CRAZY BASTARD NAKED BIKE RIDE TONIGHT!

Are you kidding me? There's no Naked Bike Ride tonight, you'd freeze your yabbies off up yonder here in Michigan. But there will be a ride tonight, and with clothes on, I've been told. Sorry I can't be there but it should be fun ... before the snow-monsoon hits this weekend.

Just in case you want to have a Naked Bike Ride, well here's how they do it in Madison Wisconsin (last June when it was warm), home of the perpetual protest and Cheese Head. I guess they know how to do both - protest and wear a Cheese Head, 'cause they're both in here.

This protest, beside being against clothes, is also against oil and a few other things. Since these folks have a got a big hate-on for oil, I'm thinking there's probably a lot squeaky chains, dry bottom brackets (hahahah!) on this ride. The best part in is at about 1:45 when the guy starts describing the right kind of seat for his naked ass.

This video isn't just NSFW it's kind of disgusting, too. I can see why those people in Wisconsin are protesting all the time. I would too if everybody looked like this!

Hey pass the cheese plate! I'm not gross enough yet.

NOT SAFE FOR WORK NAKED BIKE RIDE VIDEO

Second thought, I'm a no-go for the Naked Bike Ride thing.

WE KEEP ON MOVING WITH THE LIGHTS ON: RIDE REPORT

With a number of Bastards defecting to the road, because I assume it's easier and you don't have to clean your bike after a ride and so on, it was a small but jumpy and fast bunch last night with Big Mac, seen below, Specialized Steve, seen later on, Randy, Redline Bastard, and myself, not seen at all, all out for a pleasant spin in the neighborhood, chatting about the racing last weekend, draft beers, and Goose Island being bought by Budweiser, and who's the best caterer and so on. You know, biker talk.

A bright, bright Big Mac. Yeah, he's as bright as he looks. Almost.

I didn't take a lot of photos, but it was beautiful out last night. Great to finally see where we were riding for a change. Not to mention the giant high rise office building that went up on Ashley and the 70 story tall Tower on Nugent. Amazing we didn't see them before, but hey, it was dark.

Steve, he's de-booting in the back of the Stevemobile after a nice ride. You care, right?

While some of you might find the photo of Steve taking off his boots in the back of his car exciting (you need help, okay) and some of you may find it kinda of oh-yeah-so what, I took this photo to show you light conditions at the end of our ride at 8'oclock. Yeah, I didn't bring lights to the parking lot to light this, this is mother natures soft box. No lights needed! It's nice seeing where we're going - plus I didn't have to drag that damn car battery around. That thing's heavy!

BARRY ROUBAIX FINISH

While I have been anxiously awaiting news from the BRX (I have not personally received any) I found this waiting for me on FB this morning. Created by Bark C (let me know you're the name of your video production company so I can give you full credit) it shows a kind of "cut them off at the pass" type of finish normally associated with old westerns where the bad guys cut ahead of the good guys and bushwack them before they cross the finish line. While the commentator noted "that sucks" I'm not sure who it sucked for. The guys who ducked across the line first (maybe they would have been way ahead anyway if they hadn't taken a wrong turn) or the guys that got cut off at the pass. Any way, this is a usual "wrong way" finish and happens quite often bike racing.

No sooner had I finished the above posting, I discovered a video interview with the guy (Mike Anderson) on CyclingDirt, that cut the others off at the pass and essentially bushwacked them at the line. Seems like a nice guy, and a good sportsman. It appears that "cutting them off at the pass" is not acceptable and he was disqualified (he would have been 3rd!) which means he won't be getting any Hammergel. Still he took it really well, hats off to him. I can't really figure out why 'bushwacking' in a Killer Gravel Road race is off the table. Muh!

Watch more video of Barry-Roubaix: The Killer Gravel Road Race on cyclingdirt.org

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE BRX

While I just "curated" (robbed) this off today BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz wrong answer video-buzzer, I had to wonder how in the hell did Bike Snob get behind-the-scenes video of a BRX racer preparing for his biggest race of the year? Yeah, this is what's going on all over the West Michigan, hell even the entire the Midwest, as racers prepare for the Killer Gravel Road Race with over something like 30,0000 feet of climbing. That's like 6 miles! At the top you should be seeing airliners go by. Anyway, I sure hope no one gets injured in this "Killer" cycling event. Good luck to all!

