than awesome, but something that needs some practice too. I've found the perfect spot for Wednesday, so stay tuned. The terrain we'll be using will be exactly like this, except for the snow. But then again, it's Michigan, so you never know.

BASTARDLY ACTION PACKED WEEK BEGINS WITH SINGLE SPEED TUESDAY

Remember this D-Bag? Yeah if you go here you'll see this isn't the first time we've dipped our Bastard Toes into the pool of poor protoplasm that is single-speeding hipsterism.

This is the first announcement of a "proposed" Single Speed Tuesday. We've had a few single speeders out lately, and they've hung on with the determination that it seems that only a single speeding freak can muster.

Mr. Kim Lee (where's the photo of Russ?) getting ready to get his Single Speed hurt just a few rides ago. Yeah chasing guys on carbon fiber World Cup Cyclocross isn't a lot of fun when you can't shift up or down, suck, or so I remember.

After the last few rides Mr. Kim Lee and Russ were so damn proud of themselves for showing the geared guys a thing or two, they went out and got some "Good Game" knuckle tats. You guys rock!

Russ, Kim, these will go over soooooo well at work. Can't wait to get mine. Did they hurt?

In case you don't have a single speed, and want one for Tuesday, but don't necessarily want to plunk down the bucks for one, here's a video that can shows you how to build one in like 30 seconds. Okay I didn't watch it, since I have a SS sitting in the garage, looking lonely and unused (whispering Tuesday I'll fix your ass buddy), I did notice that to make a single speed you need just a few tools and need to wear some khaki shorts with no shoes or socks. Oh yeah. I love wrenching in bare feet. Just don't drop the fucking screwdriver, okay?

Okay, if you don't want to watch the video, here's my own tutorial on making one.

One the front end, nearest the front wheel and the handle-bars you need something that looks like this:

In the back, nearest the rear wheel and the place where your ass goes, sometimes called the bicycle seat, you need something that looks like this:

While these bikes are called single speeds, which I guess refers to the fact that they only go one speed - which isn't true because they can go as fast or as slow as you pedal – I thing they should be called Two Gear Bikes because they have two gears, one in front and in back. While I may disagree with the SS naming convention, I'm all over the name that the good folks at Redline gave my bike:

Yeah, you Dirty Mudder Fuc@#%ers!

Any, this Tuesday break out your Single Speed, or bikes with just to gear rings. I believe that there are a few of you out there: Jurrien, Craig (Flying Bats) Kim Lee, Russ, myself, and oh ... I don't know who else, but maybe you'll show up just for the beer. I have a super single speed route plotted out in my mind (somewhere you don't want to go) and it should be fun - it's going to be filled with surprises, kids, to be there!

Here's one of the Bastards that should have a Single Speed. She's got the attitude already, all she needs is one of those Bikes-With-Two-Gear-Rings:

What the hell? Too much road racing, she's finally cracked folks. Somebody get this woman an heckle horn and a cross bike before she gets a knuckle tattoo!

THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS IN CRAZY BASTARDVILLE

Let's review the week and all that we learned, shall we?

Well moving to the most immediate past,  here's the report on last night's ride: it was simply 35 miles of awesomeness with a flat and a couple of mechanicals thrown in so you didn't think you'd died and gone to heaven. Conditions were much better after rain had rolled down the deep sand and made the riding easier, and faster. Good group with Jurriein D providing some sweet pulls, Chris V, Kim Lee, Russ (riding his SS) Adam Mac, Sarah Mac, Jeff Haney, Amy Haney, Jeff Z, Craig R, Scott W, Connie and the Tijuana Bastard Dog aka the Killer Chihuahua.

After one of the best sprints I have ever seen last night - chasing down a flying Scott W - the Killer Chihuahua is congratulated by TdF winner Cadel Evens.

It was a fast pace, and I almost thought about rolling off and seeing what 17 MPH looked like on the odometer for a while but was bribed (like who would want to do that?) into rejoining the ride with exotic beers and deep fried asian carp. Glad I did. Absolutely perfect night for a ride.

