MUD MARTINI: WET OR DRY?

I'm told there are a couple of ways that you can have your martini - just like you can have your dirt road ride. The basic choices in the classic martini, pictured above, are wet or dry – which may also be the same choices we get, like it or not, in the road conditions encountered tonight. (Anybody riding by the way?)
In addition to having a choice of wet or dry roads or drinks you also get a choice of females with your martini - much in the same we've been getting a choice of girl-on-girl sports along our Bastard routes of late. Here's something classic pictured above that's neither mud-wrestler or soccer.

Or maybe we'll get a cartoon girl in our martini-ride. This represents riding with mountain bikers, I guess.

Of course we could also get a load of slop right in our faces which is what I'm thinking might be waiting on the other side of the proverbial olive.

Or if the wind and warm temperatures continue, it could be dry and fast mud. That's kind of like getting Grey Goose at Arrow Vodka prices.
Dry roads would also be like being handed a sweet and curvy Appletini! It would taste great going down, and taste simply awful coming up! (Fun but not a great work-out.)

Or you you could end up with something like Kahuna and Dave did the other night - that's when you leave your cell phone in your martini when you really need it with you on the ride to call your wife to come get you 'cause your freewheel died.

Finally, and the most unfortunate ride and martini of all is the dirty martini, represented above. I guess this is what you would get if you mix all the varieties of ride conditions and martinis together and drink them all down at once. I'm guessing this (above) and a dirty bike is what you'll wake up with Wednesday morning ...