THE REAL ALI-G SHOW - CROSS VERSLUIS SNOWCROSS STYLE

Met Ali G in Luuueeevillle before it moved to the dust bowl. Quite a character. He was a X-Games Snowboarder-maniac before he got into to cross. He and Mike Wissink have whupped on each other in the Master's 35 in the USGP for the last few years, it's be great to watch. Great video here, looks like he knows how to ride the snow, duh, but also glad to see he makes some of the same "errors" that ordinary humans make on a bike. The crashapotomis.

The Real Ali G Show episode 5 from The Real Ali G Show on Vimeo.

CROSS RACING FOR MONEY

Another great video from our friends at Cyclocross Magazine. I recall losing a couple of spots (and then getting them back) trying to find a place to stuff dollar bills during the race at Bloomer Park last year. It's not easy kids. See how it's done here by some crazy cross racers in Utah, yeah Utah.

RIDE TONIGHT - FACING THE FIERCENESS OF MOTHER NATURE

Anybody feel like riding tonight? Anybody feel like getting caught horrid weather? It could be great training for the Barry Roubaix, or even the Fisk Knob TT this coming weekend, so there's a reason to be there. Let me know - barely need to charge the light, but will anyway just in case I get "blown away" and have to hike-a-bike back home. Check this video out (wrong answer video from a recent BSNYC Friday Quiz), because this could be what it's like - yeah, it's March boys and girls.

DOWNHILL STREET RACING SOMEWHERE NOT HERE

Thanks to Kahuna for sharing this video of him slaying a little "Crazy Bastard" downhill racing on his latest trip abroad. From the language I hear in the video I assume that he was in Switzerland or Germany. Another thing I noticed is that it doesn't matter how far in this world you go, you can always be sure of one thing - if you're doing a bike race that has more than 35¢ involved there's going to be a douchebag from the UCI there to give you shit you really don't need, just when you don't want it. If that was a UCI event you can call me Paris Hilton. Oh well, where's my poodle?

Personally I thought it was a nice touch that Kahuna wore the same pinstripe suit he wears to client meetings to race in. Kahuna, that UCI guy can go to hell! Also, Kahuna, nice job not hitting the dog!

One last question - I don't want to know IF anybody got killed in this race, I want to know HOW MANY?

VCA 2010 RACE RUN from changoman on Vimeo.

ST PADDY DAY MUDDY NIGHT RIDE

While most of you were sitting at home in your green underwear reading on your computer that "Winter Riding" is officially over, or sitting in a bar drinking green beer or eating green pancakes, a few of us, Craig (aka Flying Bats - Sid), Specialized Steve, Travis aka Fangs McGee aka Stumps McGee, Steve Yellow Red, Big Mac and his wife Sarah, on her first ride on her new Redline, were enjoying some outstanding weather, wind, rain, and yeah, a little mud.

Somebody likes their new cyclocross bike, don't they?

Sarah showing off her new bike. Thanks to Adam McIntyre (could they be Irish?) for the photos. Looks like Sarah is going to be racing some cross next year.

Yup, she's Irish.

So off we rode, into the night, well it wasn't quite that dark. We could have almost made the whole 2.5 hours and big loop up north, without artificial light.

Car up! Yeah we could see him coming.

Nice shot, shaky. Hey it's art, okay?

This shot wasn't shaking because of the cold, that's for sure. At one point I had to take of my hat (a few of us did) and gloves to cool off. Temperatures were up in the 60's?

Less blur, buy more limestone slur' on the road.

It did get darker.

And darker.

And then we were back in the lot. Here's the standard "muddy boot" photo.

Travis, aka Fang McGee and so on aka ... looking like he was rode hard and put away wet.

She was St Paddilicious, yeah she was.

Back at the Honey Creek St. Patrick's Day was in full Green swing, though not as packed as I thought it would be. Still you could see by the trail of green beer and corned-beef-cabbage vomit in the lot it really was St. Paddy's Day in Cannonsburg.

Robin took a magic St. Paddy's Day shot ...

And turned into this! Hey where's Robin?

Hope you all enjoyed your green pancakes and beer. I'm off to powerwash that cornedbeef and Guiness slurry off my bike ...