Now here's another video report from Tuesday night's ride, as captured by Big Mac. The beautiful way in which Big Mac retells history in his own cinematic, and more-interesting-way than it really was makes me think that he's something like the next Oliver Stone. Wait, that's not a compliment, is it? Okay George Lucas.

Here's Tuesday's ride in a "Nut" shell, for sure:



Thanks Big Mac for another delicious Crazy Bastard based video. Nice work!

Now onto the practice. One of the best practices of the year, not so much time was spent and "hammer time" and more was spent on "skillzzzzz."

I'm with awesome. That's what we'd all like to think Sarah. Sarah McIntyre was out for another practice, showing off here skillz and fancy socks.

Nice retro look Sarah.

Another handsome devil, Shawn Davison came out to hop some barriers and turn some corners.

Sarah being chased down by the relentless Kim Thomas, just back from 'cross camp.

Cupcake, being chased down by Shawn D. A long week of riding and racing for the Cupcake. Here's she's pondering the correct entrance to the hairpin and what she'll be drinking after the Ladies Ride on Thursday.

Last, but certainly not least, is Jeff H, Slayer showing how it's done at full speed. You'll notice even though he's going through the tightest and slowest turn on the course that the background action is blurred. Yeah, he's flying. The cap of the night, after a brief rain showers, was a match race between Haney and Big Mac. I'll post the results of that race next week. Have a fun week of riding. We're planning on riding on Tuesday. Maybe we also better include a little barrier practice at Townsend since the following day is a training race and I don't want to lose anybody to barrier "impact" at the beginning of the season. If you don't think it can happend, check with this guy:

Jeff Z's advice for participating in first-timer prepped course: make sure they pound down the rebar. Hey that's why we practice on plastic kids.

Also one last piece of business. In an effort to give everyone a truly ridiculous nickname, we've started researching a name for one of our newest members. As he seems to always be "dancing on his pedals" and itching for a sprint, even 5 miles from the nearest stop ahead since, we thought of things like Dan The Dancing Bear, and Dan, Dan the Dancing Machine. If you don't remember Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine, here's at taste:



No in researching the name "Dancing Bear" I was horrified to learn that the "Dancing Bear" is some kind of male stripper. If you'd like to see this kind of Dancing Bear, click on Dancing Bear, but let me warn you, this is NSFW. DANCING BEAR VIDEO HERE.

Now here's a better Dancing Bear, and I think that I like the sound of Dancing Bear. But put in your two cents. Now enjoy a Dancing Bear that's safe for any environment.

THE SORRY TRUTH ABOUT SURLY - XTRANORMAL VIDEO BY BIG MAC

Between practice news: while I'm horrified to see myself as others see me, I'm not that surprised to learn what an idiot I am. Thanks Big Mac. Thanks Cupcake. Thanks Betty. Thanks Simon Burney. You all suck.


Surly and Cupcake
by: adammcintyre84


I'll be posting up a practice report in the morning - along with a ride call for tomorrow. Hey, it's Thursday already? Well guess I'm back into the altitude tent again tonight. Where's my chocolate milk? My legs ache.

PRACTICE TONIGHT (MAYBE) RIDE REPORT YOU BETCHA

Check back later to see if practice is on tonight. If it rains, or the grass it too wet, it's a NO-GO. Right now, it's  GO! So get your barrier shoes on kids we've got some new riders and it looks we'll be doing some hopping on and off. I need some work on that too. We'll also discuss future practices, days and locations. BY THE FUCKING WAY: There's a difference between practice and learning some good 'cross technique and a training race to get your fitness level up. We'll continue to have practices on days to be named later to fit around most people's schedules, it it's worthwhile. If you don't know the difference between practice and racing there are extra bandages and neosporin in the Grandpa van. 

 

Happy Tuesday ride to you too, Cupcake!

Nice group and nice ride despite a little tire rubbing. Somebody even knocked down Mr. Kim Lee for no good reason. Don't know why, he's a nice guy. Well maybe not. You tell me.

