Grand Rapids Bicycle Film Fest

Bastards,

Tis the time-oh-year again. If you haven't seen if splattered over ther Facebook yet, the long list of info is below. The short of it is, Wealthy Theatre, February 13th, cycling movie night. It's the same day as the 2nd Versluis snow cross. Do the snow cross in the afternoon, see the movie fest at night.

Later Bastards

Werdy

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THE 3RD ANNUAL GRAND RAPIDS BICYCLE FILM FESTIVAL

We're at it again. This time with the support of:
The Western Chapter of the Michigan Mountain Bike Association
The Rapid Wheelmen
Grand Rapids BMX

We are running both a matinee and an evening show this year. Feel free to attend one or both shows.

MATINEE SHOW:
Doors open at 2:30. Movies from 3-5pm.Pre-sale tickets are $5. Day of tickets are $7.The matinee is a BMX themed event in the Koning Micro Theatre.

EVENING SHOW:
Doors open at 6:30. Movies from 7-10pm.Pre-sale tickets are $13. Day of tickets are $15.The evening show has movies running in both the main theater (Wege Auditorium) and the Koning Micro Theatre. We have a collection of cycling shorts, documentaries, great cinematography, and a couple local production efforts included.

PRE-SALE TICKETS:
Pre-sale tickets can be purchased in person at Wealthy Theatre or on line at: http://www.grcmc.org/index.php?page=events&event_id=2137

DAY OF TICKETS:
Day of tickets are available on site before the show.

MOVIE LINE UP:
Cycling shorts from around the world.

FatBike (Cycling in Anchorage Alaska - http://alaskabikeblog.blogspot.com/2009/07/fat-bike.html)

Into the Thunder Dragon (Mountain Unicycling in the Himalayas - http://www.krisholm.com/khu/about/films)

Stompin’ Stu (The Story of Legendary BMX racer Stu Thomsen - http://www.stompinstu.com/)

Joe Kid on a Sting Ray (The History of BMX - http://www.joekidonastingray.com/)

Plus we have two local submissions. We're giving a nod to the local efforts on this one.

OTHER IMPORTANT STUFF:
CASH BAR!!!! Founders IPA on tap.
Pizza by the slice from Brickroad Pizza
200 - 300 of your cycling friends.

Profits go to the benefit of Grand Rapids BMX, Michigan Youth Cycling, The Midwest Mountain Bike Summit, and future GR Bicycle Film Festivals.

VERSLUIS SNOW CROSS TOMORROW!

Tomorrow's the day boys and girls. BE THERE!

FRIED RUMBLE FISH

While temperatures warmed considerably, icy conditions prevailed once again making riding dangerous-to-suicidal, especially for someone of my brittle and advanced years. As a consolation, we (Bats, Simple, Redline, Mike V, CD, Studboy, and myself) all decided to head back early and some of us went on to the Honey Creek for a few beers and some Delicious Baskets of Deep Fried Asian Carp. Yum-mee. 

While the American Bar Association has erroneously declared (IMHO) that being old and riding a mountain bike is begging for a beating, we soon found that riding any kind of two-wheeled vehicle is like wearing a PUNCH ME sign around your neck. 

We took our usual table and ordered a round of Delicious Fried Asian Carp and beers. Before we could take a sip or crunch a fried fin we were suddenly accosted by a gang, (not a club), of female Cross Country Skiers bent on doing us bodily harm. These "ladies" demanded our table, telling us we were just "stupid bicyclists" and didn’t deserve to live, much less have a six top to ourselves. When we didn't move fast enough the fists began to fly.

Studboy Nightrider was the first to feel the fury of the female skiers, and a solid sock to the jaw had him spitting tartar sauce all over the place.

Ouch! I didn’t even see this sweet, short, left hand coming. No Mas Little Lady! 

CD probably got the worst of it with a right hook that looked like it came from the dark side of the moon. “I drove all the way from Holland to get my ass kicked by a girl? And where’s my damn Fried Asian Carp?” I think he said, blood dripping from his lip.

Flying Bats got suckered punched good and proper by one of the leaders of the gang. While he didn’t seem to enjoy it too damn much, she seemed to think it was as delicious as a full basket of Deep Fried Asian Carp and a Guiness on the side. What a sweetheart!

The only one of our group to escape this savage attack was Mike V. His dashing good looks and suave manner made them spare him. Unfortunately the gang also abducted him and we may never see him alive again.

But oh well, we all shared the basket of Carp he left behind in the parking lot. That heater in the Grandpa Van Rocks!

THURSDAY'S THAW RIDE?

Could it be the thaw we've been waiting for? Or is it just another ice-making mess? No matter, it looks like warmer temps could be with us tonight - probably the cold weather was frightened by Red's Gladiator Gloves. Looks like some of the South-West Bastards will also be joining us tonight. Should be fun or something like it.

CAN'T WE ALL JUST RIDE ALONG?

New Crazy Bastard Winter Mitts

by Redline Bastard

While last night's ride was an enjoyable one, I am sad to report there has been some fallout from some comments that may or may not have been said or may have or may have not been overheard by members of the "other" ride that now launches from the same lot, at the same time, riding the same routes, and stopping at the same bar after the ride, as we do.

I received a call from an attorney representing the "other" group ride this morning claiming that a member of our group was "confrontational" and "threatening." I can't tell you how disturbing receiving this news was especially since I had not had my morning coffee and was not in a very good mood to start with. I tried to explain that while there may have been a few jokes made while riding out, they weren't meant to be heard, and there was nothing confrontational, and certainly no threatening gestures made. If anyone was offended by my own, sometimes surly and sarcastic sense of humor, I do apologize, and assure everyone those comments shouldn't be taken seriously.

The attorney pointed out that members of the group were older gentlemen and that it wasn't their fault that they ride mountain bikes. Neither of those points made much sense, but then again, I am not an attorney. The reference to old age did hit however a nerve however. I have just recently turned 58 years of age. As I enter my golden years the prospect of being mugged by some young "thug" on a dark and snowy night, in the middle-of-nowhere, isn't very appealing. Thankfully, I've never seen a young thug on any of these rides, except for the those at the Meth Lab that come out screaming at us.

I plan to contact members of the other group directly, apologize, and assure them that they and the other riders need not fear for their lives or well being. I also plan to tell them that they are not being discriminated against because they are almost as old as I am, or because they ride mountain bikes.

On another note, Redline Bastard has hand-crafted some really sweet winter riding mitts (pictured above) that not only keep your fingers toasty- warm but will probably protect your knuckles should you happen to get into a brawl with other senior citizens.

WINTER BLUNDERLAND

This year I just can't seem to shake this stinking Abominable Snowman theme. Wonder why. As I prepare for tomorrow and Thursday's frigid and icy experiences, and no I'm not talking about when you were married, crazy ideas for new and strange warming devices, like delivery pizza chest warmers, pouring hot grazy in my boots, and other accoutrements, like studded tires made out of ice-picks and barbed wire, all start coming to mind. It's like this winter riding thing has turned my brain into some kind of weird laboratory run by a mad scientist that looks a lot like Peter Cushing. So if I see Peter Cushing in the parking lot tomorrow night, drinking beer, riding around on a winter Frankenbike made out of parts from a Surly Long Haul Trucker, a Klein MTB and a Cervelo TT Bike, I'll know the end is near. Also rumor has MC Hammer will be in the house Thursday, if by house you mean a dark dirt road covered with ice.

Lake Winter Boots SIZE 46

If anyone is interested I am selling my Lake Winter Boots - $100