COOLER THAN NAPOLEON DYNAMITE WITH A MAC? RIDING TONIGHT, THAT'S WHAT

So true. But just as cool is riding tonight. Chances of mud are getting lower and lower since we've hauled about ten tons of the shit home with us, embedded in clothing, chains, and glued to our downtubes.

Unless something awesome happens to me, I plan on being there. I might even go for a delicous Bass afterward at the HC.

SEMI-MUDDY RIDE AND BAD-ASS PANTS REPORT MARCH 15

What's that in the sky? A bird? A plane? No ... it's light! Yeah, we made it through most of the ride last night without the assistance of artificial lighting devices. Here we are crossing Belding Road in what appears to be daylight. The funny part was hardly anyone could tell where we were because they could see where we were. Does that make sense? Perfect Bastard sense, that's what sense it makes.

Showing nice organizational skillz crossing the road - ya think?

By the time the ride was done, it was dark. Yeah dark follows light once again ... plus the addition of a little mud. There was some mud, but not big loads. Rob shows off a nice smatter on his face. You know I think spas charge for mud packs on your face. Out here they're free. Eat your hearts out girls.

A pox on me. Or, what, that's just mud.

Big Mac collected his bad-self a little brown splatter. Let's hope it was from the road, and not Steve's refried bean experience from lunch ...

I see you. Can you see me? Are you digging my Glow Stick look?

Speaking of bad-ass. It just keeps getting badder and badder doesn't it? Big Mac pulls off the glasses and gives us the look. Where's my CSI Miami "Sunglasses" montage?

Yeah ladies, here I am. Mr. Glow Stick II, to you.

You wonder how could he be any badder, or any more Glow Stickier. Well here's your answer. After the ride he was like Super Napolean Dynamite Glow Stick II.

Yeah, that's what I'm uh, talkin' about.

Speaking of even more bad-ass, and more Napolean Dynamite, check out Steve K's sweet-ass pants. Last time I saw leg coverings of this design quality was in Napoleon Dynamite, on the Tai Kwon "Do" martial arts instructor.

"Hey, howdaya like a round-house kick in the face from one of these bad-boyz?"

It's almost Steve was this guy! Uncanny isn't it?

Unfortunately when the rest of the crew tried that same "pants action" it turned out like this.

Yeah, we suck. And we know it.

Speaking of bad-boyz, once again all this speaking stuff, here's some bad boyz hanging out in the parking lot drinking some beerz. First lot drinking of the new year. Yeah, it's spring.

Steve and Rob tipping some Guiness. But who's the Glowstick on their left?

Glow stick I, calling Glow Stick II. Where are you Glow Stick II?

Thanks for the Guiness, My Goodness, Glowstick One, errrr, Redline Bastard. Not pictured from last night's ride: Randy & Friend, Steve B and Specialized Steve.

Barry Roubaix

Bastards

I haven't made nearly my quota of winter rides, meaning I've made none, but I am planning a Barry Roubaix Recon ride this Saturday with a launch time of 9am. Should be a good group...anyone is welcome. Not looking to hammer through the course, just get a ride in.

Here is info posted from Rick about parking:

The DNR has closed the entrance to the Gun Lake Unit due to the thaw and crumbling asphalt and have asked that we direct people wanting to practice the route to park at the area outside the Long Lake Outdoor Center gates by the Hall lake trailhead. Temps in the fifties this week, maybe 60! That should thaw the frost line and dry up the dirt roads finally. Get out and ride!

SOCAL CROSS VIDEO - RIDE TONIGHT

A little eye-opener for the morning - a music-vid posted up on the CXM site http://www.cxmagazine.com/ - check it out on Cyclocross Magazine along with the latest stories. Meanwhile have some coffee and get caffeinated with this little number ...

Anybody interested in riding some dirt tonight? Hey, I'll even bring the bike washer.

See ya.

Big Mac Wheel Build

Like the guy and his dad that built a shed in the backyard "using no tools" Big Mac shows us how to build a wicked tubular wheel using homemade devices which are pretty genius. I can't wait to see if his next project is building an entire cyclocross bike out of Pabst cans.

Enjoy another great video by Big Mac.

CROSS VIRGIN VIDEO 03.13.11

From the great site Mud & Cowbells. Some dude from EAS is attempted 30 sports in so many days, in some kind of biblical -athletic endeavor. Here he gets a load of cross for the first time from some hardcore-cross addicts in Boulder. Enjoy, people who already know what they're doing.