Mr. Kim Lee in stop action photography. Yeah, it's like the National Geographic channel, isn't it?

See the difference? See how fast he did that? On that SS that's about as fast as he was, too. It was painful to watch. I don't know why he just doesn't shift gears. And that's MISTER KIM LEE to you pal!

Flying Bats (aka Craig R) just rolling around waiting for his pit crew to arrive with his new carbon CX bike. I hope they aren't drinking again.

The hint of something Belgique to come? You bet. Every night somebody brings an new and awesome cross bike to the ride.

Yeah that's the R you want. I think it stands for "'R'AWSOME!"

Not a great shot, but it's Adam Big Mac McIntyre's new Ridley. Fantastic!

An another "almost" shot of the elusive (I mean getting a shot of this guy is like trying to capture Big Foot on camera) Redline Bastard (aka Jazzy Jeff, aka Jeff Z).

What a crew. A couple of people loos like they are resting their knees. Yeah I like to rest my knees too. It feels good.

After a long punishing ride, here's what happens. Hipsterism in the parking lot. Rolled jeans. PBR in a long neck with the classic bottle neck hold. Horrible fucking attitude. Cupcake is apparently working on her 'cross image for 2011. She seems to be practicing for the Heckle Horn right now.

See you tonight at Practice. Maybe.

HAPPY TUESDAY RIDE TONIGHT

TUESDAY 08.22.11

(Look for the Happy Tuesday Sign. It's the mark of Crazy Bastard Riding Goodness.)

Just so you don't miss it, and end up at the Park tonight for practice this is a reminder that we're riding out of Townsend tonight instead. We'll practice tomorrow. Details to follow. Like tomorro.

We'll roll at 6 tonight, so be ready. There may be refreshments in the parking lot, as well. So be prepared. That would mean bringing a bottle opener so you can open the beer somebody else thoughtfully lugged out there. Thanks again Craig!

 The route I've planned goes by this sign (above) so you'll know you're on the Happy Tuesday Ride, and not on the Mildly Amused Thursday or It Doesn't Exist Wednesday Ride.

Join in the fun. Be ready to roll. If you see a crew that looks anything like this, you'll know it's Tuesday!

TUESDAY-RIDE WEDNESDAY-PRACTICE THURSDAY-RIDE?

It's been brought to my attention that many of you want to ride on Tuesday, and not practice on Tuesday, but that you'd like to practice on Wednesday, and then ride again on Thursday.

(The leaves aren't falling yet, but this is one of my favorite ride photos of all time - just in case you needed to get in the "ride more mood.")

While this all makes a lot of tiring sense to me, I thought I'd put it out there and see who cares to do what on what day. If we can't come to an amiable agreement (and so far the whole thing has been terribly amiable) I will have to enlist a Ride Czar and a Practice Czar to make the final decision on which days we ride and practice.

Here are my potential Ride and Practice Czars putting their heads together and thinking about days for practice and riding:

(The douche on the left is the Ride Czar (potential) and other one is the Practice Czar.)

I don't know about you but I wouldn't trust these people if the told me you could get coffee at a Starbucks much less directing my training schedule. So If you know what's good for you (sounds threatening, but it isn't) you'll indicate your preferences on which days you'd like to practice, and which days you'd like to ride in the comment section (below).

The more we ride (twice a week) the more chance we have of seeing amazing scenes like these.

People like this.

Couples like this. Say they look a lot like the Ride & Practice Czar, don't they?

Strange and mysterious night riders like this.

Happy people like these happy people.

More happy people. And who wouldn't be happy here ..

This guy again ...

And finally a little something for me at the end of a good night's ride ...

Comment on your preference, and if it's too hard to make it ... right now it's:

RIDE TUESDAY TOWNSEND PARK ROLL @ 6

PRACTICE @ 5:30 @ LOCATION TO BE ANNOUNCED EACH WEEK

RIDE THURSDA TOWNSEND PARK ROLL @ 6