CHEAP, EASY & DIRTY

When I say cheap, easy and dirty, I'm not talking about the new friends I made  at the local Washo-o-mat last week, I'm talking about my new whip, pictured above (this photo doesn't show all the cool shit I put on my ride like the sparkle streamers, Ronald McDonald bell, and the luggage rack and Pokemon stickers). While I am a professed non-mountain-biker, I have been dabbling in the dirt, in between road rides, with this SS rigid 29" thingie that seems to perfectly complement my single-track slowness and abject suckiness. It's also a great conveyance for taking taking the dog for a walk - without actually walking.

 I have told by "friends" (yeah, like I believe that) that I have been "spotted" out on the local trails, by unnamed sources (like spies that hide in the woods  I guess). They talk about seeing me riding a mountain bike in much the same way that you'd talk about to catching a glimpse of Sasquatch in broad daylight. It's like, if you don't have a picture of me riding a mountain bike, maybe it never really happened.

Anyway, I've found that riding a mountain bike really isn't that difficult and that any dork can do it - especially when it has as few moving parts as this thing has. I mean if this bike didn't have wheels on it you could probably pound nails with it or use to jack up your car when you have a flat. The only part about mountain biking I'm having trouble with right now is the part where you sit around in the parking lot for two hours doing nothing but talking with other mountain bikers and drinking cheap, warm beer. I mean, how the hell do you do that?