RIDE/MUD BATH TONIGHT 03.10.11

Anybody ready to put their foot down for a probably muddy ride tonight?

Well, I am, I guess. Just power washed the bike after Tuesday's love fest.

It look a little bit like this. Nothing thick. Just juicy.

You gotta love the mud collector on the tail-end of the Arione, don't ya? Just hope I don't have to pry anything out of that tail--bag.

Oh, and one of our favorite riders commented on a thing called "FACE BOOK" that she thought that the young women featured in yesterday's post were not actually soccer players, and probably never played soccer in their lives. They are fact, according to our good friend, Soccer Player Impersonators. This could be. But I ask you, how could they do this if they weren't really soccer players? What else could you do to get such MAD SKILLZ?

See you fender mongers tonight.

MUDDY RIDE DOWN MEMORY LANE

Last night's ride was one of the muddiest I can remember for sometime. Of course that's not a for long, owing to my age, which is, well I forget, I'll have to check out my racing age on my ... damn I forgot to renew my USCF license again. Anyway, it was a muddy one.

This is what happened when Redline tried to come around me on the right, or left, and I didn't know he was there and swerved to miss one of 8 million water-filled potholes last night.

Yeah it was ugly, but riding or playing in the mud doesn't always have to be ugly. Remember these shots from a muddy ride long, long ago?

Yeah, it's girls play mud-soccer. Man I can't get enough of mud-soccer. The skill, the mud, the girls playing mud-soccer.

I especially like #9's mad ball skillz. Awesome work #9!

This is what's like after a tough game of mud-soccer, or a ride in the mud - you're just plain tuckered out. Yeah this is what it was like at the Honey Creek, only replace this hot girls with ugly old geezers with their muddy faces stuck in black beers.

CAUGHT ON TAPE

Surly Bastard and his teammates were caught performing some kind of satanic pre-ride ceremony. Very desperate move in deed, but it will not work dude; Team Glow Stick rules these roads…

RIDE TONIGHT: IT'S SPRING NOW, ISN'T IT?

Set your clocks ahead or back. Tear the page of the calendar, get out that sacrificial chicken blood you've been saving. Put on your Kiss me Irish jersey, it's spring! Isn't it?

The weather has warmed so that it's time to unveil, and I do mean unveil, our latest riding uniforms for the new season. So toss of those insulated riding jackets, knickers, Lake Boots, lighten up ... we've hired some models to well, model our new kit. See what you think.

I think that something like this might look good on Big Kahuna. This young lady just needs some studded tires and fenders.

Steve and his new bike? Well close. I don't think that his 29er was a step through, But the pink kinda reminds me of his colorful green/yellow whip. I don't know about the white bikini with his beard though ... something's wrong there.

Speaking of wrong just image Jeff Z in this riding kit. It makes my head ache to think of it. Wait, it can't be Jeff Z, she's riding, and I mean riding, a mountain bike. And we all know he rocks a Redline. Bastard.

Speaking of Jeff Z, and the Glo-Stick Brothers, I think that Jeff Z, aka Redline Bastard, is the featured rider in this video below. Check it out, it looks just like him.

It's a long video, but it's worth watching the whole thing - especially the end when they are captured by hill people, tortured a little bit, and thne escape on their bikes when the meth lab explodes. It's kinda of like what's going to happen tonight. It's called 11 mile.

Now which one of those kits am I going to wear tonight?

ICE-ICE BABY OR WHAT WOULD SVEN NYS DO?

I don't know about you kids but I'm thinking it might be icy out tonight. I could put on my studded ice tires, which weigh about as much as the snow/ice tire pictured below.

Or I could get the motor bike out and slap some studded ice tires on it ...

Here I am making a turn onto Corrigan, throttle cracked open ...

Here's the sweet ICE-ICE Baby at rest.

And here's the business end of the sucker.

Or I could just chain up for max traction. Gee she's sweet, but hey, where f's the ice?

OOOOOOR, if I had a sweet pair (over $400 worth of tires) of Dugast Diablo Tires with ICE SPIKES like Piranha teeth, I might be persuaded into riding tonight. But I'm thinking I may just sit this one out. I smell crash happening.